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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

We got a 402-Perp Suspected White Trash Redneck

I honestly believe it is quite possible that my neighbors have me beat. I assumed my family, at 48%, was the trashiest family in the whole county. NOT SO!

Last night around supper time we received a call from a kid that we’ve been trying to befriend and …save. Super nice kid, …17 years old …that despite the conditions at home ..does very well at school and has a tremendous amount of respect. The rockstar has really been devoting a lot of time to teaching the boy how to …be a man. Everything from being responsible to fixing cars and playing guitars. So …we get the call that the Boy’s (from here on out will be referred to as D) stepdad is threatening to “slit his throat” …we take this very seriously as less than a week ago D’s dad actually brought a knife to the fight. It’s just a terrible, heartbreaking situation. ….Definitely something you would see on cops..

Last week the rockstar took D to nearby city for major event. I guess D thanked rockstar 100 times before ever reaching city. He was just so ecstatic to “get away” ..and have a normal kids life for one day. However, the very next day he was punished for having fun and had to walk 4 hours in the cold to get to work …all because “if he can find a ride to play he can find a ride to work” …Then there’s the mother …who has a tremendous amount of love for the kids and was heartbroken that dad would not allow her to take son to work. …The ironic thing is that D paid all the families bills last week and bought stepdads beer …because stepdad does not have a job. It’s amazing what D has to go through on a daily basis …and what he does to provide for his family and …out of love for his mother.

So …The rockstar is immediately infuriated and turns into some kind of Stone Cold Hulky Hector Protector to save new friend. I was very proud ..and surprisingly turned on by his macho-ism …but wait …what is he looking for??? Rockstar pulls out level from Home Improvement bin …What is he thinking??? Hello Mr …that is a weapon and you will go to jail for using said weapon!! Rockstar is concerned white trash dad will attack with knife ….UM HELLO! It’s a little kitchen knife ..not a samurai sword and you are twice his size. Rockstar is 6’1 and weighs in at a hefty 230! Who brings a level to a knife fight anyway?? Rockstar should thank cool headed quick thinking gf appropriately today for keeping him from the clink …I’m thinking jewels …but the s-e-x was awesome …the power he showed off last night was exciting! Boxing makes me HOT!!

16 Comments:

  • At 10:12 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    UGGGHHH ...everytime I think about this dad I get so angry. ..He is such an effing a-s-s ...he chases boy into yard in his underwear and calls D's girlfriends house drunk ...then mother makes girl break up with D ...because his family is so dysfunctional ..UGHHHH

     
  • At 10:28 AM, Blogger Master Foley said…

    I'm not quite sure what to say.
    Glad the sex was good.

     
  • At 10:39 AM, Blogger John Q. Public esq. said…

    gee, sounds just like my step-dad, he was a real prince among men, having grown up in a shitty world like that I can tell you that the boy can make it if he wants to. Piss on his mom for not caring enought to protect him from this crap...

    On another note, unlike most women Mrs. JQP loves it when I get into a fight (something that happenes often enough to not be odd) she says it makes her h-o-t, that and it helps that I win..

    so, what you say me an rockstar pay that ol'boy a visit, and drag him down the road a bit behind that pretty new truck...

    oh and...my seed my seed!

     
  • At 10:55 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    Oh Gosh ...the rockstar has been aching to give this worthless S.O.B. an a** whippin' for a long time. Don't encourage it! If dad had the nerve to bring it last night rockstar would've ripped him to shreds. It's a bad situation all around ..but I totally believe in this kid and don't want to see him let the situation overcome him.

    ...but I'd love to see a couple of good ol' boys whip his a** hard ;)

     
  • At 11:25 AM, Blogger Winning Loser said…

    Well, there is always the possibility of masked vengance. Vigilantism is pretty cool, it isn't like we have a crack CSI team to figure out whodunnit. So put on a ski mask and put the muther in the hospital. Or better yet, get some bad drugs, plant them on him and sick the cops on him. He goes away and then D doesn't have any troubles. At a later date I will erease this post so there will be no record to trace...

     
  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    LOL! I love you guys! While we're at it ..we'll swing by your noisy neighbors;)

    Be-bop to Rocksteady. Project Vigilante is a go. Meeting at 0600 ...the bird is in the fire. I repeat, the bird is in the fire

     
  • At 12:41 PM, Blogger Winning Loser said…

    Ahhhh... it is nice to build a community of wonderful criminals... er I mean friends. Ski-Mask Vengance Team go!

     
  • At 1:25 PM, Blogger Master Foley said…

    I'm down for some masked vigilantism.
    Reminds me of the time some brothers and I had to rescue another brother from some thugs.

     
  • At 1:35 PM, Blogger John Q. Public esq. said…

    to hell with the masks, I kinda like them to see my face... but then again I am more than a bit twisted, in so much that when things hit a critical level any injuries that A) are not life threatening B) take less than 6 months to heal, don’t help to express the point that is being made. But, I am a native of a more primitive culture….

     
  • At 1:46 PM, Blogger Winning Loser said…

    Maybe so, but I have much respect for your possition. I only suggest masks to disuade said offenders from seeking legal measures for the justice meted out they so richly deserved.

     
  • At 1:52 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    What position is that ;)

     
  • At 1:54 PM, Blogger Winning Loser said…

    You, my sweet little strawberrie, may have a dirty mind. I like it!

     
  • At 1:55 PM, Blogger Winning Loser said…

    But, as you said on my blog after reading the future news headline, new meaning to doggie-style.

     
  • At 3:01 PM, Blogger Müzikdüde said…

    I realize that rockstar is a dynamo in the sack, but a LEVEL?

    Come on! There are much better tools to take to a fight. Besides, why doesn't rockstar have a pistol? What kind of rockstar is he? The Barry Manilow species?

    Let that guy go buy a real weapon. (We've already determined that his "gun" works just fine)

    As for D's "dad"...
    I knew a guy like that once. I sent him an e-card and put another neighbor's (whom I disliked equally) e-mail addy in the "From" section. Oh yeah, they were buddys until Billy Bob got a "coming out" e-card from Jethro.

    White trash rednecks are fun. Don't let anyone tell you different.

     
  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    I know A FREAKING LEVEL!!! I think his rage took over his ability to think clearly ...I said he was sexy -NOT SMART! But of course he has fire power ...what self respecting redneck doesn't pack a pistol?? Good thing it wasn't the first thing he saw!

    Angry step dad is lucky rockstar hadn't had his bubble bath yet ...That would have really p*ssed him off ..to have to get out after therapy;)

     
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