Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

IT HURTS...

As you all know ...yesterday was my big mommy/daughter date. ...Being away from each other through this move is really "trying" for both of us. I nearly cried when I finally got to hug her yesterday. We loaded up in the truck and went to the movies to see "coach carter" (awesome movie!) ...It lasted a little longer than I thought and we still had to eat supper. By the time our date had ended it was too late to stay the night where we had originally planned so ...we opted to "go see daddy" ...Maybe this wasn't the smartest move on my part, but we called in advance to make sure it was ok. ...although he was at a friends house playing cards he told us we were welcome and he would love to have us stay the night.

The house has really changed in the few short days we've been gone ...back to it's original "bachelor pad" ...complete with plenty of beer, love notes from girl(s) along with their special packages for him full of lotions and massagers ...I was, naturally, devestated to find in the 4 days I'd been gone my rockstar had already slept with 3 girls (one ex-gf and a threesome) ...in 4 days. ...How does this happen ...how do you do it that quick. I'm at a true loss for words today...

He tried to "redeem" himself and tell me that he just needed someone to comfort him ...to make it ok. YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT COMFORT? I've been alone in a house for 4 days, crying and drinking myself to sleep every night wondering how I will ever get over him and missing my daughter so bad it makes me physically sick. ...but I haven't called ANYONE for "comfort".

I know it seems bizarre that I am this devastated ...it does to me even. I am the one that left, ...but I left with every hope that we would someday find a way to be together.

I feel ...violated ...like I have no idea who he was or what his thoughts or feelings were towards our relationship ...because I can tell you ...it will be a long time (at least a week!) before I feel like "going out" with someone. I have never "distrusted" him or could even fathom this was in him ...It's unlike any message he's conveyed to me. This hurts ...deep down inside hurts.

7 Comments:

  • At 2:13 PM, Anonymous Master Foley said…

    aw sweetie thats sucks
    im here for ya

     
  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    That's what he said...

     
  • At 4:07 PM, Blogger ananonymousgirl said…

    And people wonder why I am still so jaded!!

    These are the times there are no real appropriate words. So I'll just say this....

    We haven't met yet (but we will!), but you have a girlfriend in Georgia that would love to sit with you and RB, get drunk, and male bash all night...and then all cry together. Sometimes that's the only way to start healing...

     
  • At 4:15 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    I don't know how to make it better ..he was my "forever" ..the one I prayed for and waitted for. The one I invested everything that was left in ...how do you move forward "nothing"...

    Sweet "southern comfort" ..that sounds FINE;) Count me in on that date!

     
  • At 8:32 AM, Anonymous Master Foley said…

    SS - ya but I mean it and you know that

    AG - male bashing shame on you ...LOL

     
  • At 10:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    or none of my posts getting in?

    JQP

     
  • At 11:06 PM, Blogger De Delaware House Cleaning said…

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