Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Friday, July 29, 2005


When I was 14 I left home. I just knew I could make a better life somewhere else (Lord, don't we wish we knew everything we knew back then!) I married and had a beautiful bb girl that to this very day is my best good friend -However, the boy wasn't so "beautiful" and there was never any honeymoon. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to stay home with our child her first year. However, by the time I was 18 her wonderful dad had "sold me" to the gentlemens club a block away. Apparently "he knew a girl" (most likely was sleeping with a girl) that had worked there and if I "would just do it a couple of months" we could get out of debt and get a good start in life. HA! ~But, I agreed ~as usual.

My first night was terrible ...absolutely miserable ...disheartening ...and it sickens me to think of it even now. I'd never seen girls act so vulgar and definitely had Never EVER seen anyone stark naked in public. I was shocked that such a place even existed. PEOPLE I WAS 18!! And having left home at 14 to marry and have a baby ...I didn't have a whole lot of "worldly" experiences. I remember my "interview" ...my boss went over the following rules:

1. You dance 2 songs. At very least, your top must come off by the 2nd song.

2. If you are late, You pay the bar $50 for every hour.

3. You must keep 6" between you and patron while dancing ...OKAY! This one was Funny ...because I was like HELLO, I'll be 6 FEET from that sorry stinkin' S.O.B that should be home with his wife and kids. -DON'T WORRY!

My first night hurt ...absolutely hurt me on the inside. Being raised in a Christian home I knew this was not accceptable and God himself was crying for me. A waitress (obviously sent by boss) kept bringing me drinks to loosin' me up. I was thankful for them then, but now I wonder how they were able to serve "a child" alcohol. ...and that mean man kept yelling at me telling me I would have to go next or go home ...and home wasn't an option for me.

I worked those stupid clubs for what seemed like eternity. Most likely, a year. ...I had to keep my day job so no one would wonder how we were getting by so well and I worked the club at night ..away from my baby girl. Whats sickens me most is that ...at some point I became ok with it ...and started to enjoy the attention ...and work became fun for me.

Eventually, I realized this was not the life I wanted for my daughter or myself ...an abusive home and a mother that earned a living like that. I started giving my husband the majority of my pay -but always keeping a little back for us. Finally I had enough money to run away ...and I have never been back. I pray my daughter never knows this dark past.

Last night I ran into a guy that remembered me from there ...He used my stage name ...that made me uncomfortable.


  • At 2:41 PM, Anonymous Master Foley said…

    gosh I bet it did
    you put the past in the past
    and it sucks when it comes back

    keep strong
    luv ya sweetie

  • At 4:29 PM, Blogger Kirsti said…

    Yupp. Past is past, no point in regretting it. And look what you've become now. A hell of a blogger. Which is something to be proud of

  • At 8:56 PM, Blogger Jon said…

    Should be very proud to be who you are now, exactly. I am glad you listened to the good Lord above. YOu are raising a child, you are strong, you have everything going for ya ;)

  • At 9:25 PM, Blogger Original Blog-surfer said…

    Weird how the things from your past have a way of creeping up again, huh? I can only hope that some things from my past stay there...

  • At 10:58 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    Looking back, I can't say that I regret that experience ...because it is "experience". It has made me who I am ...and ...I like me! And I have been able to use that experience to relate and help other people ...But, I'm sure glad that's not the life I have to live today.

  • At 1:05 PM, Blogger John Q. Public esq. said…

    some many parts to you sweet-pea.
    and I love all of them.

    my little sister used to be a dancer, it kind of ruined the whole tity bar thing for me, I never again went to a "high-class" place (they were the kind of places she worked). When she would get into trouble she would call me, and Mrs. JQP and I would go get her...

    wow, now she have a five year old, and is in her 3 year of nursing school on deans lists, I am proud of her...

    those of us who had to stuggle to get where we are at, know something that others never will understand.


  • At 3:24 PM, Blogger Wickwire said…

    Good you got away from the dark side. Especially with a wee one. My two sisters and I went to a bar once and made up Mexican names and talked with a Mexican accent just for fun. A few years later we went back and took on Southern accents with "Steel Magnolia" names. Well one man walked up to my sister and said, "HI Chavez, long time no see." We figured the bar scene was no fun after all, never been back to one.

  • At 8:27 PM, Blogger Cowboy said…

    Hey, reading your story, Im glad you got away but at the same time Im hurting with you, I dont know how you feel at all, but I share your pain, Ive been doin alot of praying latly and Ill add you on the list, sounds like you need it.
    I dont usually put the ole phone number on the net but, sounds like you could use a friend( we all could use another friend ive found)

  • At 12:25 PM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    You guys are the kind of friends people should always cherish and be grateful for! Thanks for your words! Ya'll Rock!

  • At 1:11 AM, Anonymous The PoopSmith said…

    I disagree with your statements about not regretting stuff like this and attributing it to "experience"! I would say experiences like this scar someone and more to the point you were not intended to experience these things, just as I was not meant to experience certain things in my life. They may shape who we are, and maybe we are not as naive, but in the grand scheme of things I think I would prefer to be naive!
    With that I'll take my shovel and go to bed.

  • At 8:12 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    ...well said poopydale. **ponders thought** ...but don't we all have "scars" ..do you really feel their inescapable? Doesn't really matter what caused the scar ...a scar is a scar, right?

  • At 10:53 AM, Blogger Fishman said…

    Hey, Harry Potter had a scar and it made him famous! Your past is your past darling, and you've certainly come away stronger from it. Now, this is gonna seem like a reach, but if someone noticed you ... it means that at some point in your life you made him so happy that your image was burned into his memory. Now, it may have just been your kickin' booty, BUT maybe it was just because you shared a laugh with him or talked ot him. Perhaps he didn't have a family .. perhaps he just needed someone to listen that night .. and found you. And, as well all know, you're a good listener. Don't regret the decisions in life that make you stronger ... and the mistakes that have made you determined to not let "daughter" make .. or even have to think about making. Chin up, mate!

  • At 10:36 AM, Blogger Strawberrie-Shortcake said…

    I LOVE YOU FISHY! You're a good friend. (i like your booty too!)

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