Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Oh Angel..

So.. contrary to popular belief.. my little angel.. is ..not so angelic. Fine time to find out- a month before Christmas.. Hmmp. And I was prepared to charge my life away (reminds me of eddie rabbit song... ooooh I'm driving my life away, lookin for a sunny day) ..back to story. So... last Friday night -while making my usual 3am round (fridge -for binge eating, washroom -for.. well and kids room) I realized my little dolly was not in her bed. WHAT? **insert sound effects -breaks squealing and various swear words** So... I run downstairs to find the dining area in disarray- poker chips scattered about and 2 empty bottles of booze.. WTH? What do these children do after I go to sleep? So I check for roomates son in his bed.. Gone too.. **shakes head** After a quick search of how and assesment of situation (ha ha -I make me sound so calm) I call angels cell...

This is me: "Where ARE you"

She replies: "Oh.. well... we were hungry so we walked to steak and shake" (no kidding the kid was cool as a cucumer -fully believing she had done no wrong)

Me again (with more rage this time): "Get YOUR ASS (and I totally said the "A word" I didnt even spell it this time) HOME

...Now I have tried several times to rationalize this situation... As my daughter is not yet 16 and hasn't even earned the right to breath ..let alone date... she does not really have a curfew... could my neglect to set a curfew some how confused her to the point that she thought it was "ok" to walk out of the house at 3 am ...I mean... I've never specifically said "you can't roam the streets like a hoodlum at 3am" ...I thought it was UNDERSTOOD!

I've always felt so blessed to have somehow escaped the problems people typically have with teens ...looks like mines just a late bloomer... What do you know ... I guess the fun is just beginning...

Life as we know it...

Life on the farm is kind of laid back... Things have changed dramatically wether I have willed them that way or not... Times seem to be changing and things ...just don't seem as "blog-worthy" these days... In the past the days have all been ..an adventure just getting thru.. there was always something that BLEW UP or caught fire and ...inevitably someone would get trashed, trip over the dog and fall down the stairs (yes... that was usually me) ...But ..things don't seem as chaotic lately.. theres kind of a peaceful easy feelin about the day... kind of monotonous some days.. but nice.

As I write this I reflect on a solid week of parties and have to ask myself.. have things really slowed down or have I just started drinking more ...to the point I can't remember all the things I meant to tell you.

Pretty sure it's time for some ...self-reflection. Life is good.. very good. I couldn't be happier... but lately ...while things seem slow ...maybe it's just the alcohol mellowing the mood a bit. It's all fun and games till we can't remember November and December is upon us...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


I think... after some, very minimal, self reflection ...I have finally realized what my issue is. ((yes, contrary to popular belief.. there is just ONE "issue" -SINGULAR)) I am not obsessive-compulsive, as originally (self) diagnosed.. but instead ...i'm pretty sure, I have a "mobile obsession". My obsession actually moves from one activity to another... If one is not available ...another easily fills it's place. All this insight comes after a long night out ...with alcohol, of course, intensifying the effects of my reflection...

Generally, I am very compulsive with my "house work" -or OVERALL SANITIZATION (as some would say) This, oddly enough, does not carry over to my truck... which leads me to believe... I am not- "down with o.c.d" A true victim of O.C.D is not able to be so selective with the "sanitization process" ...I'm pretty sure everything is 100% sterile ...all the time for those folks! Also, my "obsessiveness" is usually restricted to my own house- I like to be in charge of my world and ..it gives me a sense of "being in control" I think... No matter what else is falling a part at the minute ...I know my home ..is a safe haven ...clear of chaos. -Plus, I have been told over the years... MANY TIMES, it is not cool to try and exert control over someone else' world! hee hee hee. However, I must add the following disclaimer **If I am spending extended amounts of time at your house THEN your house tends to roll over or merge into my world. In that case I am no longer able to distinguish between mine and yours and your home "may" become subject to sterilization. Please do not take offense. Clutter makes my nerves nervous...
To Summarize... I spend a TREMENDOUS amount of time cleaning things that are considered, by most people, already clean.

However, after spending the weekend at my sisters house (which is always clean and clutter-free) I realized.. when there is nothing to clean... My obsession is just as easily fulfilled by EATING! The only thing I cleaned out all weekend was the refrigerator! I'm fully aware of the fact that I consumed like 9000 calories a day while I was there and not only am I ok with that... I'M PROUD! Hey.. the fridge is clean! ha! I'm killing 2 birds with 14 county ham biscuits, a casserole and 9 bags of chips! That's a lot for a little girl to put away! On a side note, I'm pretty sure my brother-in-law is disgusted by the fact that I can eat 7 boxes of twinkies, 3 frozen pizzas and 5 bottles of wine BEFORE BREAKFAST. ...As I was fixing a bologna sandwich at 3am this morn I heard him call out from the bedroom "stay out of the cheetos fatty" ((and that's the part that's NO JOKE! I admit I'm an over-exxaggerater sometimes... it was only 2 bottles of wine- but my brother in law really did call me fatty!)) But what he doesn't know... Is I wasn't going for the chips... I was logging onto myspace... for it seems my obsession has moved, once again...

Myspace is the whole reason I'm not obsessed with this place anymore.. I never post blogs these days because I'm "checking out everyones medicine cabinets on myspace" ...COMPLETELY OBSESSED.. I can not log off myspace. I HAVE A MOBILE OBSESSION... I can't seem to do anything in moderation and most of all ... I can't sit still... which confirms the need for mobility.

Is there a name for this?

Monday, September 25, 2006


For such an exciting weekend I don't have much worth posting today!

Friday night was homecoming at the high school. I struggled with huge dilemma all week ...as wether or not to let *daughter* go to "after party" ...upon MUCHO dileberation I decided, AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, that she could go. (I'm not a total kill-joy!) ...That decision was made before I knew the Heavens would open up and dump the Atlantic Ocean out on us! Our whole town was flooded in a matter of like ...45 SECONDS! -this is when "parnoid polly" kicks in and makes *daughter* come home. Flood waters=scary (combined with hyped up homecoming kids undoubtedly doing whip-its and taking shots of cheap vodka in their car) Very unsafe! **Disclaimer: Children do not try that in your cars** I don't think I fully understood the effects of "I WANT YOU HOME NOW -I DON'T CARE WHO COMES WITH -BUT YOU COME NOW" ...for by midnight I'm pretty sure I had 20 teenagers piled in the living room like mexican jumping beans! All's well that ends well I guess. I'd rather have them there than anywhere... -On side note, in process of "gathering the little heathens" I found myself navigating "The Atlantic" in Suzie. It was like trying to take a boat ride in a wheelbarrow. That's about the amount of control I had over my truck! MAJOR FLOOD! Just let me say, for the record, I DO NOT DEAL WELL WITH EMERGENCY'S! Major major meltdown people... the rain was pouring down, thunder crashing, lighting flashing and I WAS CRYING!

Saturday morn was spent cleaning up the aftermath -basement flooded, ceiling fell (again ...how much more chaos can one person have!!) and HELLO! Did I mention 20 TEENAGERS SPENT THE NIGHT! Needless to say, major shopping trip in order.. They were like crack addicts in the kitchen cabinets ...just looking for their next fix! I was warming chicken and tossing it over the fence (ok ..it was only the bar!!) like i was feeding a pack of savage wolves! -WHERE'S BUBBA WHEN YOU NEED HIM??

Saturday Day was spent at my sisters cooking the best hashbrown casserole EVAH, wrapping "cacoons", drinking toddies and trying to figure out how to make cupcakes look like butterflies using 3 skittles, a pretzel and some very messy food coloring;) KUDOS TO *daughter*! YOU'RE BIRDS TOTALLY FLEW;)

Saturdays party ROCKED HARDCORE! We had a blast (rum induced probably!) Chowing down on awesome bbq smoked pork, socializing, trading toddies and "fluttering while intoxicated" (I heart my sister!) Just one person missing -missed him.

Sunday morning and one bottle of rum later... I could probably just stop there. But I'm pretty sure I could not suffer much more than I did at 7am yesterday ...so I'll relive it here now. I woke up feeling like my skull was protruding from my eyeballs -like big sharp dagger ...and I'm pretty sure said dagger was curled up and piercing back thru to my brain via my forehead. I think I would rather chew broken glass and suffer a slow painful death than drink another bottle of Appletons Rum. I felt like I had drank 19 bottles of red red wine. MAJOR HEADACHE. ...MAJOR OBLIGATION TO FULFILL. ...So, I rolled out of bed, took 2 aspirins, drank 42 glasses of water, took a shower and picked up Grandma for church -CHURCH ...not lets go to church church... that's easy. More like ...let's go to Homecoming ..THREE HOURS AWAY CHURCH. The only thing that saved my family from my cranky cranium yesterday was the 40 feet of food these fabulous Baptist women cooked up for my own partaking... PASS THE JACK SISTER! PRAISE JESUS!

It's a wonderful world.