Out of Character

Oh Angel..

2006-11-29T12:28:00.000-05:00

So.. contrary to popular belief.. my little angel.. is ..not so angelic. Fine time to find out- a month before Christmas.. Hmmp. And I was prepared to charge my life away (reminds me of eddie rabbit song... ooooh I'm driving my life away, lookin for a sunny day) ..back to story. So... last Friday night -while making my usual 3am round (fridge -for binge eating, washroom -for.. well and kids room) I realized my little dolly was not in her bed. WHAT? **insert sound effects -breaks squealing and various swear words** So... I run downstairs to find the dining area in disarray- poker chips scattered about and 2 empty bottles of booze.. WTH? What do these children do after I go to sleep? So I check for roomates son in his bed.. Gone too.. **shakes head** After a quick search of how and assesment of situation (ha ha -I make me sound so calm) I call angels cell...

This is me: "Where ARE you"

She replies: "Oh.. well... we were hungry so we walked to steak and shake" (no kidding the kid was cool as a cucumer -fully believing she had done no wrong)

Me again (with more rage this time): "Get YOUR ASS (and I totally said the "A word" I didnt even spell it this time) HOME

...Now I have tried several times to rationalize this situation... As my daughter is not yet 16 and hasn't even earned the right to breath ..let alone date... she does not really have a curfew... could my neglect to set a curfew some how confused her to the point that she thought it was "ok" to walk out of the house at 3 am ...I mean... I've never specifically said "you can't roam the streets like a hoodlum at 3am" ...I thought it was UNDERSTOOD!

I've always felt so blessed to have somehow escaped the problems people typically have with teens ...looks like mines just a late bloomer... What do you know ... I guess the fun is just beginning...

Life as we know it...

2006-11-29T12:14:00.000-05:00

Life on the farm is kind of laid back... Things have changed dramatically wether I have willed them that way or not... Times seem to be changing and things ...just don't seem as "blog-worthy" these days... In the past the days have all been ..an adventure just getting thru.. there was always something that BLEW UP or caught fire and ...inevitably someone would get trashed, trip over the dog and fall down the stairs (yes... that was usually me) ...But ..things don't seem as chaotic lately.. theres kind of a peaceful easy feelin about the day... kind of monotonous some days.. but nice.

As I write this I reflect on a solid week of parties and have to ask myself.. have things really slowed down or have I just started drinking more ...to the point I can't remember all the things I meant to tell you.

Pretty sure it's time for some ...self-reflection. Life is good.. very good. I couldn't be happier... but lately ...while things seem slow ...maybe it's just the alcohol mellowing the mood a bit. It's all fun and games till we can't remember November and December is upon us...

MISPLACED OBSESSION...

2006-10-24T12:54:00.000-04:00

I think... after some, very minimal, self reflection ...I have finally realized what my issue is. ((yes, contrary to popular belief.. there is just ONE "issue" -SINGULAR)) I am not obsessive-compulsive, as originally (self) diagnosed.. but instead ...i'm pretty sure, I have a "mobile obsession". My obsession actually moves from one activity to another... If one is not available ...another easily fills it's place. All this insight comes after a long night out ...with alcohol, of course, intensifying the effects of my reflection...

Generally, I am very compulsive with my "house work" -or OVERALL SANITIZATION (as some would say) This, oddly enough, does not carry over to my truck... which leads me to believe... I am not- "down with o.c.d" A true victim of O.C.D is not able to be so selective with the "sanitization process" ...I'm pretty sure everything is 100% sterile ...all the time for those folks! Also, my "obsessiveness" is usually restricted to my own house- I like to be in charge of my world and ..it gives me a sense of "being in control" I think... No matter what else is falling a part at the minute ...I know my home ..is a safe haven ...clear of chaos. -Plus, I have been told over the years... MANY TIMES, it is not cool to try and exert control over someone else' world! hee hee hee. However, I must add the following disclaimer **If I am spending extended amounts of time at your house THEN your house tends to roll over or merge into my world. In that case I am no longer able to distinguish between mine and yours and your home "may" become subject to sterilization. Please do not take offense. Clutter makes my nerves nervous...
To Summarize... I spend a TREMENDOUS amount of time cleaning things that are considered, by most people, already clean.

However, after spending the weekend at my sisters house (which is always clean and clutter-free) I realized.. when there is nothing to clean... My obsession is just as easily fulfilled by EATING! The only thing I cleaned out all weekend was the refrigerator! I'm fully aware of the fact that I consumed like 9000 calories a day while I was there and not only am I ok with that... I'M PROUD! Hey.. the fridge is clean! ha! I'm killing 2 birds with 14 county ham biscuits, a casserole and 9 bags of chips! That's a lot for a little girl to put away! On a side note, I'm pretty sure my brother-in-law is disgusted by the fact that I can eat 7 boxes of twinkies, 3 frozen pizzas and 5 bottles of wine BEFORE BREAKFAST. ...As I was fixing a bologna sandwich at 3am this morn I heard him call out from the bedroom "stay out of the cheetos fatty" ((and that's the part that's NO JOKE! I admit I'm an over-exxaggerater sometimes... it was only 2 bottles of wine- but my brother in law really did call me fatty!)) But what he doesn't know... Is I wasn't going for the chips... I was logging onto myspace... for it seems my obsession has moved, once again...

Myspace is the whole reason I'm not obsessed with this place anymore.. I never post blogs these days because I'm "checking out everyones medicine cabinets on myspace" ...COMPLETELY OBSESSED.. I can not log off myspace. I HAVE A MOBILE OBSESSION... I can't seem to do anything in moderation and most of all ... I can't sit still... which confirms the need for mobility.

Is there a name for this?

BUBBAS AND BUTTERFLIES! WEEKEND REVIEW:

2006-09-25T13:29:00.000-04:00

For such an exciting weekend I don't have much worth posting today!

Friday night was homecoming at the high school. I struggled with huge dilemma all week ...as wether or not to let *daughter* go to "after party" ...upon MUCHO dileberation I decided, AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, that she could go. (I'm not a total kill-joy!) ...That decision was made before I knew the Heavens would open up and dump the Atlantic Ocean out on us! Our whole town was flooded in a matter of like ...45 SECONDS! -this is when "parnoid polly" kicks in and makes *daughter* come home. Flood waters=scary (combined with hyped up homecoming kids undoubtedly doing whip-its and taking shots of cheap vodka in their car) Very unsafe! **Disclaimer: Children do not try that in your cars** I don't think I fully understood the effects of "I WANT YOU HOME NOW -I DON'T CARE WHO COMES WITH -BUT YOU COME NOW" ...for by midnight I'm pretty sure I had 20 teenagers piled in the living room like mexican jumping beans! All's well that ends well I guess. I'd rather have them there than anywhere... -On side note, in process of "gathering the little heathens" I found myself navigating "The Atlantic" in Suzie. It was like trying to take a boat ride in a wheelbarrow. That's about the amount of control I had over my truck! MAJOR FLOOD! Just let me say, for the record, I DO NOT DEAL WELL WITH EMERGENCY'S! Major major meltdown people... the rain was pouring down, thunder crashing, lighting flashing and I WAS CRYING!

Saturday morn was spent cleaning up the aftermath -basement flooded, ceiling fell (again ...how much more chaos can one person have!!) and HELLO! Did I mention 20 TEENAGERS SPENT THE NIGHT! Needless to say, major shopping trip in order.. They were like crack addicts in the kitchen cabinets ...just looking for their next fix! I was warming chicken and tossing it over the fence (ok ..it was only the bar!!) like i was feeding a pack of savage wolves! -WHERE'S BUBBA WHEN YOU NEED HIM??

Saturday Day was spent at my sisters cooking the best hashbrown casserole EVAH, wrapping "cacoons", drinking toddies and trying to figure out how to make cupcakes look like butterflies using 3 skittles, a pretzel and some very messy food coloring;) KUDOS TO *daughter*! YOU'RE BIRDS TOTALLY FLEW;)

Saturdays party ROCKED HARDCORE! We had a blast (rum induced probably!) Chowing down on awesome bbq smoked pork, socializing, trading toddies and "fluttering while intoxicated" (I heart my sister!) Just one person missing -missed him.

Sunday morning and one bottle of rum later... I could probably just stop there. But I'm pretty sure I could not suffer much more than I did at 7am yesterday ...so I'll relive it here now. I woke up feeling like my skull was protruding from my eyeballs -like big sharp dagger ...and I'm pretty sure said dagger was curled up and piercing back thru to my brain via my forehead. I think I would rather chew broken glass and suffer a slow painful death than drink another bottle of Appletons Rum. I felt like I had drank 19 bottles of red red wine. MAJOR HEADACHE. ...MAJOR OBLIGATION TO FULFILL. ...So, I rolled out of bed, took 2 aspirins, drank 42 glasses of water, took a shower and picked up Grandma for church -CHURCH ...not lets go to church church... that's easy. More like ...let's go to Homecoming ..THREE HOURS AWAY CHURCH. The only thing that saved my family from my cranky cranium yesterday was the 40 feet of food these fabulous Baptist women cooked up for my own partaking... PASS THE JACK SISTER! PRAISE JESUS!

It's a wonderful world.

PICK YOUR PAIN

2006-09-18T13:56:00.000-04:00

My room-mate snorts protein powder. I prefer to crush no-doze.

BIG WOO

2006-09-15T11:34:00.000-04:00

I am ...woo'd **sighs** seriously WOO'D (ha ha -that looks like "wood" ...which is probably closer to what he is feeling **wink**) This new (old) boy ...really just does it for me. He excites me on the inside, shakes me up and makes me giggle... leaves me smiling all day for no reason -like a big goofball (it's humiliating!) I heart this ride we're on ...with the music up loud and the windows rolled down. I'm light as a feather and my belly's full of butterflies. I love to hear his voice a million times a day and laugh at him when he's singing something totally gay ...knowing he looks so super silly and he does it to make me giggle like a school girl. I heart goofing off and playing around with this boy -he's so fun loving and not afraid to be a kid again ...but then he can be a big boy too *wink* I love the way his hands feel -heavy and secure but never harsh or hurtful ...when he runs them over me it's like he's putting me all back together, sealing the cuts that have bleed me dry for to many years. Touching every inch of me to wipe away all the bad of all the years. Repairing each wound that has somehow aged me inside and outside too. Fixing everything and making me whole again. Somehow, they seem to me like big giant erasers wiping the slate clean. It's good to feel again...

I'M A M.I.L.F

2006-09-12T08:53:00.000-04:00

Apparently ...I have reached M.I.L.F status in several young minds. I am told, this is an "honor" ...that I should somehow take satisfaction in knowing that, even at 30, I am still "a hottie" to ...slightly younger men. In this case, it happens to be 15 year old boys. GOODNESS GRACIOUS! I hardly think it an honor ..I'm old enough to be their momma! Somehow, just the thought of it all makes me feel like a "phile".... **cringes** AND OLD! IT MAKES ME FEEL OLD!

So ...Because I am the coolest mom EVAH (it's true!) *WINK* I took my daughter and 3 friends to one of the biggest concerts of the year (in our area -which is, I'm sure, considerably smaller than yours!) I was really (secretly, of course!) kind of excited about going. 12 Bands were performing through out the day and I really did like some of them (3 Days Grace Rocks Hardcore!) Though I would never let the kids see my excitement! Let me just say ...I had NO IDEA what I was getting into ...and I am left VERY MUCH AFFECTED! If you have not been to a rock concert recently and/or have children attending them -YOU NEED TO SEE THIS! It was like a big giant VIOLENT ORGY! I am not sure I have the words to convey exactly what I witnessed Sat. night.

I like to think that I am ..somewhat ...experienced... (PEOPLE -PLEASE -I've seen a lot in my time!!) I walk a fine line with my daughter. I try to give her "just enough" freedom and I really want her to be able to do everything she wants to do. (This usually involves me tagging behind her everywhere she goes! hee hee hee) I am just kind of a "paranoid polly" and have some (ok HUGE) safety concerns. ..I'm pretty sure I couldn't do without her, so I do my best to protect her. Generally my imaginiation runs rampant ...and I always envision "worse case scenerio" -in everything that has to do with my girl. Usually ...things are never as bad as I make them out to be... but ...I'M PRETTY SURE I COULD'VE NEVER MADE THIS CONCERT WORSE THAN IT WAS!

I'm not sure if I'm growing up and viewing things a little differently ...or if they are really that bad... but I watched 6 stretchers bring out teenagers that were supposedly "just having a good time" at a concert. Keep in mind, this concert was on the riverfront -open field, no seating -mosh pits... YES YOU HEARD -MOSH PITS. ...let me clarify here, these are not the old school mosh pits we goofed off in and jumped around in acting like retards -these are VIOLENT PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH AND KNOCK YOUR ARSE DOWN PITS! Scary, scary!! And crowd surfing ...I knew that was something that happened in Calif., but never seen it done in KY -and that's another thing... maybe city kids can crowd surf with style ...but keep in mind ...kids in the country do everything a little different ..these are big ol' boys with big ol' muscles ..I saw little girls tossed in the air like rag-dolls ...some flew ..some fell ...some were caught -others trampled (hence the stretchers!!) The girls that weren't crowd surfing were on boys shoulders flashing their goodies and making out with friends -GIRL FRIENDS!! ...stay with me -12 year old girls, topless and tounging their friends -DISTURBING.

I was really scared -once i'd just reached my limit -which came after like 7 hours of stalking, texting and calling the children (just trying to keep up with everyone) I entered the mosh pit. I ...just needed to see all the kids together ..WITH ME. Re-evaluate the situation, treat any obvious wounds/broken bones.. This is when I pass a group of boys who surround me and chant "MILF, MILF, MILF" while stomping their feet and raising their fists in the air. HOW HUMILIATING! I AM A M.I.L.F

Misplaced Motivation...

2006-09-07T16:08:00.000-04:00

I think ...I have misplaced my motivation somewhere. ...We are all moved in to new house (Thanks to Hot Cop! Yes ..It's true ...he's been to Ky twice now) but ..all our stuff is shoved into the garage like a bunch of mexicans in an efficiency apartment. Last night I started drinking just to forget ...just so I wouldn't have to deal with it! (then hot cop called, and I didn't care about latinos in garage anymore!) ...I do have to lay blame on roomie for that! HELLO! (own your part) It was a pretty fun night -I must admit. We needed a serious "pow-wow".

R.B. came home pretty bewildered after making appt with lawyer. ...It's true ..just because we're happier without husbands, doesn't mean we want a divorce looming over us (i know. i've had 2 **crosses fingers/hopes hot cop never reads**) She looked like a lost little girl sitting indian style in the kitchen floor ...we bared our souls, each of us leaned against our own set of cabinets, cutting limes in the floor, empty smirnoff bottles all around. LOL - I'm pretty sure we are the biggest losers on the block. ...but after the first six we laughed like high school girls pranking cute teenage boys on the phone. ...and of course, things always end up with us sneaking out back to play "hide and smoke" hoping to burn a whole marlboro down before the children notice we're gone.

Speaking of "gone" ...just so you know R.B. ...I looked for you for 15 mins outside, barefoot, in the dark shed, out by the wood line and under your car before I found you passed out in the bed ...like the least likely place I would've looked. Next time... phone a friend! I was worried!!!

HOLD MY HAND..

2006-09-05T11:04:00.000-04:00

It's been a memorable week... R.B. and I are completely moved into new house and a chapter of her life closed forever. We have taken on a substantial payment every month on new place (which is a little scary -totally going to have some serious issues when fall clothes come out -No $$$ **makes really sad face**) And Hot Cop has been to Ky twice -in one week.... **sighes**

I don't really think I thought about what would happen if I ever found him again (you'd think that 10 years would give a person enough time to think things thru!) It's been ...overwhelming. I'm pretty sure I've had every emotion possible this week. When I initially emailed him, I never expected things would play out the way they have. He came to visit just a few days after we re-connected. Plans were ..just for lunch and ended up staying thru next night. -We have so much to catch up on. I enjoy talking to him and want to know everything about him ...he has great conversation skills and is very well mannered. I am quite impressed of the man he has grown into. We were just kids back then.

His first visit he spent the night in hotel in town -because HELLO -paranoid polly can't trust the man she's stalked since she was 20 years old! I'm getting surprisingly comfortable around him ...it almost seems as if no time at all has past. He came back to Ky sat. night -after working extremly long shift (by my standard ..which is probably lower than some!! LOL) to help us pack and move. After 5 hour drive he arrived at 330 am. I was still awake packing but extremely just ..exhausted. We chatted awhile ..and when it was time for bed ..I just wanted him with me. We both slept with clothes on ...I, under the covers ..he atop them. We had amazing conversation once again. There is no pressure for more from him. ...and he held my hand. He held my hand till I was fast asleep. His hand in mine, right there in that instant. ...said more than all of our conversations combined. Past and present. ...It was all that needed to be said.

MIRROR MIRROR IN THE CAR...

2006-09-05T09:03:00.000-04:00

Mirror mirror in the car -When touched by light can set a fire! ...So I'm totally p***ed off today. Sunday was the big move. R.B's house sold and since we're like THE GREATEST ROOMIES EVAH we decided to rent another place together (umm HELLO -let me just stop and say VERY CUTE HOUSE! KUDOS TO R.B. for Searching relentlessly as I sat back and supped the Gay!) -ok ..back on track. ...So I'm in this convoy of trucks (because we avoided renting uhaul to save money to buy shoes) and I'm chattering away to R.B. about "chicago" and really just generally not paying attention to anything around me and then I see smoke billowing out from my passenger seat ...and it's totally smelling like burnt rubber... I'm flipping losing it because I have no idea whats causing this fire... I mean really ..stop and relate ...I'm driving, in my car ..and it's catching fire for no reason at all ..just fire appears! Im totally expecting the worst ...as history proves ...if an explosion is going to happen ...it's going to be right-smack-dab in the middle of my world. ...So ..I'm on the phone explaining (fairly loud and chaotically) that my car is on fire and I'm just not knowing why... Then the light comes on ...or maybe more of a reflection from the mirror in my passenger seat ...THAT'S IT! This is no joke ..the light from the suns reflection in the mirrow sat my headliner on fire... and I sat there like a dumb a** and watched it melt! So ..I'm just wondering now ...can this be considered actual "fire damage" ..and what's my deductible on that?

This ones out of the park...

2006-08-30T11:35:00.000-04:00

So. To Catch Everyone up. I'm posting a couple of emails to/from Hot Cop ((yes.. you heard right Hot COP! hee hee hee) Tell me ...what do you think??

FRom Him:

Ok, so I just finished reading the many blogs of Strawberry Shortcake and all i can say is ... WOW. It was like a little slice of your life, I feel like I'm kinda cheating you without having something similar for you to peruse at your convenience. Um, you had me laughing my azz off for the most part, and not to sound like a silly sally but some of things you went through in the last few years had me a little misty eyed, it's ok to admit it it doesn't mean I'm a girl, and if anyone thinks it does let me at em I;ll knock em on their arse. Just joking its ok for guys to have feelings too,my mama said so ). All right Sassy McFeisty, yeah you, you've had me stumbling around like an imbecile with this stupid grin ( which I still won't admit that I smile when other people aren't around, nope I won't you can't make me) for a couple of days now, and as much as I hate to admit it, I like it. I really don't think it's just the nostalgia of days gone by, I find myself just wanting to talk to you all the time, tell you all about me,,, it's kinda scary cause that's not me, I haven't clicked with someone like this since....well .....you, and it's not the same kinda click we had back then; Us being kids and feeling from the moment I stared into your eyes that I needed you, not like you need an umbrella if it's raining or a partner for a old fashioned sack race, but like..... we need the blood that races through us just so our hearts can beat, like you NEED that great gasp of air when you break the surface of the water after thinking you wouldn't make it... so many words I can't even begin to attempt. I guess the closest I could come was back then, being with you, joking with you , loving you just made me feel complete. This isn't to sound sappy or like I'm trying to lay a line on you, but I really have missed you. and it took my hearing your voice to realize how much. Even though it was a short time in the scheme of things that we were together I really hope you understand that you've been a part of my life since then and will be until the day I die, come what may whether we are just friends, acquaintances or where life will lead us. I really did think I could protect you and **daughtersname**, make you happy, build a life together, save you from the baddies. I want you to know that if I had known then that it would just have taken proving to you that I had a plan and that you two would never have to do without, I would have done anything. Looking back on it through the eyes and experiences of an adult, all I can think is how naive I must have been to think that Love is all that really matters, it's a nice ideal but reality can be much harsher . I never had to lose you two to realize what I'd had, I knew what I had, and what I lost. The good news is that I don't think I really had any idea at the time of what a relationship, a partnership really consisted of, I was too lost in thinking that I could save you, be you knight in shining armor. I'd much rather have it this way, looking back on it, all the goods and one or two bads, then if we had forced ourselves back then to try to make it work out, ended up hating each other and never gotten this chance to be friends again. The click I'm feeling now is ...hmm how to describe it....like, as stupid as this sounds, almost no time has passed. I'm not saying romantically, but like friends that haven't seen each other in a while and they just start back their conversation from where they left off. I feel like when I'm talking to you I'm just filling in the blanks, not trying to tell someone new who I am, but more like just telling someone who knows me what I've been up too. It's so surreal, I'm nervous, anxious, scared, excited. curious, worried, hopeful and all the other seven million little dwarfs including dopey). I've spent so long building up my persona of indifference, my wall of self-preservation that talking to you, someone who knows the core of me, what I was and still am for the most part, it feels , just natural. Ok enough of this feelings crap, letting you see the man behind the curtain a little too much, next thing you'll want to know how to get home to Kansas. Bad joke I know, but I have to keep you relaxed, even if it's just to say " Boy, you're Stupid" , as long as I made you laugh a bit I'm doing my job. Courtney being 15 just blows me away, until we talked she was forever trapped in time in my mind. That little 3 year old girl who's daddy I wanted so desperately to be. You know better then me what a smart little cookie she always was, the questions that little girl could come up with, and you better have a answer that made sense to her or you would get no peace, I really regret not seeing her grow up. Heh talking to her on the phone when I called you earlier was probably the most nervous I've been in a long time, like a long tailed cat in a room of rocking chairs. She sounded so smart, then with the whole 15 year old thing, and you know we old people just can't understand what they are going through; I was so afraid I'd say something stupid, I probably did. Sometimes I think I keep these size 13s stuck to the heel in my mouth. I just thought about something, didn't we have to break into the apartment one time or was it something we did all the time through the bedroom window, like we lost the key or something, I don't know exactly it was a wandering thought that jumped d in there. BTW I can tend to be a bit of an insomniac, I don't know if I mentioned that, I don't so much fall asleep as pass out ) And on that note I think I'll be going to sleep now its about 414am CST so you should be getting up for work soon. Hopefully you slept well and your toddys let you drift off quickly, nice and relaxed. I'll be working one of my side jobs at noon CST ( the bank) before I go to work at 4pm on the street so I need to be up in about 5 or 6 hrs, maybe try and hit the gym for a run well see how that goes. Have a great day at work darlin, I really am loving getting to know you (again).

I don't wax poetic, I wax pathetic. )

signed **boy**

P.S. I don't know why but I'm driven by this overwhelming urge that I want to kiss you, and that makes me nervous. Would you like the way I kiss now? Do I even remember how you like to be kissed, is it different now? Would you look me in the eyes just before our lips touch as I gently tilt your chin with my fingers? Would I be the one trapped in your eyes? Would just hugging you to my chest tightly and kissing your forehead send sparks through me?
Sorry I went off track there I get a little loopy when I'm tired. I'm glad you found me. The timing of this, the coincidences, how comfortable I am talking to you, this attraction I'm feeling for you again makes me want to throw caution to the wind. Do people get a second chance in life? I don't know. Is this a second chance? HEH Ok that I really don't know. I do know I want to see you , in person, again....soon.

My Response:

you make my head dizzy! ..and just when i think the storm is settling the waves rock my boat again! I liked the mail I got this morn! ... ...so sincere.. open ...vulnerable ..way to put yourself out there! LOL! Genuine as always;)

When I think of us (before) i remember being such a kid ...and just so scared of the unknown ..scared you were leaving and scared to let myself go with you... scared of the unknown, where you would take me ...and as pathetic as my life was ...i knew what to expect ...I didn't know where u were going. ...and now (today) here I am ..an adult ..and scared again.

How ((WHY!!)) did we ever find each other again... Should we meet? Should we not?? Should we just get "re-aquainted" here? So many thoughts go thru my head. I play out different scenarios ..just like I did 8 years ago ..how would it be when we finally met again? I hadn't toyed with this idea in so long... ...and now, having had the experiences I have... what do I do with the situation in front of me? What do we do? Do you think we are clicking now? Or caught up in "all the clicks" we felt before? I haven't felt this excited in forever... thought I was way to old for this *wink* ...and after you live a little and experience SO MUCH ..it's hard to get excited over to much these days! You know?

I feel like moving to fast could be a mistake. ... and we could sabotage ourselves ..again. I'm hesitant to meet and at the same time ..it's all I want. This is huge ...for me ...I think you feel some of the same things that I do ..it's scary. Overwhelming. And we've "known each other" less than a week.

...At one time, I knew if I could just find you and you could see who I turned out to be ...you would fall in love with me all over again ..and we would pick up where we left off and it would be just like before ..only a trillion times better ..because I was better ..because I was capable of giving and caring ..and not always taking ..I wanted you to see that I cook and clean and take care of **daughter** and make real money working a real job. I wanted to go to church together and pray together and show you the contentment that I found there. ..I wanted you to be able to show me to your friends and family and be proud of me ..not like before. ...and now ...now that I've found you ..now I'm grown up and know that it just doesn't work that way. But the things that I feel today suggest otherwise. ..this whole situation defies everything that I know.

HEY BATTER BATTER!

2006-08-28T10:43:00.000-04:00

Life can throw some awesome curve balls -PITCHER'S DEFINITELY GOT A BIG BUTT IN THIS CASE!! I don't even know where to start ..or what to say... I'm afraid ramble is the best you'll get here.

When I was 19 ...I wasn't the awesome person I am today ((I KNOW! IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE!!)) I was pretty well lost, broken... and ...hopeless. I was a single mom trying to support a child on my own... and was working in ...lets say not the most "reputable place".

Then came **boy** ...beautiful boy. Anything and everything a girl could ever want **boy** It was a whirlwind relationship. Instant attraction, instant friends ..he made everything "OKAY" -A-OK *wink* I just can't find the words to say how I felt about him... I'm not sure there are enough words and they could never be powerful or descriptive enough to express how my heart felt. There was no way on earth I deserved someone like him at the time, but he loved me regardless -unconditionally. ...But I was a kid and he was a "military man" ....he was leaving and I was scared. Scared to love him and scared to leave with him. I didn't know where he was going... My life here was pretty pathetic ..but I knew what to expect. ~In the end ...I turned out to be pretty rotton to him (again -there are no words to fully describe just how terrible and hurtful I was to him) ...things ended kind of abruptly. He came to see me once before he left for home. I was 19 and newly diagnosed with breast cancer. We said our goodbyes and never spoke again.

I searched for him, extensively, at various times ...spent to much money for a girl with my income -enlisting help from different agencies! ..but to no avail. He was gone ..and I was sad.

Here we are, 10 years later and by shear luck -last week I finally located this stealthy stud;)

THIRSTY THURSDAY...

2006-08-25T09:51:00.000-04:00

Definitely had a good time hanging with my girls last night! Sipping (slurping!) margaritas and catching up... Mean muggin Marcus (You know I love you Son -Just get a goal and take control of your life!!) Coco's EXPENSIVE! You better have a PLAN!

C0Co (my 15 y.o.) now has a 17 y.o "suiter" **looks very concerned** I know she has to grow up and that's ok with me... It's the hurt and disappointment we experience as adults that I want to keep her from. She's so beautiful ...with a rockstar personality to boot;) Definitely has everything going for her. Excellent grades and ambition too. But I worry love will blind-side her. She's too much like her momma **shakes head** and a strong will to match. Likes those bad boys toooo much!!

I wish parenting came with an instruction manual.. It's pretty scary -the one thing you definitely only get 1 shot at and it's something you have to "wing" **looks confused** ...I really try to relate and remember ...we walk a fine line with each other, that's for sure. Making a conscious effort to pick and choose our battles. She's my girl and my best good friend. The only thing that keeps me going somedays. I just want so much for her to see the decisions she makes today absolutely affect the life she will have in 5 years. I try to teach her to think about her past, where she's come from and her future ...and not live so much in the here and now (like her mom). I know what she wants in life and I want to help her get them. I just know how important it is to make responsible choices (and have a plan) early on. I don't want to be the heavy that holds her back from everything she wants to do -just maybe the limo driver that takes her to the red carpet.

Time...

2006-08-24T11:25:00.000-04:00

Does your past ever haunt you? Is there that one thing that eats your insides year after year and hurts your heart to think about. The one thing you want to go back and change.. and pray to God there is opportunity for a 'do-over' like when we were kids? I have a whole time span- A whole diffent person exists in me ..that I don't even know anymore. -I can't elaborate today... but am thankful I may have a chance to correct at least a portion of my life and finally make apologies that are ...long overdue.

BE NOT FILLED BY THE FRUIT OF THE VINE....

2006-08-22T10:57:00.000-04:00

So ...I definitely think the Lord is trying to tell me something. I have heard the following verse THREE times this week in different circles:

"Be not filled by the fruit of the vine, but be filled by the Holy Spirit"

The 3rd time I heard it I was minding my own business, in my own pew, thinking of my own achey belly and wishing the preacher would "wrap it up" so I could be FILLED WITH A ROAST BEEF SANDWICH AT ARBYS!!

I nearly fell off my seat! My head flipped around like the exorcist ....I wanted to shake my fists in the air and yell! "ALL RIGHT ALREADY I HEAR YOU!!!!!"

To make matters worse, much worse... His next sentence was "have you ever been drunk OR have you ever SEEN a drunk" ...that's when my loving 15 y.o. daughter looks over at me and says "hmmp" in a snooty teenage "im better than you are" sort of way. ...which ...would not been near as bad on the back row ...but i'm pretty sure every holy roller in the place saw us on the 2ND ROW!!! I wanted to melt...

Am I really that bad?? I don't feel like I'm too out of control! I just like to have a little toddy every now and again and again and again and again (sorry lost my train of thought.) I mean ..I don't forget her at school for days on end ...I don't hide my MOUNT GAY RUM in the light fixtures or pass out during important events ...actually ..Im pretty sure my family would rather I pass out ...I'm pretty sure "the passing out thing" is self-defense ...preservation of ones own reputation ...but for whatever reason ...my body forgets to shut down **looks embarrassed** I mean ..I'm among family and friends at the lake ...so whats a little dancing on the picnic table hurt anyway?

What kind of drunk are you? Happy, silly, sad? -Tell me your most embarrasing story!!

2006-08-03T10:53:00.000-04:00

While SS is away on "business" in the cheese state, I figure I should come up with something to post so this is what I came up with...

TEN THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS

1. I am a single mother of 2
2. I live with my best good friend in the whole world
3. She takes care of the laundry...and my 3 y/o when I am about to kill her
4. My son is now a....SOPHMORE
5. I'm driving a sporty Maxima...not the SUV of death
6. The health of both of my grandparents is fading fast...they now require contant care
7. This breaks my heart and makes me want to slow down more to take care of them
8. I sold my house, my home of 8 freakin' years
9. I still have nowhere to live and have 30 days to figure it out
10.I know that I will not be alone (see # 2) and this makes me happier than she knows

Clear as a bell

2006-07-31T11:10:00.000-04:00

I am sort of still spinning from my totally eventful weekend. I think the realization of my impending divorce hit me like a ton of bricks last week. A big thanks to SS and Becka for reminding me that this week would be SIX months of separation for me. Six long months and no real strides made either way...we were in a holding pattern. I was suffering, my kids were suffering and their was no real end in sight Until this weekend...

Almost-Ex picked up the kids Saturday afternoon as usual, he was keeping them for the night. I didn't have any real plans for the weekend but had been talking with WAY TOO CUTE firefighter for about a week and he has been "trying" to talk to me longer...I always resisted, hoping things would work out with my marriage. I actually even thought about setting him up with SS...until her and hot wake board boy hooked up again. He is just too nice of a guy and an excellent conversationalist. We can spend hours talking about anything and everything or we can just sit in total silence and enjoy the tune on the radio.

...anyway, got sidetracked a little. :) After spending the day on the lake with FF, and having a wonderful time...I awaited the call from kids saying they were on their way home. Of course, Almost-Ex got on the phone and asked 20 questions. When I told him I was with "a few people," he got the idea and of course was not happy. I mean, he could date and see whomever he chooses, but it's a different story with me, right? What followed after his initital anger is the best part of the story (aside from the sweet little goodbye kiss from FF) we actually TALKED! No yelling, arguing or blaming...we just opened up and let it all go. It was such a moment of clarity for me...he was actually "relieved" that I had been honest with him about my boating date. I think it alleviated some of the guilt he has been holding for doing whatever he has been up to.

Mainly I think we realized that we are great parents...we are NOT a great couple and both of us only wants the best for the other one but the kids are first and foremost our priority. They will be happy if we are happy...even if it's not with each other.

So, today is the first day of my new life (old me is back, I'm happy to report)...and I am ready to take on the world!

WHITE TRASH FLEA BAG....

2006-07-26T09:32:00.000-04:00

What I am about to say can NEVER leave this room. **looks around for eves-droppers** MY GRANDMA HAS FLEAS... **looks embarrassed** AND I'M MAD AS HELL. How did this happen. I feel like we are instant WHITE TRASH FLEA BAGS!

My grandma is ...more than eccentric ...she's downright ODD. God love'er ...and I LOVE HER! She's mean and old and cranky and crabby and I talk to her every morning at 630 -religiously, without fail. EVEN WHEN I'M RUNNING LATE. The best memories of my childhood always involve her. I LOVE HER! But her house ...oh gawsh ..needs to be condemned. And she will not let you touch anything, fix anything or clean up ANYTHING. She's a pack rat, saves EVERYTHING ...including every daily paper from 1972 to today. Heres where the story gets interesting.

Yesterday my grandma had surgery on her eyes. I wasn't able to go, but called my sister to check and make sure everything was going ok. This is when **sister** tells me that gran is sitting in the Dr. office with fleas all over her and the children are flipping out over the fleas, my dad is sitting in a chair (IN THE OFFICE) SNORING! And my sister is melting in her chair dying to be invisible ...As she dutifully picks fleas off of my grandmothers face. She said "I felt like a monkey picking fleas off my monkey-ma".

So, as you can imagine, I sat at my desk fuming ...just mad as hell ...all afternoon. By 430 I WAS LIVID! Her house has to be cleaned and fleas exterminated. After work, I drove to the store. Took hold of the cart with sheer determination, walked thru the store with a vengence, placing the following items in my cart:

gasoline container
box of matches
bleach
garbage bags
AND 18 FLEA BOMBS

They surely reported me for suspicious behavior.

So I drive to grans ..just happen to have some boxers and tank top in the car -change out of my work clothes into WORK clothes ..mind you -I have no tennis shoes so I'm still wearing my heels from work to WORK in ...and ..just snap. All of those emotions ..anger, hate, hurt, embarrasement, love (for her), loath (for dad because he WON'T DO ANYTHING) ...It all came out. I'm standing there in boxers, a tank and high heels ..tears streaming down my face, anger in my heart, fleas biting my legs and matches in hand. Things are really out of control.

I was throwing newspapers from 20 years ago into a fiery pit of hell. Here's where the gasoline comes into play. ...I've never actually USED gasoline as firestarter ..but I HAVE seen it done. Try pouring a tank of gasoline on papers already burning while standing on uneven creek rock in 3" heels. KA-BOOM! That stuff can knock you off your rocker! -or just rocks in my case. I nearly bbq'd my whole being!! I'm already MAD AS HELL ...and now I'm really mad. I'm cussing ..just fuming!! Tossing and Burning ..fighting the fleas off with every step. Throwing my hands up in the air and shaking my fists ..yelling out loud to no one. I'm sure it was commical.

When I was done I was covered in bites and fleas and I'm sure the babies will hatch in a couple of days ..there was no way I was getting in my truck and I couldnt go in the house (I'd set off 18 flea bombs) ...so I strip down stark naked in the backyard and commence to washing myself down with the water hose. I scrub and cuss and scrub and cuss some more and try to scrub enough to wash off the mad and cuss enough that the hate leaves my heart... I am a white trash flea bag...

Queens of Memphis...

2006-07-21T07:52:00.000-04:00

7 Girls, 2 Cars and 9 bottles of Rum=One Kick A** Road Trip! Memphis will never be the same! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME! I guess, living in small town KY makes me oblivious to the happenings of the big city life sometimes. Things are a lot different out there and when in memphis -it's a all at your fingertips.

We started on our journey Sat. morn- Only after my little sis blew up the cell phones to alert everyone it was the butt crack of dawn so we should get started... Did she mean drinking or driving??? Not sure -so I poured a glass on the run and hopped in. 8am -LET THE DRINKING BEGIN! Memphis is alot further than I thought ...took 2 bottles to get us there! After missing our exit, fighting one way streets and turning down crack we checked into "Holiday Select" -7 girls, one night = 2 carts full of luggage and 3 bell boys carrying cases of Mich Lite and Mount Gay Rum. Have you ever seen 7 drunk girls all get ready at the same time in one bathroom -better yet ...sharing 2 mirrors?? Ask the Peabody -they did;) I'm sure every room with their shades open send out Kudos to Kitty for the Fried Eggs Served Sunny Side up!

Shoes- Definitely givin' shouts out to our cool shoes -pictures must be posted eventually! And removed promptly ((never can be too careful)) Shoes like that are way to hot to just be posting pics anywhere!

Memphis was fun. ...but I think I could have fun with those girls in a cold dark basement. Life is what you make it wherever you are. And my girls know what it's about... PARTYING LIKE ROCKSTARS EVERY CHANCE YOU GET!

PORTION CONTROL...

2006-07-06T09:53:00.000-04:00

LOL -this morning as I was trying to stretch over my belly to shave my legs I realized I need: PORTION CONTROL.

So being in the mood that I am in today ...I've came up with my own rendition of Princes' pop song PU**Y CONTROL. -It's not quite finished so feel free to chime in anytime. When I make big I'll take you all with me;)

So here goes:

Good morning fatty patties –Cows and Heifers all right
This is your cook with back fat and I’m here with food you’ll like
With potatos that will soon be classic
And brisket, you already know
No vegetables and no broccoli
Just a little “portion control”

Ahhhh …Portion Control Oh oh

Our story begins in a bedroom
Fat girl hides bologna in bed
A tisket A tasket junk in her basket
Guzzles down 6 big reds

That's just where we are today. My challenge to you would be to come up with the next verse!

Exhausted

2006-06-30T13:20:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty well sure I have taken "sleep deprivation" to a whole new level this week... Is it really possible to go so strong with so little sleep? We have run-it-ragged this week and 4 days of river fun, sun and apple martinis is sounding more like an all-inclusive Keys Resort vacation!

I'm so tired now that Mon & Tuesday are a little blurry, but I'm sure it all went straight to hell on Wednesday. R.B. and I started painting the living room at 6:30pm ...right after work. The yellow paint we chose, once on the wall, had a shock factor of ..oh ....10! -Ranked right up there with steamy poo on the stairs Tuesday ...Yeah ...B-A-D! At 10 o'clock we were at walmart picking new colors ...we had to re-paint the whole living room TWICE! Finished about 1:45, was asleep by 1:46 and woke up at 5:30 to come back to work. However, the "family room" is a very nice "happy yellow" now.

Yesterday was "Thirsty Thursday" ...Need I say More. Thanks Dirtee!

-I'm totally running on EMPTY today! And a walking, talking fashion faux paus ...Somehow, after 4 hours sleep, I thought it might be ok to wear sweats and heels to work -LOL! ..they don't REALLY look like your typical everyday sweats ..but that's what they are!! ...I realized what a dumb a-ess-ess I look like after I had my 4 cups of coffee!

STOOLS -N- STAIRS

2006-06-29T09:29:00.000-04:00

The Gods must be …pissed off as hell! No REALLY! I’m pretty sure they’re plotting against me! My Karma has been …all “mucked up” lately and life in general …fairly traumatizing!

I work in a city with a large number of "vagrants" …Just walking the street on a day to day basis. Very colorful people …I don’t know where they come from or where they go …they’re just here. There’s a rumor that Louisville buses them over in the morning to keep them off their streets during daylight hours ((who comes up with this stuff)) None the less, they’re here. No- I mean like RIGHT HERE! Yesterday one just happened to find his way into my office -frantically seeking out "facilities" -I'm usually pretty nice, but this guy took me by surprise and he had CRAZY IN HIS EYES! I told him we did not have a public restroom …I know that’s bad ..but he scared me! I just wanted him to go away! I suggested he may try downstairs. But, I’m thinking now maybe he thought I said “use the stairs” He walked straight out and chose to defecate in our hallway on the stairs. RIGHT THERE ON THE FREAKING STAIRS PEOPLE! ...It was B-A-D! -I just can't imagine a grown man pulling his pants down and squatting on the stairs **shakes head in disbelief**

Now, I’ve ran this over and over in my head and tried to validate this mans behavior …and I just can’t. Even if the urge just over-took you and there was no where to go …any normal person would have soiled themselves! Not popped a squat on someone steps …He did that out of shear MEAN-NESS!

I'm anxious to hear though... Because it's totally a pride issue ...There is NO WAY I could "GO" in a wide open, no privacy, public place. ..but how about you ...do you "pop the squat" or "panty poop"

Smokey and The Bandit...

2006-06-26T15:59:00.000-04:00

As you know R.B. and I have just recently pooled our resources and are now living under the same roof -the same roof as two teenagers that is! I guess somewhere along the way we lost all parental control and now our Holy Rollin' teenagers (because we taught them sooo well) now control us. -Have you ever tried to sneak out for a date with the "spy kids" on patrol -IT AIN'T EASY FOLKS! ...Not to mention when R.B's Husband was serving time over seas she felt compelled to have alarms installed (that alert anytime ANY door or window feels a slight breeze) and boobie trapped the whole house with motion detectors.

...let me back up. A week ago R.B. scored us a great date with two sailor boys who picked us up on their boat and wisked us away to this upscale restaurant on the river. After dinner (and many drinks) I suddenly had an urge for a cigarette -it's no secret I enjoy a good smoke just as much as the next smelly redneck -However, since none of us were avid smokers this proved to be most challenging. At some point our waitress offered up a "clove cigarette". -Which I now commonly refer to as the GREATEST CIGARETTE EVER! ~Djarum~

After much researching, driving and calling EVERY "SMOKE SHOP" In a 90 mile radius I scored a pack of these Djarum delights. My anxiety rose with every hour that passed, for the plan was to share my treasures with R.B. that very evening.

Project: Smokin' in the girls room FOILED AGAIN! The smokes were in the car, the lighter in my purse and the children on my case. UGGGH! ...Finally we made our break -out the back door. One kid in the shower and one on the phone. (where was the bb?) Like crack addicts huddled around a trash can we stood at the side of the house -the tension was to high -I couldn't light the match. I felt like a juvi again ...and what's even funnier is the couple across the street stretching their necks to see just what our secret was all about. -Two grown women sneaking to smoke. Can you imagine?

What's your guilty pleasure?

I'll Be Back!

2006-06-14T14:53:00.000-04:00

So alot has changed in a short short time. My relationship with the rockstar ..officially over ...my relationship with hot wakeboarding boy ...ummm ...mostly over ..but the river does cause you to do some silly things ((more on that later this summer)) **looks open minded** I am, after 9 months of employment at a cabinet concentration camp, back to work at **previous job** What can I say ...they totally woo'd me;) ...and the biggest, GREATEST, turn of events is that R.B. and I have decided to combine forces and moved all of my Grandmas chickens, syrup pourers and crystal salt spoons in with her collection of Dora "Can't do With-out-Ables" ...It's totally great! We have 3 bedrooms and 3 children ...then there's us ...the displaced (but able to afford cute shoes now!) moms! Stay tuned for some serious blogging! I have much to tell and the cabinet nazi's have held my typing fingers hostage for way to long!! **sips wine** I'm just getting started!

MAIL CALL!!

2005-09-15T15:13:00.000-04:00

I LOVE MAIL (AND MALE) ((AND MELL!)) Mostly today ..I just love mail! I think I have an odd obsession ..and ..I'm not sure other people my age get this excited at the sight of their mail box. It's like every day, any day ...a secret surprise could be there to meet and greet and make me smile after a long day at work. Ads, junk mail, catalogs, special offers, scams, letters from gran or an old friend ...I LOVE MAIL!

I drive an hour home everyday. And I love topping the hill and seeing my dingy old rusted up mailbox. It absolutely raises my adrenaline everytime! ...laugh all you want. It's great! and it never fails!

I guess it started when I was little. I have a pretty big loving family ..and EVERYONE sent me special surprises! Especially my Gran. ...I still get letters from her at least once a week! Sometimes they don't come till Thursday ..I never know when they will be there ..just that they will be there ..I find myself getting "antsy" about Wed. if I haven't received my "nanny note". Sometimes, when I'm lucky, (and I've been being good!) She still sends me dollars! Which I find odd, at 30, but cute! Not a whole lot ..but face it ...you don't expect your grandma to give you money anymore ..and even if it IS just $5. IT'S EXCITING!

I wonder if anyone will send my daughter mail. -or if it will be a thing of the past by the time she is my age. It makes me sad. ...I would like to encourage everyone to sit down and write a real letter to someone you love ..and if it won't break ya -throw in $5. It will make them smile;)

Surprisingly ...Happy

2005-09-12T11:53:00.000-04:00

For a single, unemployed mother of one... I SURE AM HAPPY! It seems like the worlds just crashing around my wine glass and I take another sip and take it all in. As you well know ...I have resigned my position at the monastary ((very quite office with very quite boys)) My last day was to be Friday ...but after meeting with head monk ...I have decided to stay until another opportunity is presented -to either side. ...Meaning ...when I get a high paying cush job I'll leave and if they find a hot stripper to take my place before then ...I'll leave. Either way ...my days here are numbered. ...and I find myself ...surprisingly happy.

On a positive note, I have had 3 interviews with, what i feel like, is a pretty good company to work for. My last interview was with the Vice Pres. of Operations.. so ..it sounds hopeful. ...I still keep toying with the idea of selling Mary Kay products (on the side-not as sole income). I just uumm ...feel kind of funny about "peddling beauty products".

Hot wakeboardining boy is ...well ...still hott. However, after all this time no feelings have matured. My head says he's perfect ..my heart says he's not fun (abusive) rockstar who has, unfortunately, captured my heart forever. ...I do have one dilemma. Wakeboard boy and I really enjoy time spent. There's no ill feelings or arguments ...but no future either. I almost think he has grown stagnant with this as well and I would like to make him happy again ...do I "break up" -would that make things better? ...Cause I sure don't want to make them worse. ..He is my brother-in-laws (really good) friend (who's always around) ..so I don't want to have any uncomformalities there. How do I do this with taste? I really hate it ...cause ..you know ...I love him (in a general love type way -though would never ever say ..you know ..that kind of love) ..and I love my brother in law. I care about everyones "feelings" ...I just don't think this is a viable "relationship" for either of us. ...and I think it will make things more awkward for everyone if we continue seeing each other ..just for the sake of seeing each other ..and that we don't have anyone else TO SEE! **sips more wine**

I have $13 in my checking account **finishes glass** and that has to last me until friday (keep in mind I drive 100 miles a day -$13 will last thru the evening) I have $13 because I spent the rest of it on a hotel room and pizza and ...more wine. OH! and a very sexy saucy shirt to wear! ...I just hadn't been out with the girls in so long. I had a really good time ...and even today ...it still seems worth it. **counts change in desk drawer** I spent the most of this weekend recovering from our "Friday Fiesta" ..our hotel was right across from the club(s) and so that in itself was more than enough excuse to become "over-inebriated". I vaguely remember "swaying" across the street trying NOT TO LOOK DRUNK ...BUT "SOPHISTICATED" because I had a hotel room (while cops laughed so hard they couldn't arrest me) with "scutt toes" (due to dirty dance floor) missing half my "very hot outfit" (tequila makes my clothes come off) and crying because someone farted in my room ..which set the smoke alarm off causing 3 very "frenzied drunk girls" to cry/laugh hysterically. I called everyone I know at 4 am to tell them I wanted a fried balongna sandwich ..and telling the soldiers staying next door that they didn't stand a chance ...cause "they just didn't know what ky girls like" "...Ky girls like fried bologna" **still trying to look sophisticated** HA! At some point a boy I've met once in my life (but only briefly) ...ended up at my hotel room with 1 fried bologna sandwich and nothing to drink it down with. I'm still confused about how he ended up there -and why he handed me this sandwich and left. ..though ..I was very greatful. Now if you can imagine how one girl with cotton mouth and 4 bites of bologna sandwich tries to look *sophisticated* as she waves from her balcony yelling "thank you- very kind of you" and chokes and has to spit over the railing looks ..than you can imagine me at the end of the night.

I remain ..surprisingly ...happy

ON BEING IRRESPONSIBLE...

2005-08-26T12:23:00.000-04:00

I QUIT MY JOB TODAY ...I CAN'T BELIEVE I QUIT MY JOB. THIS HAS TO BE THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE THING I'VE EVER DONE. WHAT KIND OF SINGLE MOM QUITS HER JOB BEFORE SHE HAS ANOTHER ONE. ...I JUST FIGURED EVERYTHING ELSE WAS FALLING APART ..WHY NOT QUIT MY JOB WHILE I WAS AT IT. IT'S OFFICIAL FOLKS ..THE BREAKDOWN IS IN FULL SWING:

Exit Interview (email from boss):

I consider this note to me a resignation of your position.

Just so we are clear, my job here is not to make you feel warm and welcome, my first job here is to operate this business profitably.
I do not dislike you in any way, nor feel that you do a bad job and will give you a recommendation. Your attention to detail does occasionally suffer and could be an area for improvement. On the positive side, you are excellent with customers and a friendly voice on the phone. Your persona greeting those who enter is friendly and warm.

I do not accept that you have not been given training, because it is my belief that you absorbed the part of the job you wanted and did not pursue the rest. Our goal was to hire someone we could train in all aspects of this business and you have made it clear you do not wish to pursue the more technical portions. It is my belief you have grown all you are willing to grow here. I do not think that this position has been fulfilling for you, nor fits you well as you seem to desire a busy, people filled environment.

Your personal life is just that. I cannot control what happens to you outside of this building, nor wish to try. I know it is impossible to completely disengage, but you should strive for more personal detachment at work. On my personal note, I always wish you well, success and happiness.

As you have notified me of your desire to find other employment, I ask that you not work past September so we can make plans to find your replacement. Of course, you may leave at any time.

You have today to reconsider your resignation.

**signed-BOSS**

From Me To Boss:

I don’t talk to you because I never know how your attitude will be ..wether you will welcome me or make me feel totally unwanted. I honestly believe that you have grown to dislike me very much …like I have disappointed you in some way ..and since working here …I dislike me and am disappointed too. I have never understood my job and …don’t feel I was ever given the training I needed to excel. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so useless in my whole life. The only reason I am still here is because I hate to quit and I like the Natzi.

My whole world is falling apart right now. I didn’t get to go to sleep until 3:30 this morning ..and yet I tried to come in here with a smile on my face. I really didn’t need you to hurt my feelings again.

I appreciate you giving me the chance to work here but I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m going to start looking for a job next week.

**Signed SS**

From: Boss
To: Me

My comment was meant for **Nazi Co-worker**. He gets uncomfortable with small talk, and you like to talk to him and I find it amusing.
My comment, said with sarcasm, was a continuation of the “I wish **other co-workers** would talk to you too” conversation we already had.

My fault, again sorry

**Signed Boss**

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

2005-08-22T12:41:00.000-04:00

Soccer Mom rocked out the Seether show on Saturday night at the Ky State Fair;) My darling daughter is quite a little rockstar and ...I'm pretty sure she would've absolutely killed over had we not made this show (in the rain).

I had a small observation regarding "baggage check" ...THERE WASN'T ONE! ...Seems odd to me too. When I was younger and wanted/tried to sneak in all my "contraband" I was STRIP SEARCHED (wow ..those were the good ol' days) ...Now ..there isn't even any security ..or wasn't at this particular showing. This was an (FREE!!) outdoor show at Cardinal Stadium -We walked right in with our gate admission from the fair. WHO KNEW! I could've packed in my meth, ...maaaan *sighs* -Had I known I probably, honestly, would've taken a little tequila just to calm me! hee hee hee. ...I am so not big on such "hateful music" ...there's just so much RAGE in it. I listen to music to calm me ...not make me epileptic!

My baby girl is "hard core" ...She admits today that she may have "sprained her elbow" throwing up some kind of "hang loose" sign (I think that's what that means) repeatedly in time with the music -FOR 4 HOURS! I totally had no business at this concert ..I'm pretty sure I was the oldest person there and did not have enough tattoos or piercings to even come close to fitting in here. **looks VERY embarrassed** I've never felt so "homely" in all my life -my looks TOTALLY need re-vamping for the next show... YES! YOU HEARD ME RIGHT ...I'll be going back -first chance I get ..but not for Seether ...it was hot band boy in Dark New Day ( http://www.darknewday.com/ )that got my vote. ...I have no idea who he is ..but he's got this edgy ..slightly older ..rustic rough look to him ..that made soccer mommy wet with sweat **quivers with delight**. I am officially this rockstars groupie girl!!

HAPPY HOUR..

2005-08-12T10:24:00.000-04:00

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??

If you were in my hands -What kind of drink would I be having?

ON CRAPPY CHILDHOODS..

2005-08-11T12:28:00.000-04:00

I don't want to say my family is fully "dysfunctional" ...Who's isn't?? ...But I will say it has left me a little more than "affected".

Here's a memory I've surpressed for quite sometime. My dad is a fireman. I can remember visiting him numerous times at the fire house. ...Many a Christmas and thanksgiving spent there as well ...However, one visit seems to stand out in my mind if I don't make a conscious effort to push it back.

When I was 8 years old I visited Engine Co. number 10. Like any other kid ...I always had to use the bathroom and snoop around the medicine cabinet. Only this time was different. Dad's company only employed men at the time (before women knew they could be firemen too!) So dad did the "bathroom check" ..then ushered me in. I look at (okay in!) their lockers and around the locker room ...then I open the door to the bathroom stall ...and there is a whole stack of magazines ...with naked girls all over (in) them. I had never ever seen anything like this. I was intrigued ...yet mortified. I will never ever forget that day. It haunts me.

Affected I, much, remain...

Is it in his Kiss?

2005-08-08T12:27:00.000-04:00

Is there always "that one special guy" out there for each of us? Or couldn't we just "learn to love someone". I used to believe in love at first sight ...till I fell in love with everyone I looked at. I think I may just be "in love with love" ...if that makes sense.

The rockstar, though completely immature, irresponsible and unmotivated ...really captured my heart. We had instant chemistry ...and alot of fun together. I don't know what went wrong or when it did exactly. All I know is we are now worlds away. ...and I miss the way we laughed and enjoyed everyday. He really knew how to make me smile ...like no one else ...when he wanted to.

I have recently been "going/hanging out" with *hot wakeboarding boy (with boat mind you!!)* and he's a really super nice guy ...very family oriented, own business (financial security) and is ...just genuinely ...a "good guy". ...But ..the chemistry doesn't seem to be there ...and I'm not sure it's there for either one of us. Is it possible that chemistry will find its way in later? We enjoy time together ...we like a lot of the same things ...he's a friend of the family and ..that's a plus ...as I prefer to spend my weekends with my family! ..but ...we are ...just not that close. I mean, what's wrong with me ...why does the nice guy always finish last ...and does he have to? My head says ...he's great ...awesome ..unbelieveable ...my heart says ...he's not the one. Am I still in love with rockstar? What's the hold up heart?

I COULD'VE DANCED ALL NIGHT...

2005-08-05T07:53:00.000-04:00

...ahhhh ...I feel so "refreshed" this morning. I had the greatest time out with "the gimp girls" last night. I don't know what, exactly, made it so "great" ...just getting out I guess! This Thursday was long over-due;) I had the energy of a kid last night ..it felt gooooood!

I had a boy proposition me last night. ...He explained that he and his friend had a bet. If I would let him smack my a** ...his friend would give him $25 ...after which, he would split with me. ...Now I know it all sounds kind of "white trashy foul" ...but $12.50 is still $12.50 ...and Momma needs milk money (and to pay her tab at the end of night!!) ...So I let him **looks embarrassed** ...I allowed this stranger to pimp my butt out for $12.50! ...Better low class than NO CLASS, i guess! **SMACK** This was no little love pat ya'll -and when asked to pay up ...the boys turned yeller and left. ...Okay ...well maybe not of their own accord. I had to re-in-act my redneck drinking wine bit first "Awwww- Get on outta h'ya" **picture me swelled up, running two boys out of bar** They actually had the nerve to cuss ME on their way out. Boys. HMMP! Who needs 'em. ME! ME! ME!!

I usually like to have my weekend planned by this point. ..But *daughter* started high school on Wednesday and the soccer season has officially started. Looks like my weekend trips to the lake are about to be "all washed up" **picture VERY sad face**. We have a game saturday afternoon. Hopefully I can be in the water by 6!! ...I'm super psyched about next weekend!! I'M GOING TO THE RACES!! Never been before and don't know what to expect ...I think I'll like it!!! I love going fast!!!

LIKE A COG IN A MACHINE...

2005-08-04T10:31:00.000-04:00

I think it's time to re-negotiate my contract ...When I took this position I thought I'd have way more time to blog! WAAAAAHHHHH! I MISS MY BLOG!

p.s. Need reinforcements and nourishment -Send case of Lambrusco and Godiva Chocolates straight away!!!

ON LIFE....

2005-08-02T07:44:00.000-04:00

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO" what a ride!!" ~ Author Unknown

DANCING QUEEN

2005-07-29T12:09:00.000-04:00

When I was 14 I left home. I just knew I could make a better life somewhere else (Lord, don't we wish we knew everything we knew back then!) I married and had a beautiful bb girl that to this very day is my best good friend -However, the boy wasn't so "beautiful" and there was never any honeymoon. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to stay home with our child her first year. However, by the time I was 18 her wonderful dad had "sold me" to the gentlemens club a block away. Apparently "he knew a girl" (most likely was sleeping with a girl) that had worked there and if I "would just do it a couple of months" we could get out of debt and get a good start in life. HA! ~But, I agreed ~as usual.

My first night was terrible ...absolutely miserable ...disheartening ...and it sickens me to think of it even now. I'd never seen girls act so vulgar and definitely had Never EVER seen anyone stark naked in public. I was shocked that such a place even existed. PEOPLE I WAS 18!! And having left home at 14 to marry and have a baby ...I didn't have a whole lot of "worldly" experiences. I remember my "interview" ...my boss went over the following rules:

1. You dance 2 songs. At very least, your top must come off by the 2nd song.

2. If you are late, You pay the bar $50 for every hour.

3. You must keep 6" between you and patron while dancing ...OKAY! This one was Funny ...because I was like HELLO, I'll be 6 FEET from that sorry stinkin' S.O.B that should be home with his wife and kids. -DON'T WORRY!

My first night hurt ...absolutely hurt me on the inside. Being raised in a Christian home I knew this was not accceptable and God himself was crying for me. A waitress (obviously sent by boss) kept bringing me drinks to loosin' me up. I was thankful for them then, but now I wonder how they were able to serve "a child" alcohol. ...and that mean man kept yelling at me telling me I would have to go next or go home ...and home wasn't an option for me.

I worked those stupid clubs for what seemed like eternity. Most likely, a year. ...I had to keep my day job so no one would wonder how we were getting by so well and I worked the club at night ..away from my baby girl. Whats sickens me most is that ...at some point I became ok with it ...and started to enjoy the attention ...and work became fun for me.

Eventually, I realized this was not the life I wanted for my daughter or myself ...an abusive home and a mother that earned a living like that. I started giving my husband the majority of my pay -but always keeping a little back for us. Finally I had enough money to run away ...and I have never been back. I pray my daughter never knows this dark past.

Last night I ran into a guy that remembered me from there ...He used my stage name ...that made me uncomfortable.

EAT YOUR VEGGIES!

2005-07-26T10:40:00.000-04:00

I think I must be phasing in to a whole new era of my life. I find more contentment in everyday things. The drama seems to be passing away and, for the first time ever, I ate brussel sprouts. This may not seem blog-worthy to the average passer by. But believe me, this has been a life long quest of my fathers.

When I was just a little bit'a girl my dad and I had all out war ...OVER ONE BRUSSEL SPROUT. This one night left a lasting impression that would torture me and drive a wedge between dad and I forever. My momma still tells the story of the night dad tried to force that evil piece of greenery thru my clenched teeth. I was not budging. The more addament he became ..the madder and more sure I got ..that he would NEVER succeed. As GOD AS MY WITNESS, I WILL NEVER EAT THAT LITTLE GREEN VEGGIE! The story has become vague in my mind, as thru the years I have tried to block out that awful night. I just remember how pititul that little girl must have looked at the table soaked from her tears and exhausted by the fight that seemed to last for hours and carried on thru out the years.

Yesterday my dad stopped by for lunch. ...There's a great little cafeteria a block down from my work ..and wouldn't you know ...they serve brussel sprouts. Dad never said a word as we walked past ...for the first time ever ...he didn't mention that night ..as he had for the past 25 years ...EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY TIME HE SEES A BRUSSEL SPROUT He feels compelled to remind me of what a rebellious child I was. Quitely, I picked up the brussel sprouts and proceeded thru the line. As we sat down I put the bowl between us. Neither of us mentioned that terrible night ...instead, we shared a smile and a bowl of sprouts.

ROCK ME GENTLY...

2005-07-25T13:04:00.000-04:00

...And the Rockstar Returns. How in Haidi's am I supposed to get on with my life with emails like this one in my inbox?

Hey sweetypie. i wrote you a song..........well maybe not...sorta stole it i guess....but it is still how i feel. when the rains blowin in your face, and the whole world is on your case, i would offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love. when the evening shadows and the stars appear , and there is no one to dry your tears, i could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love. i know you haven't made you mind up yet, but i would never do you wrong. i known it from the moment that we met, and theres no doubt in my mind where you belong. sorry i just thought i could put that in there. i do really feel that way though. i went to church this morning...i just couldn't sleep at all, and i got off work at 300 and got home at 400 and was up getting ready at 800. i can't function with you on my brain all time. anyway, *preacher* was talking about rejoycing in the good things that god has givin us...and at the top of the list was children....so of course it reminded me of how much i miss *my daughter* and you and all of the kids at the house. we usta have a packed house every weekend..i never knew how much that really meant to me until i woke this sunday morning and had no waffles to fix a dozen kids. do you want a waffle i make a pretty mean one you know? please come home....your my sunshine.....and i am in darkness. you light up my life. i talked to mom last night about it...she says she misses you too. every one misses you...*only friend i ever had there* has her motorcycle permit now...she is wanting to go on a big ride soon...if her dad will let her ride his bike.......well better go my one daylight day off is wasting away.... i love you beautiful. your soulmate *stupid ungrateful cheating irreponsible immature rockstar*

I still love him. I just know this player can never be anything my heart needs or wants him to be. It's ...just too late and my heart was too broke. ...Big stupid meanie head!

MEN ...Hmmp.

2005-07-21T12:51:00.000-04:00

I have nothing at all even remotely worth posting today. But I thought the script needed changing just as well.

The rockstar proposed to me ...via text message yesterday. Yes, I'm am fully aware what a lucky girl I am ...lucky indeed **says sarcastically**. I have 4 boys competing for my attention at this time. The problem is they are all ex-bf's or ex-husbands. Why why why is it that boys think they can cast you away and call you hither whenever the notion strikes. If you can't see and appreciate what you have when you've got it ...what makes you think I will come crawling back to you later. Can someone explain this phenomena? Guys ..you owe me nothing but brutal honesty ...and since we're not having sex I will not be with-holding sex afterwards. Tell me whats up? How can a boy totally disrespect you and disappoint you and call you back 4 months later with a marriage proposal?

DOES YOUR CHEWING GUM LOSE ITS FLAVOR

2005-07-18T08:52:00.000-04:00

...All's well that ends well. This weekend has caused me to "reflect" on my life somewhat. We celebrated Rainbows 29th bday and I took my Grandma to visit a friend she hasn't seen in 48 years. It caused me to think of myself and where I've been and where I'm going.

Yesterday on my way home I realized that ...I am finally ...all grown up. ...I remember, when I was little, holding my arm out the window as our mom drove that little black beetle. I loved the way the wind felt in my hair and on my face ...James Taylor was playing on the radio ...and it was summertime. 29 years later and I'm still waving in the wind. Yesterday it rained. I drove home with my arm out the window ...and for the first time ...I realized ...the rain doesn't sting anymore. When I was little the rain stung my sensitive skin ...I guess over the years ...we harden and adjust to adversity ...the rain ...just doesn't sting as much. ...and we grow up ...and grow old like my grandma.

Ode to Rainbow Bright

2005-07-15T09:41:00.000-04:00

1. I love you for you

2. I love you for me

3. I love the way you give so selflessly to your family and admire your dedication to them.

4. I love the way you dance and the way you capture all the attention in a room

5. I love the way you tickle backs and the way you smiled when you read that;)

6. I love the way I can talk to you and you make everything better

7. I love your ablility to score free drinks and breakfast!

8. I love you for allowing me to be me –bad choices and all;)

9. I love you for always making me feel like a star –even after a bad decision

10. I love you just the way you are

******************HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAINBOW-I HEART YOU**************

THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

2005-07-14T09:16:00.000-04:00

I'm so super excited! Tomorrow is Rainbow Brights Birthday and Saturday I'm having a big pool party at the house to celebrate!! I've hired cabanna boys to serve up frothy foo foo drinks (poolside of course!) and a cook to grill the following ..just for you rainbow:

bbq chicken
pork tenderloin
cabbage and potatoes

On the inside -I'll be preparing:

mac and cheese and chocolate lush!!

I've got some really fun games lined out for us too! I thought we'd go "old school" with some traditional apple bobbing!! And "See ya Suckers" -Who can consume their wine the fastest -from a baby bottle??? Here's one I'm working on ...remember the "smarties" we ate as kids? I thought we could try to pick them up with straws ..but then what should we do with them? Is it possible to play suck and blow with smarties and straws or would you pick the smarties up with a straw and carry it somewhere or just see how many you can pick up and put in a bowl? Of course, we'll have wheelbarrow races and waterballoons to boot -OH! This is really going to be a hoot!

Make sure you stop by if you are in the area!! And bring your birthday suit! OOPS!! I mean bathing suit!! REALLY! See ya then!

WHAT A SOAK!

2005-07-13T10:13:00.000-04:00

ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH MY BOSS THIS MORN:

Him: Good Morning "my name" **Hands me bag**

Me: Well Good Morning Sunshine **Opens bag**

Me: **Finds Bottle of Blackberry Wine** Wow! Thanks! What's the Occassion?

Him: I just find the drunker you are, the more productive you are.

Me: Well Heck Yeah! Here's to Production **Pops Cork**

Wow! What a Life!

FUNERAL PROCESSION. DO YOU PROCEED?

2005-07-11T13:29:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling a little "disturbed" today. Have you people no manners at all? During lunch I came upon a funeral procession ...so ...I stopped ...in the street ...to pay respect to the family. I thought everyone did. However, a gentleman (not so "gentle") in a volvo behind me started cussing me and throwing up gang signs because his latte' was cooling while I was sitting in the street. WTF? Do you stop for funerals? What is "proper etiquette"? How about on 4-lane highways? Is that expected as well?

MAXI MAYHEM

2005-07-08T11:57:00.000-04:00

This is tooo good not to blog it!! My brother-in-law drove around last night in a Lincoln with a maxi pad stuck to the drivers side window! ...I really thought he was doing it as a prank ...you know, boys just being silly;) But apparently, my sister put it there to make him look like a big loser and keep all the girls away! Clever, I thought!

When asked if someone could use the car ...he obliged ...with one reminder "Do Not Move the Maxi - Momma will Be Mad" ...It would so work for me ..there is no way I'm going to approach a menstruating man;)

MAKING WAVES

2005-07-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

Seems like my life is one big mammoth wave after another. There's always a little something going on ;) I didn't make it to >a href="http://stonemountainpark.com"StoneMountain
as planned and, as a tribute to JQP I wasn't going to type about it until he was back and blogging again. However, being the blog whore that I am and the fact that I have nothing to do today ...I have decided to break the silence. I love you Johnny Boy but ..sometimes you just gotta keep on truckin ..even after your passenger is ejected.

My little brothers daddy had open heart surgery on Friday, so we decided to stick around here in leiu of Georgia ..just in case he needed us... I visited with him yesterday ...although I couldn't rouse him at all ..completely lifeless ..very disheartening. Sorry to miss the festivities
Ananonymousgirl I know we would have made some serious waves in the south;)

Saturday was well spent in Owensboro attending a friends wedding. Absolutely GORGEOUS! I'm so glad we've moved away from traditional boring weddings. This one was outside beside a pond ..with a fountain ..the whole wedding party was barefoot ..including the 8 children that twirled in with fairy wings to the tune of "A whole new world" ...very magical. Brooke and Joe -I wish you mud puddles and dandelions to enjoy your whole life thru. **ps ..sorry i broke your door and burned your countertop ..it was an honest mistake** Happy Honey-Mooning!

Saturday night I was back at the river by midnight ...had a glass of wine, laughed with friends and was in bed by 12:30.

Sunday, against Dr's orders, I was back in the
lake reflecting on what a wonderful life it truly is. It really does not take a lot to make me smile. I'm a lucky girl. ..and for someone that is flat broke all the time ..I sure do have a lot of fun! This weekend after years of "no's" ...I went off one of the most hideous rope swings you have ever seen. You've got to pack a 50 lb. rope up a mountain side to even do this ..This is not your grand-dads swing;) With little grace and lots of pain ..it is done ...I am now an official "swinger" ...landing 300 feet below spread eagle ...on my back **looks shamefully proud** I think I have finally made my wave on the world.

EAR-IE FEELING

2005-07-01T12:11:00.000-04:00

Today ...I have the worst earache I have ever experienced. ...Actually ...I believe this may be the only earache I have ever experienced. It has literally dropped me to my knees (which hot wakeboard boy enjoyed tremendously!) It started two days ago, but I am always broke by Wednesday (Why isn't that spelled Whensday, like it should be?) and wasn't able to go to the Dr. until today.

After talking to the Dr. she suggested I have "swimmers ear" ....which is caused by, YOU GUESSED IT, ...Swimming! She then proceded to "irrigate" my ear, no less than 15 times. ...For those of you that don't understand "irrigation" This is where the Dr. takes a high powered watergun (and all the anxiety she feels inside) and forcefully "shoots" your eardrum with water. Like I wasn't in enough pain already! I squealed like a girl! ...All the while I'm thinking "GREAT! That's just what I need ...MORE WATER!"

It's a good thing I'm visiting StoneMountain and not doing my usual river dance. The Dr. has put me on "water leave" for the next 2 weeks ...I'm shooting for one;) I guess I'll have to play captain next weekend (...much to the dismay of every other boater on the lake!)

On a side note ...I'm pretty sure my female Dr. has a crush on me. She invades my space on every visit and "makes eyes" at me quite frequently. She insists on touching me when I talk to her and "told me never to worry about my co-pay -just come see her" ...I thought all this pretty strange ...and when she had to do a pelvic exam to diagnose swimmers ear ...I became somewhat concerned???? ...Hmmmm.

Everyone have a happy and SAFE 4th of July! And Remember ***Drink Responsibly***

PISHY 102

2005-06-22T12:27:00.000-04:00

OH MY GOOOOOOOODNESS!

I have to tell you all the juicy details that you DO NOT want to know. Last night **hot boy** and I met up with some of my friends/some of his for supper and bowling. We had a really great time but after leaving the bowling allyI needed a shower to get all the smoke out of my hair (bowling alley's smell!!!) ...when I got out he asked me if I wanted to sleep in his bed (never been there before) ...and after sleeping on his super uncomfy couch I jumped at the chance! You all know we've been kissing ALOT ...weeeeelllll ...the kisses took a trip ....sort of ....ummm ...south last night!!!! You all would soooooooooooooooooooo not believe how awesome he is ...which i totally DID NOT expect (see last weeks post) I really really like that ...but boys tend to always make a mess of it ...not Big Timmy Ohh La La though ...he was so sweet and gentle and "attentive" to all the right places!! YIKES!!! I'm all giddy like a school girl today!! Absolutely smitten...

**On a side note -I bowled the absolute worst game of my life last night -after I trash talked about my crazy mad bowling skills -I was embarrassed** **But not half as embarrassed as I was when I made my mad dash for the bedroom door (I'm such a spitter) and ran into the wall ...I couldn't laugh or say anything ...My mouth was full **pure embarrassment**

Pishy 101

2005-06-17T13:17:00.000-04:00

I've been day dreaming all day ...(really, ALLLL DAY) ...about everything and nothing ...and then I came across this thought. **Cute Boy** and I have went out a couple of times and I've even spent the night at his house ...we broke down last week and did some heavy kissing (that was nice ...reeeeeal nice!) I'm in no way ready to have s-e-x with him. However, if the opportunity were right ...I'm probably allow him to venture furthur south with his lovely little lips. ...So, here's my dilemma ....oral sex has become somewhat of a big deal to me ...after having someone finally show me how it's supposed to work I want it to work like that all the time. Now ...do I:

a) Let nature run it's course -And by that I mean, let him show me what he can do ...ultimately leaving me disappointed and having to go through a very uncomfortable "this is how I'd like it done in the future speech..."

OR

b) Address the issue now and avoid any long sloppy unsatisfying sex. I mean ..is it polite to say "When you do this I'd like you to..."

I feel like if I tell him what I expect (like) first then I will avoid and uncomfortable situation, but ...I also ruin his chance to "show off" ...what if he really knows what he's doing (unlikely, most boys dont) ..but what if he does? I know it's a petty little thing ...and may not ever even be an issue ..maybe i'm just jumpin' the gun or wishful thinking... whatever the case ..what do you think?

GOT A FOGGY FEELING TODAY..

2005-06-17T08:39:00.000-04:00

"...Now wait a minute things don't look too familiar" I had too much tequila last night!

The "Gimp Girls" were out in full force last night! Sooou-Weeee! Last night was Rainbows official initiation! Red rover, Red rover -we won Rainbow over! **We are hoping to make you one of us now** (we left a tape in your truck!) I'm pretty lucky to be in such a cool club;)

After a long night at the "country club" ...I went home with one of my best good girlfriends. We talked and giggled for what seems to be forever (you'll have that with girls) ...tickled backs and fell asleep (commonly referred to as passing out)

When I woke up this morning **friend** looks over at me and says:

"I was a little wigged out when I woke up last night and found you staring at me" LOL

I said "WHAT??? SHUT UP!! NO WAY! WERE MY EYES OPEN?"

She says "Yes, Really ...it's ok ...I'm over it now ...I just thought it was kind of strange" hee hee hee

This is funny! ...Initially I had no recollection ..just relying on her accounts of the night! I felt like a total loser. What would possess me to wake up and stare at my friend sleeping? That's like weird stalker boyfriend stuff. Then I remembered vaguely (very vaguely) waking up kind of startled and ...disoriented ...I remember having no earthly idea where I was. I've never slept in her room before. I imagine I was trying to figure out who I'd went home with, but more importantly, why my pants were still on!

PLAY ON PLAYA

2005-06-16T08:20:00.000-04:00

This morning I received this:

From:
Codking54@???
Date:
Thu, 16 Jun 2005 06:18:35 EDT
Subject:
(no subject)
To:
practicingdramasince91@??????

***********************
Hello **my name**. I have been working around the clock this week i got home at 2:00 am this morning. but even with all this work you are still on my mind. i wish you would call me. I can't call you since you blocked me. I will have my phone with me all the time and i will be working day or night so you can call when ever is convenient. If you don't wanna alright. but we said when you moved that we would talk about all the things that we should have done. its not too late for us, is it? I just don't want us to make the biggest mistake of our lives because of our pride. i love you. j
************************
HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS? Had I not received Fridays emails I might have fallen for this ...but he definitely should'a got his game plan together before he started playing.

THE BAKERY IS CLOSED!

2005-06-15T09:20:00.000-04:00

From the looks of my inbox it appears the rockstar would now like to have his cake and eat hers too... NOT A CHANCE SUCKER! THIS BAKERY IS CLOSED!

Codking54: Hello **My name** ....... How is your day going

S.S: Long and Hard. …How would you prefer I send you my insurance payment? In the mail or would you like to pick it up?

Codking54: well at least you are finally getting something long and hard.....well i will be in e town tommorrow working.. but i am sure that you will be down at your sis's lake house since it is the weekend and all. plus i am sure that you don't want to have to see me anyway. so you can send it if you want....i would rather see you though

S.S: not funny codking ..it's been tough. ...and i've missed you and surely paid for anything I have ever done wrong to you. We have a wedding to go to tomorrow so we're not going down till Sunday, but I'd say we'll be at the wedding most of the night. ..it doesn't start till 4.

...What are you trying to say J. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want me ..you want all of me ..the highs and the lows. ...but you can't call me hither everytime you take a notion. It doesn't work like that for me. Love me or let me go.

Codking54: i am not sure how you meant that last one to sound....cause it sounded to me like your not hating as much today. and your right, i would love some cake and Eat it too.

S.S: I will put a check in the mail today for $60. I will have to mail you the other $40 early next week. I have never hated you. Only wanted to be loved in return.

...And This bakery is closed. You'll have to go to walmart.

Codking54: but i like the speacialty store....walmart only has the generic stuff that everybody else uses. if you need to send less you can...i am gettting a pretty good check this week, well next week cause this week was only two days...but i will have six on the next on. are you sure that you don't wanna stop by tonight ....and let me look over your shelves and indulge myself with some sweets

SS: You need to go to lane 2 sir. We don't sell commodities here.

Codking54: well thats a shame cause i was gonna be a big spender

SS: .all i ever wanted was you to spend on our home. I was your girl.

Codking54: did **my daughter** ask you to come over the other night

S.S: she did ..but ...i can't do that anymore. It hurts me too much ..and i'm ..just better than that.

EMPTY THE CONTENTS OF YOUR BAG...

2005-06-10T14:46:00.000-04:00

As I ws cleaning my purse today I was suddenly very thankful that I don't fly alot. For among the contents I found these things:

1. a wine corker

2. A pair of "used" thongs

3. Immodium AD (for the girl on the "go" -no relation to the the panties -stictly coincidental

4. A razor (for mid day stubble)

5. Sulfacetamide Sodium Solution

TEARING APART AT THE SEAMS

2005-06-09T11:48:00.000-04:00

...Do you remember last week when the sales associate at Dillards told me not to buy the outfit I had tried on cause it made me look "short and fat" ...well ...I BOUGHT IT! I went to a different store across town and bought the exact same thing. It's just so darn cute -I don't care if it makes me look 300 lbs.!

Well maybe her blantant disregard of my feelings was a sign... because I bought the outfit Tuesday night and wore it to work on Wednesday ....by 10 am I realized this shirt was ripping at the seams and half my fatty patty side was hanging out ...so ...me not wanting to "show skin" all day at work ...prompted me to drive back to the dillards with the devil that told me I'm too fat to wear the shirt in the first place. WTF?

I don't know about you but I have never went to a store to exchange something I was actually wearing. ..so there I am at the counter (with the devil girl) and say:

ME: I have sort of a strange request **picture really embarrassed face** -I bought this shirt last night and I wore it to work today and now it has this huge hole in the side and ~I'd like to exchange it now. (GOSH! THAT WAS EMBARRASSING)

Now I figured with the history she and I have together she'd say:

DEVIL: I told you not to buy it fatty! Now stop eating or go to the misses dept!

But she said **with smirk on face**

DEVIL: Yes ~ that is a strange request. You'll need to see someone in customer service.

MAN! So then I had to tell the whole story again... However, I did exchange the shirt and will never be back in that particular dillards again ...at least for 2 weeks (I LOVE THEIR SHOES!!)

...and speaking of shoes ...I totally bought some sexy saucy heels that strap around the ankle and this hot hot dress to wear to my wedding this weekend! I'VE GOT TO POST SOME PICS HERE!

**See shoes here:
http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=500716294&No=20&overallOffset=5&N=1000892&searchUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dillards.com%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3FNo%3D20%26overallOffset%3D5%26N%3D1000892&R=SWS647**

**And I'm wearing them with this:
http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=500475778&No=47&overallOffset=3&N=1590641&searchUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dillards.com%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3FNo%3D47%26overallOffset%3D3%26N%3D1590641&R=WWG014

I'M SO SUPER PSYCHED!

My week-In a Nutshell

2005-06-07T15:51:00.000-04:00

This'll have to be fast ...there's just too many skillets in the fire today and somethins a burnin'!

It's been a long week already here at work ...today I have on the loudest flip flops ever ...a definite firing is unavoidable ..these people hate me and my dirty jeans and tank top i had to wear today ...I dressed it up with a bright yellow blazer! (definitely not regulation dress code) ...But, my weekend was fine!!! Saturday my sister and I drove down to Owensboro for a wedding shower ...IN A BAR! People this is a concept worth persuing! It was the coolest couples shower ever and everyone had a great time ...better yet, the hostess' were free to enjoy the festivities as the bartender was catching the slack! Congrats Brookie -hope you liked that 1/2 empty bottle of lambrusco -I do my best!! Enjoy!

oh wait!! Let me back up! You will not believe my Friday night!! I was looking forward to spending it with my daughter, neices and nephew. I had planned lots of little activities and fun stuff for us to do/make around the house ...it just so happens, mr. hottie himself was also looking for fun things to do! Turns out we had 5 kids that night and a ton of fun. ...And he asked me out!! I don't know if I'm going ...but it was neat to know he, at least, liked me! **Now, back to my situps**

Sunday I was supposed to babysit my sisters 3 dollies while she went to model for an agency in Louisville... Turns out my brother-in-law, me and the hottie loaded up the 5 kids for a day at the lake (man.. that boy's cute!) ***The Rope, The Rope ***The Rope is on Fire! I did everything I tried with that silly little wakeboard on Sunday -FOLLOWED BY FACE PLANT AFTER FACE PLANT AFTER BATHING SUIT BEING RIPPED OFF AFTER FACE PLANT! I SUCK AT THIS SOOOOOO BAD! ...Do you see why I enjoy water sports so much? Turns out my walmart bathing suit has not been rated to withstand extreme forces... Better luck next time ...in the mean time ..."Timmy Williamson, will you help me get this thing off -OOPS! I MEAN ON! I REALLY MEAN ON!!!"

FATTY PATTY RIDES AGAIN...

2005-06-03T12:31:00.000-04:00

ummm ...I think it's time I focus on a "weight management program" (don't say the "d word") ...This weekend my sister and I have a wedding shower to go to in Owensboro. And every girl knows, every road trip is accompanied by a trip to the mall for new clothes;) So ...My first (and last) stop is Dillards. I gather up several outfits that I think will make me look HOTT HOTT HOTT ..and i'm off to the fitting rooms. I have these cute little "flowy" pants on and a pretty cute shirt and I step out of the fitting room to check my reflection in the big 3-D mirror when one of the saleswoman stops in ...I simply asked "what do you think of this" ...and she replys: "Wellllll ....honestly I think it makes you look shorter than you already are and ...ummmmm ....a bit chunky, but... THAT'S WHEN I SAID ..."NO! Really, that's enough ..that's all I needed to hear" ....Now ...what in the world ...fatty patty's packin' a few extra pounds in the round ...but what possessed her to be so brutally honest? She's sales! She's supposed to be positive ..you know ..boost me up! Make me buy! ...I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when all the sales girls are so mean to her.

**********************************

On a totally unrelated note, I had the most fabulous hollie-day week-end "bustin' mad tricks on the wakeboard" (LOL, quote from a conversation I overheard around the campfire. Hal's Cute!) I really enjoyed the time with my family and friends and being in the water again. ...when I come back to this place, I'M COMIN' BACK AS A FISH! I LOVE THE RIVER ...and Timmy Williamson! My brother-in-law has the cutest friend that I have ...just never paid much attention to ...in due, partly, to the fact that ...I always thought he was way cooooler than me ..you know, sort of ..out of my league. We talked quite a bit this weekend ...and drank waaaay to much tequila ....I LOVE TEQUILA!! I have developed a crazy crush for this boy! Why!! Why!! Why!! ...I wonder about me sometimes! He totally DOES NOT know it ...nor does he realize I have done 300 situps everyday since then to work off all the "fatty patty patties" McDonalds has been selling me this winter ...FOR HIM! I call it "my tribute to timmy" ...LOL! Crushes are fun, aren't they? I totally did not want to move to fast ...but Sunday morning ...We slept together. ...Okay ..now that I have your attention;) ...It was the only place left (we have very "humble" accomodations) at the lake;) ...we ended up sleeping on an air mattress TOGETHER!! I was so tired when I feel asleep I didn't think anything of it ..I believe I was asleep by the time he got there ...but Monday morning his foot touched mine and it made me shiver with delight!!! A FREAKING FOOT MADE ME SHIVER! There is already something very perverse about this. I realized I better high-tail it up outta there before his sock came off! Soooouuuu-WEEEEE!

When can I exhale?

2005-05-20T14:34:00.000-04:00

Yeah...I know it has been like forever and a year since I posted anything. Well, except the dialog between SS and I but really, that didn't take much time and I feel that I have abandoned all of my blog buddies and surely that was not my intent. Things have been moving at a much faster pace than I would like and I am one that likes to go, go, go all the time. Something just have to give or else I'm gonna have a major melt-down.

First, I haven't even reported back about my job interview...I did accept the position. True it is $500 a year less than I am making now but losing the stress and responsibility alone is worth that. Figure in the gas savings from taking my daily miles down to 5 as opposed to 40...the extra week vacation, extra sick leave AND that the job that I really want will be open in less than two years...and the $500 is nuthin'! So, I am trying to find my replacement here, finish the budget, clean my office, and take care of daily problems that I am so glad to leave behind. I will be sad my last day here, I really care about this place and what happens to it...I just need to move on and hopefully up to bigger and better things.

Last weekend, SS and I participated in the annual Relay for Life in our county and I am happy to report that our site alone raised over $85,000! WhoooHooo!!! While doing activities for that event totally stresses me out (and put 300 zits on my face) I think it is an awesome cause and I am proud to be invloved. The fact that I only got 4 hours sleep in a 24 hour period didn't help the zits either but I'm happy to report that thanks to my de-stressing day off shopping with a good friend yesterday, I'm all clear! Oh and have cute, cute clothes too!

This weekend, is my 10 year (eeek....I'm old) wedding anniversary. Gosh, how has he put up with me that long? It hasn't been easy I know but I look forward to a fun weekend...getting gifts...and GREAT anniv. SEX! ;) SS has agreed to keep the kids and that is wonderful because I plan on getting my groove on late into the night at a club...then in the bed. If you don't know...loud sex is forbidden when you have kiddos in the house and I miss that. What would I do without Strawberrie to help me out with my sex life???

With all that has gone on and will go on...posting will be very scarce. It's probably not a good idea to take a break from training my replacement next week to blog...then I'll be on vacation for a week. Can I get a "HELL YEAH"??? I am so looking forward to that and celebrating my baby girl's second birthday. Then I will start my new job...wish me luck guys...and that the new place doesn't interfere with my blogging or chatting. I know how some places of employement frown upon it and all. ;)

Have a great weekend everyone! Be safe and have lots of great sex!

Ring Around The...

2005-05-19T14:03:00.000-04:00

Just 15 minutes ago I was struck with the fact that I may, quite possibly, have ring worm. RING WORM PEOPLE! ...How do these things keep happening to me?? While visiting the powder room (not for powdering;) I noticed 2 distinct circles on my leg ...I thought ... "ring worm" ...What else could it be? So ...this is just great ...I'm sleeping with my ex-bf and, apparently with my ex-hubby too (see previous post) ...and now I have RING WORM! Can I suck anymore? (hee hee hee ...funny you should ask;)

I AM DEVASTATED! ..Ring worms are ...sort of dirty, aren't they? So ...I cry and pout around in the bathroom as I am "re-clothing" and I reach down to "feel" the spot (NO! ..not that spot) ..the circles ...just to see how far my dirty disease has spread (like ...you know, are they raised?) and that's when I found them. 2 QUARTERS! YEAH! WOOHOO! I'm not a dirty girl after all! The quarters in my pocket had just caused some "little" indentions on my leg ...So now, I'm not dirty ...just a hypochondriac ...and that is waaaaay better;)

THE S*** HAS HIT THE FAN!

2005-05-18T11:59:00.000-04:00

When the s*** hits the fan ...it disperses well. ...At least it does in my world. I've come to the conclusion that I over-behave and over-react to every stressful situation I get in ...it's true ...I AM A DRAMA QUEEN.

As most of you know ...the rockstar and I are "officially over" ...for the 10th time this week -...minus the 3 nights I've spent at his house ...so that's like a 7 (which is also my lucky number ...maybe this one will stick!)

But here's what I have gone and done now ...and I am not proud **picture strawberrie with head held in shame as I type this post ...it's pathetic**

...I really enjoy sex ....really really really like it. I have sex at least once a day ...even if it is just with myself. My problem is ...it's just been me since I left the rockstar. I'm not about a bunch of booty cooties ...so I stick to what I know;) On Monday I decided to pay the rockstar a visit ..IT WAS DEFINITELY TIME ...I wanted sex but I wanted it to be on my terms ...and I definitely didn't want him thinking he was my only option (although he is right now) ...So I was being a little demanding (sexually) and I think he was maybe a little intimidated (as that is his usual position) ...so we fought for control and I ended up smarting off with "..if this is too much trouble I can go somewhere else" ...and proceeded to call ex-hubby (from rockstars phone, with rockstar on line) I think he was caught a little off guard and perplexed when I asked to come over ...turns out he wasn't home but as suspected invited me over the following night ...Just as I had wanted ...for rockstar to see I HAD OPTIONS. ...I ended up staying with rockstar and having the most awesome "animalistic" sex ever that night.

Here's where I screw up (again) ...Ex-hubby, I imagine, was anxiously awaitting a booty call on Tuesday ...I feel real bad about what I've done ...so I call and leave a message on his voice mail about how I had been drinking a little wine and got into a little tiff (i use little alot when talking about myself, it helps to minimalize the enormous disasters I cause in the world) with the rockstar and wanted to make rockstar jealous ..so decided I should have re-bound sex and, at the time, thought I'd just do it with him ...I explained, via voicemail, that I did not want anything from him and no longer desired the "rebound sex" i had mentioned last night. I concluded with ... that would not be healthy and not what either of us need. ...So, to make this long story short, his girlfriend (whom, according to him, had just recently broken up with him and kicked him out of the house) calls me back and tells me she heard everything. She now blames ME for their breakup and said I have always wanted him and believes I have been sleeping with him for the past 2 years.

...and the tables have turned as she is saying all the things to me that I said to Miss Tish (the rockstars ex-gf last week ...ALTHOUGH SHE HAS, ADMITTEDLY, RODE THE BOLONY PONY;)

One phone call has really really devastated an innocent girl. I feel super bad. Can I make this life much harder?

***************
On a side note ...a member of my wedding party (to ex-hubby #2) was arrested this morning at his meth lab. WTF? What kind of people am I hanging around with anyway? Very shocking..
***************

IF THE POD IS ROCKIN...

2005-05-17T10:48:00.000-04:00

Saturday is my 13 y.o. daughters birthday. I'm having this personalized:

http://www.apple.com/ipodmini/

Does anyone have any "music quotes" that would be cool enough for my little rockstar?

Ain't Skeerd!

2005-05-13T10:26:00.000-04:00

Somebody hide me QUICK! Do you know what today is? Today is FREAKY FRIDAY! FRIDAY THE 13TH! Why did you people not warn me! Do you remember the last Friday 13th we had here? OH ...Good Lawd ...I could'a called in sick...

Let me explain... I work with 3 boys. 3 rotton boys and one girl that "just tries to fit in". When I initially started here they had to explain a couple of "traditions" ...One of them being "FREAKY FRIDAY". ...You see everytime Friday falls on the 13th our lunch break is spent in White Castles racing down "13" white castles. (Can it get any scarier?) The winner is then "officially named" King/Queen of the Castle. This is ...a nauseating experience. Honestly, it was fun ...THE FIRST TIME (see pic) ...However, that was a once in a lifetime deal ...you know ...when our relationship was new and I was trying to "impress the boys" ...I'm not sure I'm up for it today ...around about the 9th one they all start to taste like napkins soaked in bad grease ...and the consistency is equally as bad ..because at that point the salt has soaked up every drop of moisture in your mouth.

In honor of tradition I am "obligated" to participate. Whats our strategy men? Come on -PUMP ME UP!

A Moral Issue...

2005-05-12T12:49:00.000-04:00

My love life (or lack of love) is really bringing the morale down around this place (or morals, hee hee hee ...one or the other!) So I'm switching gears and getting all fired up for a fabulous weekend!

Tomorrow, Rainbow Bright and I, will be volunteering (slaving) for yet another (all night) RELAY FOR LIFE!! Whoohoo! It's a great big party around our parts (mostly cause we make it that way!) and the proceeds go to help fund research and resources for cancer patients. So you get to have a blast and feel good about yourself the next morning! (how often does that happen??!)

Saturday ...I hope to wake up to a scourching hot hot day ...and I'm going to finish my sleep cycle by the pool with a glass of "the wine of the day" ...which I'm figuring to be a soft red (just the mood i'm in!) ...but watch out ..cause saturday night I'm strapping on the boogie shoes (or whatever else Rainbow likes;)

It should surely prove to be a fun, event filled weekend ..will let you know how it turns out on Monday. Until then ...don't do anything I would do;)

LIVE AND LOVE

2005-05-11T07:53:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Blog Ho's;) Since I have been sharing my "faltering" relationship with all of you. I wanted to post some more emails from/to the rockstar this morn. A little lengthy, but so far this relationship has failed miserably ..so I am looking for a little input;)

To Jason on Monday,

I need a favor ...and I hate to ask you to do this. ...But when you get home, will you take **daughters** things out to her at **friends** house. Her suitcase is so big and I didn't want her to have to take it with her to school today (she's staying with friend until school is out at end of month). I know it's a long ride out ..but she needs it ..and she needs to see you. She is really struggling with this J ...she has made you her dad in her mind and now she she thinks you don't love her anymore. Will you please show her otherwise. I know it's hard, ...it's hard on everyone. But she loves you and needs you too.

I think she has tennis practice after school. If they are not there you can just leave it outside.

I love you big boy. I don't know where we went wrong ...but it's a huge mistake on both our parts.

To Jason on Tuesday,

I appreciate you taking care of coco yesterday. ...and I appreciate your dinner offer. However, there are some issues that we need to talk about. You say we should start over, but I see us continuing on the same road ...I sent you 2 emails last week and you never responded ...and I think a response was in order.

I would like for you to really take a minute and put yourself in my shoes. If I had come home and immediately jumped into bed with someone ..how would that have made you feel?

You see, it's a little different to you because it was you and tish. If I had done the exact same thing I would have been a whore and you would have said:

a. I had been cheating on you the whole time
b. That was planned
c. He was why I left

I'm really struggling with this. I hear your invitation, but don't know how to accept. I can't be a fall back plan to you ...and you won't always keep me this close ...we are OR we aren't.

What do you want for your life? Who's going to wipe your tears?

From Jason Today:

hello, I don't get on here every night so there may be a time lapse between letters. Some days are longer than others for me. I have thought about it and put myself in your shoes. I am not too sure that those the exact responses that I would have had. But I will admit that I would have tryed to make excuses for your behavior. In this particular case, it was just what I said it was........I paniced and ran....I was overwhelmed. I am sorry though I now see that it was not what I needed to do and it hurt you......which I did not want to do. We were somewhat deceitful to one another. You projected a certain type fo feeling toward me, like one that you were completely done and happy that it was over, and you were then able to carry on with your life. and I reacted to it with a somber answer, when really I was devistated and went to the first shelter I could find. I am sorry. I would like it if you came over and visited though.. you can do your laundry. I miss you. I think that the girls had fun. We watched Finding Neverland, with Johnny Depp. You would like it. Call me or something if you want. love J

My response to Jason:

I am sorry if I ever conveyed that message. Like you, I too, am finding ways to cope. Mine happens to be withdrawing from the situation completely, because to think about it is "devastating".

Jason I am begging you to take a pro-active role in our relationship. Don't be so passive, there are things that need to be done daily for a relationship to succeed. We have some time invested in this and ...I would like to see things work. ...but, they don't just happen on their own. I have said it before, love is not a feeling ...love is a decision and a commitment that you choose everyday. How committed are you to me? I assure you that I am just as committed as the day I moved to Indiana and, still, very much in love with you. I want to share my life with you and I can not promise you that I can keep all the troubles and trials out of our relationship ...but I will be there to go thru them with you and ...wipe your tears.

Jason, tell me what I do that conveys "love" to you. I always thought that you knew how much, but I have decided you and I have very different thought processes. What can I do to show you I care? For example, although you can not understand my reasons, when you take care of the house that conveys love to me. When you do not, I feel like I am not important and ...unloved. The house is an extension of the woman and, with you, I do not feel that extension is "secure" ...How can we build an intimate loving relationship, that we both desire, on shaky foundation? I am not asking you to understand this, ...just validate it. If I feel it ...IT IS.

What makes you feel loved?

Sodamites?

2005-05-10T13:09:00.000-04:00

Moving into my new house has had some "interesting" twists. It's rental prop and the couple that lived there before me moved out rather quickly. So ...I have been cleaning up the debris and peicing together their rocky road bit by bit. When I moved in I was given a brief history of the young couple. Although both practicing to be ministers, I think maybe we were all assuming something a little different.

Last week I was snooping OOPS! I mean cleaning out the mailbox. I waitted 2 weeks for them to stop by and get their mail or have the addy changed ...when they didn't I assumed it was "open game" ...and yes, JQP, I am aware that is a felony;) ...Now lets see what these strange folks have been up to. There was a tremendous amount of junk mail and information on stem cells ...I'm pretty sure, by the looks of the bathroom, they were trying to clone something. Then there was a letter from Walmart. Apparently this Christian couple saw nothing wrong with "coveting" Walmarts goods (..after all, they weren't walmarts neighbor). The old song "take it on the run" comes to mind ...as they are long gone and I'm pretty sure walmart will never receive the $$ for the $200 "theft fine".

If I were them I would have stolen this list ...because there is NO WAY I could have went thru the line with all this:

1. Suppositories $1.28
2. Castor Oil $1.97
3. Equate Lax $2.94
4. Petrol Jelly $ .96
5. Min Maid $1.18

**I Found this receipt under a box of condoms left in the upstairs bathroom**

WTF?

2005-05-06T08:15:00.000-04:00

As most of you know ...the rockstar and I have parted ways. ...A mutual decision with hopes that we would one day find a way to be together again. If you've been reading you are aware that I moved out on Sat. ...and his ex gf helped to "comfort" him on Sunday. I would like to post a few emails being sent and someone please tell me ...am I over-behaving again and treating him
unfairly?

I said:

Date: Thu, 5 May 2005 12:53:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: Strawberrie Shortcake
To: codking54

you can not begin
to comprehend
what you have done
to me... us.

He said:

Codking54
Date: Thu, 5 May 2005 18:39:42 EDT

Well ok your right. but i haven't stopped loving you. and i miss you. please don't let one of my personal mistakes, while we were apart, stop us from loving each other when we are together. I am sorry that you were hurt. I was trying to help me not hurt you. if you don't wanna talk to me again, I understand. yet, if you wanna call you can. I hope that you do....i will be waiting for it this time. loving you right now j

I said:

Date:
Fri, 6 May 2005 05:04:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: Strawberrie Shortcake
Subject:
Re:
To: Codking54

Don't be so self-centered. This was not just "a personal mistake" ...you have involved 4 other people in your "personal mistake" ...I will suffer, as well as "my daughter", tish (the ex) and tim (her fiance'). ...So don't think for a second it is a "personal mistake" ...you are taking a boat load of people down with you.

Furthermore, I would not classify us as "apart" ...I was trying to be an adult and neutralize a situation that had gotton out of control ...but you are always in my heart and on my mind.

And, how could you possibly think that making love to another woman was "keeping you from hurting me" ...you have a very disturbing thought process.

I highly doubt you will be "waitting" for me. I've seen how long you can "wait" ...wasn't impressed.

You have hurt me J. I never ever thought something like this was possible out of you. I feel like I don't know you at all. I'm disappointed.

and I said this:

What is realize is this-

I always thought that I was the "weak" one in our relationship ...but that's just not true. You belittled me and made me feel like I was less than you ...and I am not. You are unsure of yourself and can not be alone ...You need someone, anyone, to validate you. I am no more special than any girl has ever been in your life -and they, no more special than I ...You need someone to "comfort" you and any arms will do. To me, that is pathetic ...and sad.

You have preached about honesty since this relationship started ...however, you are still not being completely honest with me ...until you can bare your soul and tell me every last little detail ...I can not trust you.

Tish was not something that "just happened" ...thoughts of her have weighed us down for a long time ...and that's one of the main reasons I live here now. Thanks for bringing in into light for me. Had you not been so blantantly obvious I would have never imagined it...

You just don't get it Jason. You can not see "the big picture" ...you just roam around the concession stand and never get the full effect of the theater ...it's massive and powerful. What we have is great ...but it barely skims the surface. The sequel is awesome ...but it takes time and effort to get there. You have to figure out what you want in life and commit to it. I invested everything I had left in you... You were my forever ...I feel violated and betrayed by you ...like all that, everything we've done to be together was in vain ...and in the end ...a lie. When you love someone jason ...When you are really in love with someone ...You can't do what you've done. ...the thought of another mans hands on me makes me ill ...I know it would make me physically sick to have sex with anyone but you ...and you found it in you to do it the day after I left ...that, to me, shows your true character.

Someone please tell me ...do you just walk away? and if so, how?

IT HURTS...

2005-05-05T12:19:00.000-04:00

As you all know ...yesterday was my big mommy/daughter date. ...Being away from each other through this move is really "trying" for both of us. I nearly cried when I finally got to hug her yesterday. We loaded up in the truck and went to the movies to see "coach carter" (awesome movie!) ...It lasted a little longer than I thought and we still had to eat supper. By the time our date had ended it was too late to stay the night where we had originally planned so ...we opted to "go see daddy" ...Maybe this wasn't the smartest move on my part, but we called in advance to make sure it was ok. ...although he was at a friends house playing cards he told us we were welcome and he would love to have us stay the night.

The house has really changed in the few short days we've been gone ...back to it's original "bachelor pad" ...complete with plenty of beer, love notes from girl(s) along with their special packages for him full of lotions and massagers ...I was, naturally, devestated to find in the 4 days I'd been gone my rockstar had already slept with 3 girls (one ex-gf and a threesome) ...in 4 days. ...How does this happen ...how do you do it that quick. I'm at a true loss for words today...

He tried to "redeem" himself and tell me that he just needed someone to comfort him ...to make it ok. YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT COMFORT? I've been alone in a house for 4 days, crying and drinking myself to sleep every night wondering how I will ever get over him and missing my daughter so bad it makes me physically sick. ...but I haven't called ANYONE for "comfort".

I know it seems bizarre that I am this devastated ...it does to me even. I am the one that left, ...but I left with every hope that we would someday find a way to be together.

I feel ...violated ...like I have no idea who he was or what his thoughts or feelings were towards our relationship ...because I can tell you ...it will be a long time (at least a week!) before I feel like "going out" with someone. I have never "distrusted" him or could even fathom this was in him ...It's unlike any message he's conveyed to me. This hurts ...deep down inside hurts.

HOWDY YA'LL!

2005-05-04T14:38:00.000-04:00

It's good to be back in the Bluegrass!

UPDATE: Sat. morn I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to load my big orange uhaul and hi-tail it back home. Although I had help loading, I had the priviledge of driving this thing. I'm sure it looked pretty commical ...as I could barely reach the pedals;) I drove back country roads for 2 hours trying to make my way back into KY ...by the time I got there I had quite a few red faced, road rage, pissed off people that were behind me the whole time! Who'd have thought so many people would take the same path I had ...seems like the least likely option ...as my path is generally the beat up rocky one that needs some serious clearing!

Not too much excitement (sadly) to report. I've been "hold up" in the house on the hill. Just trying to get things in order and perform a "one woman extreme home makeover" ...this house is seriously lost in the 80's! So far I've been "scoreing" a 3 foot section of wall for 4 days and have removed 3 strips of wallpaper ...hmmm ...this may take longer than i thought;)

It's been hard to adjust ...teenage daughter is trying to complete last month of school in Indiana ...so I only spend Wed. night with her through the week (THAT'S TONIGHT!!!) and she will spend the weekends with me in the new house. I didn't realize how much I like having her around ...I just take it for granted that she's always there and I need it to be that way. ...We will celebrate "just being together" by taking a break from life this weekend and heading to the river for a mini-vacate! ...but for now, I miss my girl.

**Don't forget this weekend is mothers day**
What are you getting? Giving?

p.s. HAPPY HUMP DAY!

SIT AND SPINZ

2005-04-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

I just realized what my life is missing and I would like to credit
Master Foley with this enlightening discovery!

I haven't been truly happy since childhood. I realized today, right this minute, that I haven't been happy since I outgrew my SIT-N-SPIN! It makes sense, doesn't it? After all, this toy could have you totally inebriated in a matter of minutes ....and it was FREAKING FREE, PEOPLE! I can remember being mad that I didn't get a happy meal or the last beer in the fridge and I would run in my room and slam my door ...and there is was in the middle of the floor ..just waitting to carry me away ...my sit and spin ...I would hop on and away we would go. I could spin that thing furiously for what was surely, at least, 7 minutes! Then fall back in the floor and close my eyes. ...It was mesmerizing and intoxicating. "I WANT MY SIT N SPIN BACK"

What was your favorite childhood toy?

Tuesdays Thought...

2005-04-26T11:32:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that "Colin Powell" ...sounds a lot like "Colon Pal" ...just an observation from the drunk chick in the corner;)

Terrific Tuesday Everyone (**says while trying to think of one positive thing ....struggling**)

HELP! I'VE BEEN ROBBED!

2005-04-25T12:39:00.000-04:00

Vandels! Scally-Waggs! Arrrrhhh ...when I find you I'll ...why I'll ....I'll report you to the nearest law enforcement officer (sorry ladies ...I was trying to locate pic of hot cop to post here -only came up with hotcops.com ...and now have history of porn use on work computer ..not worth the effort)

...Friday afternoon upon my departure I noticed, while moving an 80 pound roll of paper I procured from the newspaper back home (for packing my 57 glass chickens in the kitchen), that I no longer had a license tag on my truck. SOMEONE STOLE MY LICENSE TAG ...in broad daylight people ...and right before Thunder Over Louisville ..when I'm going to want to have a blast and every cop in town will be on duty to harrass me about not having a tag and being publicly intoxicated.

Do you know what you have to do when your tag is lost/stolen? Well ...if you live where I do you have to jump through hoops to get the attention of the receptionist at the police department and have her file a report for you. Then listen as she scolds you and describes what trick you are to perform next. I think my karma is all funked up right now ...two run ins with the law in one day ...However, ...I'd have much rather "done tricks" on the officer that pulled me over Friday morn ...as opposed to Hilda at the station. uuuuggghhh.

I wonder what the perp is doing with my tags right now? Probably a heinous crime that will be traced back to me ...I'll probably get some good "air time" for this...

MEMPHIS BELLE?

2005-04-22T08:06:00.000-04:00

Just when I wonder if my life can get any cooler ...IT DOES! It looks like I have been invited to a bachelorette party in MEMPHIS!! (they probably want me to strip or something) MEMPHIS PEOPLE!!! This is way to cool for me. Everyone knows you have to party in memphis at least once ...I'm SO SUPER PSYCHED about this trip. A road trip TO MEMPHIS ...with a truckload of girls! This will be commical I'm sure! I hope Rainbow can go. Now ...oh what will I wear (or not wear!!) I can't wait to go. It's not until June 18th so we have plenty of time to find the perfect "boogie shoes" ..AHHHH I LOVE THE NIGHT LIFE!

**On a side note** I was pulled over this morning by "a law enforcement officer" ...doing 70 in a 45! LOL, I hadn't even made it through town yet! As soon as I passed him I parked and waitted for him to register what just happened ...there was like a 3 second delay in the time that I blew by and parked and he turned on his lights to come after me. I had to laugh. At one point in my life I had so many speeding tickets the state of Ky was trying to take my license back ...HMMP! INDIAN GIVER! ...but I haven't had a ticket in years. So ...it took me back this morning. Our conversation was a bit interesting ...that and we were in the middle of the country ...not a soul around at 6:30 this morn ...When he explained to me that it was his birthday I just knew what was coming next ...I was going to have to give this man a "birthday blow job" to get out of this ...I was a little shocked when he said "and since it's my birthday I'm going to let you go with a warning" WOW! DARN THE LUCK OF SOME PEOPLE (...don't hate!) Be happy for me ...I'm a single mom (again!) I can't afford a ticket ...and at that rate of speed he could have hauled my moon pie to jail! ...I was a little disappointed that I didn't remember to take his pic with my handy cam to post *Here* for you ...he was kind of cute ...and smelled, oddly, of vegtable oil;)

BREAK OUT THE MOON PIES!

2005-04-20T13:03:00.000-04:00

Well ...Put some dogs on the grill and fire up the tiki torches ...I'M COMING HOME!!! I sure have enjoyed my time spent in Indiana and life with a real live rockstar has been pretty exciting ...but I miss my friends and family and my simple life in Kentucky.

It's hard to convey how I feel today. Bittersweet I guess. I moved here with intentions of forever ...forever turns out to be a little too long in this case. It's hard to leave someone who brought your world to life. We've done so much together in 2 short years. ...and dreamed a lot of big dreams. I am thankful for what the rockstar gave me and will always hold the good times near and dear and remember, I too, "partied like a rockstar" ...If only for a little while.

Life takes you all sorts of crazy directions sometimes just to lead you back where you started... It's feels good to go home.

Oh happy day!

2005-04-19T12:06:00.000-04:00

First, I must appologize for my boring post yesterday. I re-read this afternoon and I even had a hard time getting through it. I should have just said...I rocked to BFS and left it at that. So, sorry...not one of my finer moments!

So, today was my interview and I am so super psyched. I found out that not only would I have my own office (biggggg office) but I would also be able to modify my hours to what I want! Also...they will continue to let me attend any trainings I want, so more "business" trips like the one I'm about to attend will be in my future. Another big plus is that they reimburse me for up to 80% of college courses, so I will be able to finish my degree...FINALLY!

All this sounds great and I can't wait to talk to them next week when I return...then, we will discuss money. We all know thats what its really about. Are they willing to pay me what I believe I am worth and deserve??? Of course I think I'm worth BIG DOLLARS, I mean my butt sex post alone says that, right? ; ) I think my chances are good of getting what I ask for and I am so looking forward to talking to them next week and getting this finalized.

Hope you guys have a great week and PLEASE keep Strawberrie company, she will post later in the week I'm sure but she had a rough weekend and has been busy. Let's just say that what she will post has me on "cloud 9"! Not the whole story cause its not the best but the outcome...it's what I've been waiting over a year for! Oh and also tell her that she NEEDS to visit me in Lexington later in the week! ;)

Bowling for Soup and SO MUCH MORE

2005-04-18T15:17:00.000-04:00

This Saturday I got to get out of the house for a little fun...nothing like I plan on having later this week in the big city but still I got out. The band
Bowling for Soup whom I love happened to be playing at a local college so I make the trip up to L'ville ready to party. Bad thing is...it was a baptist college and alcohol is not allowed on school grounds. Then to make matters worse we go eat at Qdoba and they only have bottled beer, no other malt drinks. I really wasn't in the mood for beer, that usually doesn't come until later in the night...after the hard liquor. Remember "liquor before beer..." Sure you do. Problem is, I didn't get either and had I known I would've suffered with the bottle stuff just to get a little buzz at least. I especially would have, had I known I would be thrown into a freakin' mosh pit with a bunch of kids who were barely of legal age, much less drinking age. Those people are down right crazy! Who wants to get shoved so hard they fall back into the big stinky guy behind you???

So anyway, we get there after the first two bands perform and with a name like "Riddlin Kids" I don't think we missed much. The band just before BFS was called American Hi-Fi and I thought they were really good. They have songs on the soundtracks of the American Pie trilogy...pretty good stuff. When they were finished we stood around waiting for BFS to take the stage and pretty much laughing at how young the kids looked. Why does it seem that the older you get the younger everyone else is? These college kids looked and acted like I did in high school. Just makes me wonder if when I'm 40 or 50 if they will seem like 1st graders???

Then, the boys took the stage and somehow I was disgusted and turned on at the same time, how is that possible? Well, it is possible because one of their guitarist, Chris is an easy 350 lbs of tattooed ickiness and the drummer, Gary is the quiet, bangin' the heck out of the drums type who was suprisingly hot in person. Maybe it was because there was not that much to look at but he totally turned me on. Drummers have always been my preference AND he had that sexy little patch of hair on his chin, there is something about that...SEXY! It's probably a good thing that I don't get to see many live concerts, I'd imagine being a roadie would be tough with a family and all. ;)

Oh yeah, wish me luck for my interview tomorrow...and that I make it back from my big party...ummm I mean business trip. LOL

YAHTZEE!

2005-04-14T08:21:00.000-04:00

Saturday evening ...after I could walk again (*see yesterdays post) some friends called and invited me to a night out with the girls. Now ..before you go picturing wild women dancing on bar tops and consuming every drop of alcohol they can get their lips on ...let me give you the scenerio;) They called to ask if I would like to BINGO! HA! We're "twenty something" hot chicks (again, it is healthy to have a positive self image!) and we have nothing better to do on Sat. night than sit in a smokey bingo hall and get dirty looks from the "purple headed people eaters" (a.k.a -crotchety old women with purple hair). OKAY! Sounds like fun, I'M IN!

As I was preparing for the "my big night out" one of my girlfriends stopped by ..so, of course, we had to fret about what we were wearing for an hour and make a huge deal out of NOT EVER HAVING ANYTHING TO WEAR (hey master, betcha like the sound of that, didn't ya??) ...the rockstar, becoming increasingly perplexed asks, "and what kind of bingo are you going to" ...LOL, we just like to be the "best dressed" (I think that stems back to growing up too poor to EVER be best dressed) ...Had we only known what our fellow bingo goers were wearing maybe we could have toned it down a sequin or two;)

3 hours later -we were off (and feeling pretty lucky I might add) Dressed to the nines in shimmer shirts and sparkly pointy heels (it's all about the shoes AND JEWELS!!!) we had to ask for directions several times before our arrival ...and we got some pretty strange looks from people when we asked about the bingo hall (Do you think we're over-dressed?)

We finally locate this place - Behind a Big Lots in what looks to be an abandoned building with no sign at all ...it looks like a secret club ...HOW EXCITING!! I grab the handle to the door, my pulse quickens and palms are sweaty ...ahhh yeah ..this is it ...by the time we leave here tonight ladies, we'll be high rollers ...or at least I will, I put a HEX on you before we left the house;) I open the door and might as well have walked in with a big bleeding gash down my face -attack of the purple headed people eaters!! ...Relax old folks, don't hate ....Not everyone can wear this kind of get-up to bingo, I know;)

We buy our cards and after a brief explanation from the smoking amazon at the door we found a seat ...now, I'm very social ...and I love to talk ...so immediatly we start cutting up and having our usual blast ..not really paying attention to our surroundings and posing for pics with our bingo cards. Laughing all the way! Then we realize "bingo boy" (security) is headed our way. OK, Time to get serious ...SERIOUS HEXING ...Do you ever wish bad for other people and just ...not really feel that bad about it? After the first round (not first, we missed first ...late comers) I was pretty into it and I really wanted to win "Please God, Let me win ..I could do this this and this ...and so and so doesn't need it ..she'd just waste it" LOL, I had to sit back and laugh, I am in a gambling facility - PRAYING! ..and not only am I praying, I'm praying that God does not bless my friends, but chooses me instead! WTF kind of friend is that?

One round was "coverall bingo" ..apparently this is where you cover every number on the game. They were only going to call odd numbers so we were supposed to go ahead and "dot" all the even ones ...I'm "dotting" like crazy trying to gt all my even numbers covered before the game begins ...LOL, then I realize no one else is ...no one else is ...because this was a separate game on a small playing piece ..not the 36 square piece game i was working on! hee hee hee, I probably one that night and don't even know it.

I really had a hard time keeping up ..being a new-by and all ...then i started thinking about blind people playing bingo (for whatever reason!) They have created brail everything these days ...Why not brail bingo ...and if so ..how does it work? I can just imagine all those old blind people running their fingers over 36 squares of coverall! YAHTZEE!!

"CRISCO" - BUTT BASTE OF CHOICE;)

2005-04-13T07:48:00.000-04:00

I was in a rather generous mood on Saturday. I'm not really into "butt sex" at all but, to my understanding, it drives boys wild. ...so every now and then (not so now ..more so then) I indulge the rockstar in a little "freaky leaky love" ...We were all alone without a kid around so I gave into his pleading. ...but first, "I'll need some lubricant" ...and do you know why it's called Lubri-CANT? ...because if you don't have any -You CAN'T do it! ...Fresh out ...ALL OUT! Not a single drop (that could be tied back to a previous blog;) So immediately the rockstar starts shouting out all the everyday household products we can use: tanning lotion, wd-40, body wash ...the list goes on and on ...the most bizarre was "mayonaisse" ...sounds like he's done this before;) Then he had a revelation, "Let's use cooking oil" ..that just might work! The conversation went something like this:

ME: Whoa, wait a minute ...you want me to take fat from a dead animal and put it in my butt so that you can have sex THAT I DON'T EVEN WANT TO HAVE? NO WAY!!

HIM: NO, it's ok ...it's vegetable oil

ME: So ...let me get this straight ...you want to take a bushel of beans and press the oil out of them and put that in my a** so that you can do this

HIM: I don't think it'd take a whole bushel

ME: You under estimate the butt!

So, I begrudgingly agree and he skips down stairs for the oil (LOL, could I make him sound any gayer? Butt sex and skipping! He'd be flabergasted if he ever read this -HA! Flabergasted ... instant "gayness") He comes back upstairs carrying a shotglass full of veg. oil! ...Now I'm cracking up! I guess you had to be there and from your point of view at this point you probably want to vomit, but it was really quite commical;)

But ..I ws starting to have second thoughts ...I was just a little concerned that this could cause some damage internally ..or give me some kind of booty cooties. I mean, what if I had to go to the doctor ...I was just playing the converation over and over in my head:

DR: I think I see the problem. Ms.Shortcake, Have you been putting animal fat or veg. oil in your butt? **They would have to recognize, they probably see this stuff all the time**

ME: Well ..yes DR. Is that a problem?

DR: What would make you think it is ok to put veg oil in your butt?

ME: That's my loser rockstar boyfriend **I mean, what am I supposed to say???**

So, here's the deal ...I did the deed, but If for whatever reason, I end up having to go to the Dr. The rockstar has to buy me a new outfit for my pain and suffering ...but mostly the embarrasment from hearing the Dr say "Have you been having butt sex"

What about you ...What's your favorite lubri-CANT?

TERRIFIC TUESDAY!

2005-04-12T09:17:00.000-04:00

...anything has got to be better than Monday. Yesterday morning I woke up so exhausted I took:

2 excedrine (for the hangover and caffiene boost)
Levelle (for my cold and legal ephedra)
2 Hydroxy cuts (for this fabulous bod I have not and ...again ..legal ephedra)
and 14 dr. pepper (because I wanted them!)

And after smoking my mid morning crack -I WAS WIRED! by noon, my nerves were so nervous I had wore myself out and had to take a nap;)

Week-end Recap:

Friday Morn I played hookie (not hooker, that was last friday;) and loaded up all 10 kiddos in the mini bus for a road trip!! Okay, not really a road trip ...we drove 45 mins. to meet rainbow bright and her family at KY Kingdom/Six Flags. After spending $60 on a picnic lunch we were in (no wonder boys never want to take us on picnics -too many dollars!) We had a good day full of whining, crying and sweaty underpits (for me anyway, I underestimated the temp -by 40 degrees) We saw the "Eric Houdini Show" ...I somehow ended up on stage where he tried to cut my head off and accidentally took by bra off instead ...I knew I shouldn't have worn the studded leather ...I think it was a bit much for such a G-Rated show. It was good to just hang out with the kids and r.b. (I love that girl!!) ...and I love our kids. It's sad to watch them all growing up, but it's neat to see the wonderful people they are turning into. We are very blessed.

Friday night I drove an hour in the opposite direction to drop my load of joy (hmm ...maybe you boys are thinking that could mean something besides my truck full of kiddo's) at my momma's house ..and I would like to say here "thank goodness for moms" -I NEEDED A DRINK! Turned around and drove a very fast hour back to Louisville to meet rockstar at comedy caravan for drinks -and a "hypnotic show' -I was more mesmorized by the drinks;) Heres where things get interesting. Being raised a by a very very conservative family -okay ...prejudice family. I have never been attracted to black men. Not that I am prejudice myself ..because I am so not and it infuriates me that my family members are. ...but it was just not a road that I journeyed. Never really even thought about it ...we all have certain tastes and ...mine was just not chocolate. However, I am quite certain I have been infected with JUNGLE FEVER! OH SISTER, let me tell you there was one fine speciMAN of a black fella at this place ...just cut up and chisled out and had the personality of a true playa' (girls, you know you like them!) The hypnotist asked him to "perform" on stage as if he were in an adult film ...this man ...made my mouth water and left me aching for more. ...I'm quite certain I could have boogied with him all night long (and long it was) YES'A ...He was one HOT BROTHER! ...and you know the rockstar has not let me live it down;)

What's your flavor?

My Jerry Springer Moment

2005-04-05T11:35:00.000-04:00

So, this has been saved as a draft for a week...guess, I can post it now!

This actually happend a couple of weeks ago but since I am still dealing with the mess, I thought I would share. Some of you may remember my blog about my car accident the week before Christmas when I slid down an icy hill, smashed into a dividing wall then finally came to rest against a guardrail which was the only thing keeping me from plunging 30 feet to my certain death. Well, after a grand total of $8,000, and 30 days later, I had my SUV back. This one traumatized me greatly because I just knew I was doomed! Course, I escaped with not even a scrape...unless you count my damaged ego from everyone laughing at me and telling me that I can't drive. Oh well, on with the story... So, last month I'm in the drive thru line at Mc D's ordering when I look in my rear view mirror to find this car backing up...I yelled at the chick to stop as I tried to move up but the ditz didn't stop and she backed right into my freshly painted bumper, scratching it all to hell. I didn't notice it at the time but right as she was backing up, the manager from Mc'D's is running out the door to the car, screaming, "Get the F*** out of that car, right now!" She then proceeded to begin beating on the window of the car that just hit me, all the while screaming, "what the $%*&@#" and "Is that bitch carrying you baby or somethin?" From the car emerges the scraggliest looking fellow I've ever seen, with his head hung down in shame. The two love-birds then ride off into the sunset, leaving me pissed off with scratches on my bumper and the trashy chick who hit me with dents in her door.

So, the police were called to file a report and guess what??? Girl, doesn't have proof of insurance...imagine that! "Of course I have it officer, I just left my husband in Ohio and didn't get a new card." Yeah, whatever! So, she is sited for the violation and we go on our way...me finally getting food and her going back to the trailer park she came from. So, I get my estimate...$488 and deliver it to the county attorney's office in hopes they add it to her charges so she will have to pay me when she pays her court costs. That would be all fine and good...IF she appeared! She did not, so now there is a warrant out for this 21 year old and my truck STILL isn't fixed.

Other than that mess...I might be following in the footsteps of a fellow blogger and moving on to a new job. This prospect sounds even better, given the recent events around this place. If the job comes thru, I will hit the ground running and not look back but we'll see what happens and I'll keep you guys posted cause I know how much you care. ;)

Oh and sorry I've left the job of keeping you all up to date up to Strawberrie alone but between this job and being sick for over a week, I'm lucky to be here now. I do miss you all though and try to check in with you daily, even if I don't comment.

Disgruntled Worker?

2005-04-01T08:06:00.000-05:00

Have you ever worked with someone that ...just does not know what they are doing, does not have a clue about the way the business is run and creates so much additional work for you that you want to back over them in your SUV after work? ...Well, that person is me. Really! I am in a position that ...I really feel a little small for. It's quite troublesome for me because it undermines my exceptionally high self esteem;) and really really annoys the 3 boys I work for. First of all, in my defense, I would like to say that I am generally a high achiever ...on average;) and I really strive to learn the business and make sense of it all ...IT IS JUST SO FOREIGN TO ME! ...and honestly, I am not the brightest crayon in the box. So, as you can imagine some days are more stressful than others and since I am learning ...everyone tries to be patient. However, there are days that patience is a virtue we're not alloted.

This week a problem arose. A small problem but an ENORMOUS one for me to solve on my own. I won't focus on the problem (did I mention I have a problem focusing?) but would rather look at the chain of events it caused here at the workplace. I think by asking for help with this situation some underlying hostilities came to surface ...and, In this guys defense, I completely understand those frustrations ...I'd be fed up with me too;) ...anyway, a couple of "nasty-grams" were sent via email regarding my imcompetance. I got my feelings hurt (because I've got those stupid girl "feelings") and someone thought an "apology" was in order ....guess he saw my big ol' tears via the camera he had installed UNDER MY DESK. This is where things get interesting:

THE TRUCE: After lunch my co-worker (if I'm not really a "worker" does that still make him a "co-worker"???) presents me with a beautiful chocolate cross from the candy store down the street (this is like dreamo-supremo choco- ...best you ever had!!) ...but, sits it upside down on my desk ...I asked "What's that supposed to mean" His reply "I think it's supposed to be the sign of the devil" ..hmm ..ok, does he mean i'm like the devil or is he cursing my desk or what? Then he asks "Don't you feel strange about eating "the cross" ...WTF? It's a freaking piece of chocolate what do you expect me to do? -Plant it in my front yard and kneel before it every morning? ...During this same time, my boss brings in another piece of chocolate ...(cause he ROCKS! -when he's not being an a**) This one is a cute little teddy bear -then co-worker #1 says "Hey, lets tie the teddy bear to the cross" ....Now, do you see why I drink so much? What is wrong with this picture? Do normal people behave this way?

Anyway, say a little prayer for me today that God sends some brains down here to me -EXPRESS DELIVERY PLEASE! I am dying here ..and really, I'd like to keep my job ..I sort a like the boys;)

OH HAPPY DAY!

2005-03-31T08:27:00.000-05:00

I had a gorgeous drive in to work today ...the weather is absolutely fabulous outside! I had my windows rolled down and the fresh air was ...renewing. After exiting the interstate I realized that my radio was still "interstate noise level" and I was jamming to "I'll Fly Away" ...One of my all time favorite hymns;) Then I imagined how confused some people would be about those lyrics ...as Christians we sing of dying all the time and to say "Hallaleujah when I die" might be ...a little morbid for some. Do you find it strange that we sing hymns about dying ...and what's worse, those same hymns make us happy?

D.M.V

2005-03-30T12:57:00.000-05:00

It seems
John Q. Public and I share more in common than just the love of polyester and 24 "film stores". John just received a license to drive in the great state of INDIANA! As did I! I moved here from Ky last year ...and have been driving on my Ky license ever since ...until it expired in February:( I had put it off as long as I could. I'm usual a "safety citizen" ..Honest, I AM A LAW-ABIDER! However, I do not have good test taking skills and panic under pressure ...I am 29 years old ...I didn't want to have to admit, as JQP did, that I had failed my drivers test. So, I studied nights on end ...hyped up on tequila and cigarettes and finally made my way down to the D.M.V. **I'd like to stop here and ask a question. ...If a place does not open till 8 and it is 30 degrees below 0 outside ...why are there 15 senior citizens waitting in line outside the door at 7:50? ...They don't have anywhere else to go anyway, why the rush to be first in line?** I sat down at the test area and noticed several young people I knew ..pretty well. My palms began to sweat and a wave of nausea swept over me ..then I hear "Don't worry Ms. "my name" ..."you'll do fine" ...it seems some of the students I substitute at the high school were also taking there drivers test ..GREAT! I soooo can not fail this test in front of them. The first one in ...the last one to leave, a panic attack and 4 wrong answers later ...I am now the proud holder of a valid drivers license;) Stressful times...

Mr. "Not So" Wonderful

2005-03-30T12:26:00.000-05:00

Mr. "Not So" Wonderful is NOT AT IT AGAIN! I love my rockstar with all my heart and soul ...so much it disgusts me on the inside ...but he is a lazy S.O.B. I'm sure you all know, as women, we exxagerate ...and when we say "I can't get him to do anything" ...that often means that we are working him like a dog from sun-up to sun-down and get upset because he's taken a beer break or flat past out from exhaution ...but when I say "I can't get anything" ...I MEAN IT! I am very particular about my home, I like things to like ...ummm ..Southern Living;) ...and, although i hate to admit it, the only Southern in our home is me. My rockstar boyfriend, although usually, very affectionate ..is L-A-Z-Y. He built our cabin from scratch ...or at least "started building" 5 YEARS AGO ...AND IT IS STILL NOT DONE! We've had an "uninstalled"dishwasher for 3 months, wood has been in my bathroom for a year waitting to be put around a jacuzzi tub, I still don't have a yard ...although, he did say he looked for flowers for me while he was out riding his bike this week ....I DON'T WANT ANY EFFING FLOWERS UNLESS THEY ARE IN MY WELL LANDSCAPED YARD! ...the list goes on and on of things that never get done. He's a super great guy. Very loving and he keeps me laughing ...when im not totally p'o'ed about the house ...but I WANT OUR HOME DONE and I LOVE HIM BETTER THAN CAT LOVES CREAM;) How can you love and dislike someone so much at the same time? We really have an awesome life together ...and are totally blessed with wonderful family and friends and ...generally just get to do a lot of cool stuff together ...but the house is causing some serious issues. ...like this one for instance:

I'm pretty sure I'm developing a crush on my boss ...not because he is super hot or anything ...and not everyday ...just pretty much the days he is not being an a** ...because on the days he is not ..he's a pretty smooth fella;) I mean, ..no worries or anything ...he's totally married ..for like EVER ...and very dedicated to this girl (COMMITTED TO GIRL, HUGE TURN ON!) ...not to mention, affairs with married men ...ARE TOTALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE TO ME and I LOVE MY ROCKSTAR BETTER THAN CAT LOVES CREAM!!! ...but ...he is such a motivated guy (NOTE TO ALL MEN: MOTIVATION IS A HUGE TURN ON!!!) He is a real go-getter and handy in the house ...from what I gather ...she loves him and runs on the treadmill (to keep her in shape for him, of course) in exchange for: Dinner, laundry, car detailing, trash pickup, landscaping, what i'm sure is awesome sex (he works out) and gratuities. I mean he does everything ...with zero complaints. ahhhhh ...what a guy. ...But ...my rockstar sure does love me good and ...for the first time ever I am totally trusting and loving him back.

There Goes Peter Cotton-Tail

2005-03-29T07:48:00.000-05:00

Another Easter has come and gone ...this was quite possibly the coldest Easter I have ever celebrated ...and rainy. ...I think the angels in Heaven were rejoicing;) We got up bright and early to make sunrise service ...which we still did not make ...but were on time for our regular scheduled service. We generally sit with the rockstars friends from school ...a bunch of good ol' boys, ...but a little rowdy this Easter Sunday ...Apparently someone found girl scout cookies and stoled them from the childrens church ...they were being sold individually over the pews to the highest bidder ...THESE ARE GROWN MEN YA'LL! ...and I was a little embarrassed to find our "offering money" had been used to barter with the muffin man 3 rows back;) After church, although headed to the traditional "family dinner", we stopped at O'Charleys for appetizers with the YaY-Hoos from church. DE-LISH! Then we were off again. It was good to see my family all together. I am very blessed to be able to call these people kin.

On a side note ...I noticed something very peculiar this morning ...I think my eyebrows are growing ...they appear longer than usual ...and I'm not sure just how to handle this problem. Any suggestions?

AE ADDICT

2005-03-24T15:05:00.000-05:00

Hi my name is, "my name", and I am addicted to American Eagle. ...No kidding, I love that store and it is really causing a lot of anxiety. I am becoming ...a mall rat. ...and I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR THAT HOBBY;) Last week I bought a little duo for church, imagine the mans surprise when I excitedly said "Look what Jesus brought for me" ( I was on a no-spending spree, I couldn't tell him I bought it!!! Well, I'm confessing my sins today ...and ..practicing for my speech tonight ...I figure if I tell everyone I know that I just spent $150 on one outfit ...that by the time I get home and have to tell the man it wont sound half as bad;) What's your weakness, where does all your cash go?

I LOVE MY NEW TRUCK!

2005-03-22T09:36:00.000-05:00

COME ON EVERYBODY! COME SEE MY NEW TRUCK!

http://www.suzukiauto.com/sr_05/grand_vitara/

STRESS RELIEF

2005-03-22T07:49:00.000-05:00

Stress got to you? Ready to relieve some of the anxiety of the daily routine? Find comfort in bubble wrap? Visit the following link! I suggest the Manic version;)

http://www.nata2.info/humor/flash/bubblewrap.swf

LUCKY AS A LEPRECHAUN

2005-03-17T09:17:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Pat's Day my little leprechauns;) This St. Pat Morn was spent the same as many Patty Morns before ...nursing my "Pre-Pat Party" Hangover and hearing my 80 y.o grandmother yell "Top O' the Mornin to You" while running little round men in green thongs and suspenders out of my bed ...My grandmother calls me at 7 am every morning (aside from weekends and the twice a year she oversleeps) and every St. Patricks Day she entertains me with the story of how Patrick chased all the snakes from Ireland and that's how he became such a saint thus creating the first alcoholic in the Sullivan family ..my family. My Great Great Grandpa Guy Sullivan and his wife Annie sailed across the ocean from Ireland to America on a trunk (trunk full of Irish whiskey probably) ...well they came over on a boat but spent much of the time sitting on the trunk they brought with them;) ...I am curious as to what caused this migration from Ireland and, honestly, feel a little cheated that I have lived half my life as a drunk crack whore in Ky when could have been truly accepted somewhere else... I am, However, feeling a little lucky today ...First of all ..I am Irish ...and drunk ...and wearing green thongs today that, quite possibly, will be seen by an office full of men by days end ...After all, I AMMM drinking;) Now ...surely I'll get a free lunch out of the deal ...how could a gal get any luckier!! And who knows, maybe I'll drink up enough courage to ask my grandmother for that trunk (i've been dying for) AGAIN! Happy St. Pat's - Bottoms UP! ...Or in my case, Down;)

Senseless Fashion Sense

2005-03-16T12:04:00.000-05:00

UGGGHHH ....I looked so cute when I left the house this morn (again, it is positive to have healthy self esteem!) I wore white (WINTER WHITE, PEOPLE) pants, sassy high boots and a green wool sweater that makes my eyes sparkle. I was feeling pretty good till I realized my green wool sweater must contain some black threads that keep shedding down on my white pants and ...of course, landing in my nether region ...WTF ...I look like I forgot to shave this morning ...and it just keeps growning and growing... I've been sitting at my desk with my scissors "trimming" ..Just to see if anyone notices;)

"GET ON OUTTA H'YERE"

2005-03-15T07:41:00.000-05:00

When I am in the right mood -I will argue about anything ...and in the wrong mood, I will argue about everything ...but in the end, I'm always laughing about what I was mad about in the first place. ...Which takes me back to last Friday.

I love children, I have one of my own (13y.o.g) ..but always dreamed of having a house full. My baby maker is no longer funtioning so I resort to "slumber parties" to fill the extra floor space. Last Friday night I invited 8 kids over ...ages ranging from 6 months to 7 years old. I thought we'd make some crafty little things, play board games, pig out, do some whip its and dance till dawn! I LOVE THIS STUFF! ...I knew that dinner would be rushed and I would get home as everyone was being dropped off ...so I resorted to hot dogs and macaroni's ...I know, who eats hot dogs anymore ..I've been informed it is no longer acceptable ...However, it was a food staple when I was a kiddo ...along with the bottle of gin I had hid under my bunk bed;) Anyway, I had purchased 2 packs of hot dogs and a big box of noodles to fix mac and cheese ...HO-MADE MAC AND CHEESE (I know, I ROCK!) ...When I came home I noticed the rockstar had already been into my hot dogs ....UUUUGGGGH! ...I had just enough ...so, you know, I was a little upset already ...so I am rushing thru supper and he's really annoying me (no reason, I was just easily annoyed by him that night) and I lay a plate of hot dogs on the table and tell my 4 y.o nephew "Do Not Touch-They are Very Hot and Will Burn You" ...So naturally, the minute I turn my head he grabs one ...Poor little fella burnt his mouth up ...The rockstar smarts with "I bet his momma would'a never given him a HOT dog" ...UUUUGGGH Again -My sister is most rocken and there's some comp. there ...don't egg it on! What an A**! Next he's dipping in my mac and cheese (agian, this is for the children and he's supposed to be leaving and with his last comment ...I'm a little more annoyed than initially) ...so I take my "big momma sized spoon" and flick a little (OKAY-WHOLE LOT) of mac and cheese on his shirt and tell him to "Get on out a H'yere" (sorta jokingly, sorta not) This is when he gives me a big ol' bear hug FROM BEHIND and smears the mac and cheese from his sweatshirt into my hair. I'M LIVID -So obviously, this is not the time to pick a fight (with 8 kiddo's in the house) ...I grab a scrunchie and flip my hair up into it ...cheese and all and tell him how much I love him and how I can't wait to kick his A** for that stunt when he gets home ...so my question is ...Why didn't I just let him have a little mac and cheese? I had like 2 lbs. I am just soooo rotten;) Wouldn't a hurt nothin' -I just didn't want to (says with much brattiness!!)

MEET AND GREET

2005-03-14T12:03:00.001-05:00

I would like to introduce all of you to my very good friend

FishmanHe's new to the blog world, a fantastic writer and awesome guy. Go on over to his place and spread some freaky linky love;)

PASS THE JACK, PRAISE JESUS

2005-03-14T11:02:00.000-05:00

Where have you been? I've been looking all over the virtual world for you! -It's good to be back here. My "down time" was longer than I had anticipated ...hard to believe it's been almost 2 weeks since I've been able to visit you! I've had lots of excitement the past 2 weeks and I made a mental note to blog about each event ...but I think the smoke and alcohol I consumed at the catholic church burnt those cells up;) I love my life when the atmosphere changes and I get to view things from another angle... The rockstar informed me 2 weeks ago that he had purchased tickets for us to visit a catholic comedy show ..WTF? I agreed to go only after he explained that I would be well fed and inebriated by nights end... I really thought that it was just a myth that the catholics drank so heavily. I just assumed that because they served wine at communion the baptists got all holy and caused a ruckass (sp?) Honey ...I walked into a fully stocked bar in the parrish hall ...WELL HELLO ...Pass the Jack, Praise Jesus! Can I get an Amen! These people know how to praise the Lord;) I had a great time ..the show was awesome ...and I thought it was a wonderful idea to allow the parents in the congregation a night out without having to congregate with the baptists in the bar on the corner;) ...Good Times, good times. I've come to find out that alcohol is a very important part of a catholics life ...for instance, one of the gentlemen I work with pays ALOT OF DOLLARS to send his daughter to a catholic school everyday ...However, before he can send her to said school he must pack her nutritious lunch ...because, although the school has an open bar they do not have a school cafeteria or the means to serve the children a hot plate. ...Wish my parents could've afforded to send me to that school ..forget the lunch ma ...I'll be drinkin' my plate today...Hallelujah!

Gone Fishin'

2005-03-09T15:11:00.000-05:00

This is just to let everyone know that we did not disappear, we are just not able to blog or (and this is the worst) surf the blogs of all of our fav bloggers. I have been in a grant training class for the last two days and now I must get caught up on some things here. SS is still without internet connection in her new office but has been told she should be up by Friday afternoon. She will have a lot of reading to catch up on so she may not have time to update here also. However, I think she might have lots to type about when she can...I haven't even had a chance to ask her about her weekend of parties with the Catholics. That couldn't have been boring!

We miss all of you and look forward to getting things back to normal next week.

Perfect Me!

2005-03-04T16:03:00.000-05:00

Like I said, I am addicted to this OkCupid place. I have taken about a dozen quizes but when I took this one, I just knew I had to share it with you all. I got it all baby! Now, if the man in my life would just begin to realize that and treat me like the "Queen" that I am...

PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!
You scored 93 looks, 85 personality, 62 politics, and 93 sex drive!
You are beautiful, have a great personality, know youre politics, and have a high sex drive. You are the girl of any man's dreams. You know what you are doing in bed, you're fairly conservative, and you know how to treat your loved one. Men have been waiting for a girl like you all their lives. You probably know how to make sure that the ones you love are happy. You will make someone a great wife or girlfriend someday, if you haven't already. You're the kind of girl that everyone wants. You're probably fun in a conversation and I'm sure that you are as loveable as you are beautiful. You have a wonderful life ahead of you, make sure you live it to the fullest, and keep being the person that you seem to be.

Take the quiz here What Kind of Woman are You?

And you can remove the conservative comment...that is so not me. I don't have a conservative bone in my body. Unless of course you count...uh, nevermind.

Have a great weekend everyone!

I got the fever

2005-03-04T08:36:00.000-05:00

I am having "one of those" weeks again! Not horrible, just too busy for words. I have end of month, new month and 3 grant projects smacking me in the face. I just REALLY want Calgon to take me away...either that or a freakin' raise! I have been trying to keep up with all of my blog buddies but without SS online all day, sending me links or telling me to get my ass in gear with a post, it has been all but impossible. I did make it over to Ananonymousgirl where she introduced me to OkCupid This site is a blast. It is good to know that I am only 68% slutty and that I am a Random Brutal Love Master I really anticipated the slut factor would have been higher. Not that 68 isn't high and not that I want it to be higher...just want it to be right. We all need to know just how slutty we really are, don't we?

So, other than that I'm on this Spring Fever kick. I am so sick of snow, sub-freezing temps and I wanna head to the river! Some of you might remember my talk of wanting to drop a few (okay, a few more than a few) and I haven't really done an update on that lately. So, I'm doing okay...not done but I see the light now. I've been fairly faithful to my kickboxing class and am still running when I can to prepare for my big race in April. I just have a tendency to gain and lose my motivation more times than I should and then I have to start all over. That is until I got a new Venus swimsuit catalog. Now, it is time for me to put the damn girl scout cookies down and get ready for bikini weather. Here is what I am going to be sporting this summer...

Just a few more miles, squats and crunches till I'm there! Well, maybe not all the way there since this chick has no hips at all and well...I've had two children, so they do exsist.

I am such a Summer person...I love the water, any water, the sun, skimpy bathing suits and a good REAL tan. Since having my daughter in 2003, this will be the first time I'm anxiously awaiting my return to the sun. Okay, so a lot of our guy readers have completely lost interest by now and are pretty much just staring at the bikini model...but for the girls (all 2 of you) you understand, right? Losing weight and getting into shape, especially having giving birth is not fun, nor easy. So, I am using this chick as my NEW motivation. I want this suit and I want to look half-way hot in it, so it is no more Dosi-Do's for me. I am currently Thin Mint free and feelin' okay about it. I want to be on the boat with SS, margarita in hand in my new blue bikini, flirtin' with all the hot boys...ahhh, the good ole' days!

Anyone else have the Fever? Spring, March Madness or whatever...I need a break!

Crazy B W

2005-03-02T12:26:00.000-05:00

"Yesterday Was Plain Awful..." (from the Annie Soundtrack;) I have been ...just livid for the past 2 days. ...Where to start ...hmmm ....Do you have a "fall back plan"? You know ...There's always that one person that you still have control over that is still, secretly, madly in love with you and despite anything you've done in the past would still take you back. ..I'm sure lots of folks do ...I did for a long time too. ...but this time someones fall back plan happens to be my rockstar ...UGGGH! For the past 2 years this girl has floated in and out of our lives. Initially I tried to be her friend ...invited her to the house ..told her she was always welcome to call ...Even when relationships end I believe people can still be friends without ill intention. ...It didn't take long to figure this chickie out ...she is manipulative and crafty. She plots and works everyday to her advantage and tries to stay "just close enough" and create just enough drama to hold interest. ...Now ...I understand that if a man loves you and is dedicated to you that you should let go of all jealousies and insecurities and just love him (blah blah blah, you people make me want to throw up in my mouth) I love my rockstar with all my heart and am more devoted and dedicated to him than any of the 10 (yes 10) men I have ever "related" with;) I can't just sit back and watch this b***** tempt my bf, just because she can. I mean, it doesn't hurt anything ...I don't think he has interest in her ...but it JUST MAKES ME MAD AND I'M THE GIRL SO I SHOULD HAVE MY WAY! I've never been this jealous of anyone and have been very good friends with "ex's" before ...but she un-nerves me and admittedly calls his cell phone to avoid talking to me (even though I tell her she is welcome to call him at home) NOT ON HIS CELL. Crazy B****, W****!I seriously dream up torture scenerios in my head for her ...like what I'd do "if i could" ...well ...I'd like to tie her up in a tree behind the house with barb wire and kick her in the crotch for a week and when I wasn't kicking her I'd leave my bedroom blinds open and make her watch me rock the rockstars world... UGGH ...I just really hate this week ...and I don't like to hate ...it's such a strong evil emotion. Tell me how you torture ...I may like your plan better;)

Old People

2005-02-28T10:44:00.000-05:00

Old people are funny ...Every Sunday I have the funniest little man and woman sit behind me at church ...you never know what they will talk about (I don't think they realize how loud they are) or how they think it is ok to "break wind" (as they call it) during service. Sunday was birthday day at our church. I'm not sure I understand the concept but if you have a birthday during the month of Feb. you are supposed to walk to the front of the church during the appointed time and put whatever change you have in your pocket in this little while church piggy bank ...then everyone does this cult like chant about your circle-ing the sun and waitting for the day you celebrate your b-day in Heaven ...very bizarre ..it's like you're offering God 53 cents for another year "Thanks Man, It's been real...

Anyway, apparently it was the old mans b-day ..the conversation went something like this:

Old man: Won't you take this change up thar' for me (jiggles what sounded like 36 cents)

Old woman: Hmmp ...I ain'ta takin' it for you ...you didn't take mine for me

Old man: Ain't that sorry ...I can't even walk today

Old woman: You ain't seen my ankle have ye'

Old man: Aww forget it ..it ain' worth another year here with you anyway...

Poor fella...

MY LIFE IS JUST "BATTY"

2005-02-25T14:37:00.000-05:00

...Sometimes I wonder if the rest of the world has mishaps and misfortunes like ours ...For instance, have you ever had one of these show up in your office?

I think it's time to re-negotiate my contract here. Hazerdous working conditions is surely cause for a raise;)

What creeps around your place?

Sis-Boom-Ball, Where's my Booty Call?

2005-02-25T08:31:00.000-05:00

Hee hee hee ...I was visiting
Ananonymousgirl this morning when she suggested I take, yet another, quiz ;) (Love you sister) ...Here are my results:

You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by
LOL!%20I%20use%20Yahoo%20to%20chat%20to%20Rainbow%20all%20day%20...Yahoo%20users%20know%20you%20can%20create%20a"

HELP!! MAYDAY, MAYDAY!

2005-02-24T10:10:00.000-05:00

So, I'm trying to post this cool banner made by dear Chellie and I guess I effed it up. Now, all our sidebar stuff is at the bottom...WTF??? I didn't do anything with the sidebar, why is it doing this? I know we have one or two puter people around here...help, please??? I even changed the template, thinking that would put things back to normal but noooo... I do like the new template, I just want to spice it up.

Any ideas?

I LOVE MY MOMMA!

2005-02-24T08:29:00.000-05:00

Ya'll my mother called last night while I was gone to the drug store (getting my little snow bunny more pain killers) to remind us that 3 people in Ky had been diagnosed with meningittis and that we could be, consequently, affected. ...I live in Indiana momma ...but maybe you should start taking a few precautions yourself ..God love her ..she's all right.

So ...I don't really know much about meningittis ...but I do have a question ...and try not to laugh or poke to much fun ...I just always wonder if i'm doing things the right way ...or how other people do them. I was raised by some pretty backwards people ...good folks, you know ...and we went to a Dr. that didnt believe in a lot of meds ...mostly home remedy's ...truth be told this guy worked out of the back of a vw van ...and I'm not sure now if he even WAS a Doctor. ...Do ya'll wash your hands EVERYTIME you go to the potty room? ...Because I don't ...and never if I'm at home ...unless i get a little splash up or something;) I figure those are my germs there ...I usually do when I'm out ...and sometimes at work (I have my own bathroom) ...I don't consider myself a "dirty girl" by any means but typically it depends where I am... I don't invest a lot in instant hand sanitizers ...I have a pretty good immune system (even after a bone marrow transplant) and am not sure that doesn't weaken the body's own defenses. I propose that after prolonged use your body might tend to rely on the sanitizer as opposed to it's own cootie killers. What are your thoughts?

Mean People

2005-02-23T07:53:00.000-05:00

The rockstar has told me on more than one occassion I am "too uppity" for our laid back little town. We live in the poorest county in the state because my honey likes the country life (destitution is what I call it). The general attitude of the population is pitiful ...there is not a lot of opportunity and people become depressed after years of making meth and smoking pot all day. I just felt the need to give a little background before telling this story so you could picture it more acurately...

We got in from New Orleans late Sunday night so I took Monday off. Monday I was going to spend checking on my family and friends and making sure everyone made it through their week without me ...I got out early to run some errands before making my rounds and I stopped by the post office (because you can't keep a mailbox longer than a week in the country) ...When I went in I spoke to the old man on the bench (yes the post office is the local hot spot where I live ...people actually hang out there) and gave him my big flashy smile (as usual) I put my key in the box and hear "They ain't no maaaail 'day" I said "okay well I'll try again tomorrow" (fast and friendly) He says (very slowly/not so friendly) "It's presidents day" So I respond "Well, Happy Presidents Day" and sort of chuckle. He says "How about, Happy you're a big fat dummy day" ...WTF? Happy You're a big fat dummy day??? Listen here mr. ...I just came back from Dixieland ...where the food was De-Lish ...if I'm packin' a few extra pounds I have a very valid excuse and further more "I AIN'T NO DUMMY" Hmmp ...mean unfriendly people.