Clear as a bell

I am sort of still spinning from my totally eventful weekend. I think the realization of my impending divorce hit me like a ton of bricks last week. A big thanks to SS and Becka for reminding me that this week would be SIX months of separation for me. Six long months and no real strides made either way...we were in a holding pattern. I was suffering, my kids were suffering and their was no real end in sight Until this weekend...

Almost-Ex picked up the kids Saturday afternoon as usual, he was keeping them for the night. I didn't have any real plans for the weekend but had been talking with WAY TOO CUTE firefighter for about a week and he has been "trying" to talk to me longer...I always resisted, hoping things would work out with my marriage. I actually even thought about setting him up with SS...until her and hot wake board boy hooked up again. He is just too nice of a guy and an excellent conversationalist. We can spend hours talking about anything and everything or we can just sit in total silence and enjoy the tune on the radio.

...anyway, got sidetracked a little. :) After spending the day on the lake with FF, and having a wonderful time...I awaited the call from kids saying they were on their way home. Of course, Almost-Ex got on the phone and asked 20 questions. When I told him I was with "a few people," he got the idea and of course was not happy. I mean, he could date and see whomever he chooses, but it's a different story with me, right? What followed after his initital anger is the best part of the story (aside from the sweet little goodbye kiss from FF) we actually TALKED! No yelling, arguing or blaming...we just opened up and let it all go. It was such a moment of clarity for me...he was actually "relieved" that I had been honest with him about my boating date. I think it alleviated some of the guilt he has been holding for doing whatever he has been up to.

Mainly I think we realized that we are great parents...we are NOT a great couple and both of us only wants the best for the other one but the kids are first and foremost our priority. They will be happy if we are happy...even if it's not with each other.

So, today is the first day of my new life (old me is back, I'm happy to report)...and I am ready to take on the world!