Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Friday, May 06, 2005

WTF?

As most of you know ...the rockstar and I have parted ways. ...A mutual decision with hopes that we would one day find a way to be together again. If you've been reading you are aware that I moved out on Sat. ...and his ex gf helped to "comfort" him on Sunday. I would like to post a few emails being sent and someone please tell me ...am I over-behaving again and treating him
unfairly?

I said:


Date: Thu, 5 May 2005 12:53:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: Strawberrie Shortcake
To: codking54

you can not begin
to comprehend
what you have done
to me... us.

He said:

Codking54
Date: Thu, 5 May 2005 18:39:42 EDT

Well ok your right. but i haven't stopped loving you. and i miss you. please don't let one of my personal mistakes, while we were apart, stop us from loving each other when we are together. I am sorry that you were hurt. I was trying to help me not hurt you. if you don't wanna talk to me again, I understand. yet, if you wanna call you can. I hope that you do....i will be waiting for it this time. loving you right now j

I said:


Date:
Fri, 6 May 2005 05:04:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: Strawberrie Shortcake
Subject:
Re:
To: Codking54

Don't be so self-centered. This was not just "a personal mistake" ...you have involved 4 other people in your "personal mistake" ...I will suffer, as well as "my daughter", tish (the ex) and tim (her fiance'). ...So don't think for a second it is a "personal mistake" ...you are taking a boat load of people down with you.

Furthermore, I would not classify us as "apart" ...I was trying to be an adult and neutralize a situation that had gotton out of control ...but you are always in my heart and on my mind.

And, how could you possibly think that making love to another woman was "keeping you from hurting me" ...you have a very disturbing thought process.

I highly doubt you will be "waitting" for me. I've seen how long you can "wait" ...wasn't impressed.

You have hurt me J. I never ever thought something like this was possible out of you. I feel like I don't know you at all. I'm disappointed.

and I said this:

What is realize is this-

I always thought that I was the "weak" one in our relationship ...but that's just not true. You belittled me and made me feel like I was less than you ...and I am not. You are unsure of yourself and can not be alone ...You need someone, anyone, to validate you. I am no more special than any girl has ever been in your life -and they, no more special than I ...You need someone to "comfort" you and any arms will do. To me, that is pathetic ...and sad.

You have preached about honesty since this relationship started ...however, you are still not being completely honest with me ...until you can bare your soul and tell me every last little detail ...I can not trust you.

Tish was not something that "just happened" ...thoughts of her have weighed us down for a long time ...and that's one of the main reasons I live here now. Thanks for bringing in into light for me. Had you not been so blantantly obvious I would have never imagined it...

You just don't get it Jason. You can not see "the big picture" ...you just roam around the concession stand and never get the full effect of the theater ...it's massive and powerful. What we have is great ...but it barely skims the surface. The sequel is awesome ...but it takes time and effort to get there. You have to figure out what you want in life and commit to it. I invested everything I had left in you... You were my forever ...I feel violated and betrayed by you ...like all that, everything we've done to be together was in vain ...and in the end ...a lie. When you love someone jason ...When you are really in love with someone ...You can't do what you've done. ...the thought of another mans hands on me makes me ill ...I know it would make me physically sick to have sex with anyone but you ...and you found it in you to do it the day after I left ...that, to me, shows your true character.

Someone please tell me ...do you just walk away? and if so, how?

21 Comments:

  • At 8:42 AM, Anonymous Master Foley said…

    sweetie I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like

     
  • At 8:53 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    ...feels like a steam roller is truckin' across my heart ...then the driver gets off, we make passionate love for hours, then he gets back on the roller and backs up ...I'm in lovers limbo ...I love him so much and can't stand him at the same time.

     
  • At 10:55 AM, Blogger ananonymousgirl said…

    Something I've learned...

    I tried giving all of myself once and found out that after years of being together, I still couldn't change the person he is inside. Self-centered. I have to be happy with myself on my own. Someone will have to want me for who I am and give back to the relationship in like kind.

    I know you love him SS. However, you can't love enough for the both of you. I hate to say this, but he truly wants his cake and to eat it too.

    You, my dear sweet friend, are worth more than that!! Yes, it hurts. Yes, it will hurt for awhile. You'll cry, then be pissed and scream and yell. But ask yourself this one question.

    "If it were your grown daughter going through this, what would you want her to do?"

     
  • At 11:29 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    I just "like" him so much. We have a tremendous amount of "fun" together... I just don't want to do anything "without him". ...But, I realize ...that is is "just fun" to him and he was never that invested into the relationship as a whole.

    It is what it is... and for the memories ...I am thankful and happy. ...But today, ...it hurts

     
  • At 12:11 PM, Blogger John Q. Public esq. said…

    sweet pea, oh sweet pea...
    sorry for you and your pain, but if you dont walk away now, you might as well get used to the pain part...

    there are others, who are worth your love...

    JQP

     
  • At 12:57 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    ...but I don't want others ...I want J **picture pouty lips to get full affect** ;)

     
  • At 3:16 PM, Blogger ananonymousgirl said…

    Pouty lips are really sexy. Use those next time you go out and find there are many others who will appreciate you for YOU!

     
  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    LOL! How do you always make it about sex anon ...YOU NAUGHTY KITTY;)

     
  • At 3:49 PM, Blogger ananonymousgirl said…

    Because honey, I'm jaded. But I like sex so I have to put up with the male bullshit. :)

    Wanna be a naughty kitty with me??

     
  • At 3:55 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    ..too sad to be bad right now:(

    I'll have to sit this one out, sorry. Have a good weekend!

     
  • At 4:01 PM, Blogger ananonymousgirl said…

    I'm a very patient kitty...

    We can take drunk and cry together this weekend...and however long it takes!

    Then we'll be sexy kitties out on the town!

     
  • At 4:06 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    ..too bad you can't bring a spray bottle and come over and "score" with rainbow and I tonight;)

     
  • At 4:09 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    oops! "to" bad!

     
  • At 11:46 AM, Blogger Kirsti said…

    nah it's too bad. I know you don't know me but we've all been through it. You go cry and scream then get a few more friends than you knew you had to go out with you and have a few more drinks then you think you can handle and see it's better without him

     
  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger Rainbow-Bright said…

    You are doing just great Sweetie and no way did you "over-behave"! Things will be better soon, you'll see!

     
  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger John Q. Public esq. said…

    can I watch? hell can I help?

    JQP

     
  • At 11:15 AM, Blogger Fishman said…

    Youre out ... open season. I'll be in town this weekend!

     
  • At 11:30 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    I bet you could really score JQP;)

    Fishy ..you absolutely MUST come to town this weekend ...RELAY FOR LIFE is friday night ...we could use a big strong man like yourself;)

     
  • At 3:38 PM, Blogger John Q. Public esq. said…

    well now...after reading fishman I have a better pic. of whats been going on, hell ol' boy I can drive down, we could meet and give him a good old down home ass beating...

    just an idea,

    JQP

     
  • At 3:26 PM, Blogger Fishman said…

    JQP ... Sounds good to me. I'm just waiting for Shortcake to make sure he needs it ... although I know he does. I don't want her mad at me for "scaring" him a bit ;-)

     
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