Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Monday, September 25, 2006


For such an exciting weekend I don't have much worth posting today!

Friday night was homecoming at the high school. I struggled with huge dilemma all week ...as wether or not to let *daughter* go to "after party" ...upon MUCHO dileberation I decided, AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, that she could go. (I'm not a total kill-joy!) ...That decision was made before I knew the Heavens would open up and dump the Atlantic Ocean out on us! Our whole town was flooded in a matter of like ...45 SECONDS! -this is when "parnoid polly" kicks in and makes *daughter* come home. Flood waters=scary (combined with hyped up homecoming kids undoubtedly doing whip-its and taking shots of cheap vodka in their car) Very unsafe! **Disclaimer: Children do not try that in your cars** I don't think I fully understood the effects of "I WANT YOU HOME NOW -I DON'T CARE WHO COMES WITH -BUT YOU COME NOW" ...for by midnight I'm pretty sure I had 20 teenagers piled in the living room like mexican jumping beans! All's well that ends well I guess. I'd rather have them there than anywhere... -On side note, in process of "gathering the little heathens" I found myself navigating "The Atlantic" in Suzie. It was like trying to take a boat ride in a wheelbarrow. That's about the amount of control I had over my truck! MAJOR FLOOD! Just let me say, for the record, I DO NOT DEAL WELL WITH EMERGENCY'S! Major major meltdown people... the rain was pouring down, thunder crashing, lighting flashing and I WAS CRYING!

Saturday morn was spent cleaning up the aftermath -basement flooded, ceiling fell (again ...how much more chaos can one person have!!) and HELLO! Did I mention 20 TEENAGERS SPENT THE NIGHT! Needless to say, major shopping trip in order.. They were like crack addicts in the kitchen cabinets ...just looking for their next fix! I was warming chicken and tossing it over the fence (ok ..it was only the bar!!) like i was feeding a pack of savage wolves! -WHERE'S BUBBA WHEN YOU NEED HIM??

Saturday Day was spent at my sisters cooking the best hashbrown casserole EVAH, wrapping "cacoons", drinking toddies and trying to figure out how to make cupcakes look like butterflies using 3 skittles, a pretzel and some very messy food coloring;) KUDOS TO *daughter*! YOU'RE BIRDS TOTALLY FLEW;)

Saturdays party ROCKED HARDCORE! We had a blast (rum induced probably!) Chowing down on awesome bbq smoked pork, socializing, trading toddies and "fluttering while intoxicated" (I heart my sister!) Just one person missing -missed him.

Sunday morning and one bottle of rum later... I could probably just stop there. But I'm pretty sure I could not suffer much more than I did at 7am yesterday ...so I'll relive it here now. I woke up feeling like my skull was protruding from my eyeballs -like big sharp dagger ...and I'm pretty sure said dagger was curled up and piercing back thru to my brain via my forehead. I think I would rather chew broken glass and suffer a slow painful death than drink another bottle of Appletons Rum. I felt like I had drank 19 bottles of red red wine. MAJOR HEADACHE. ...MAJOR OBLIGATION TO FULFILL. ...So, I rolled out of bed, took 2 aspirins, drank 42 glasses of water, took a shower and picked up Grandma for church -CHURCH ...not lets go to church church... that's easy. More like ...let's go to Homecoming ..THREE HOURS AWAY CHURCH. The only thing that saved my family from my cranky cranium yesterday was the 40 feet of food these fabulous Baptist women cooked up for my own partaking... PASS THE JACK SISTER! PRAISE JESUS!

It's a wonderful world.

Monday, September 18, 2006


My room-mate snorts protein powder. I prefer to crush no-doze.

Friday, September 15, 2006


I am ...woo'd **sighs** seriously WOO'D (ha ha -that looks like "wood" ...which is probably closer to what he is feeling **wink**) This new (old) boy ...really just does it for me. He excites me on the inside, shakes me up and makes me giggle... leaves me smiling all day for no reason -like a big goofball (it's humiliating!) I heart this ride we're on ...with the music up loud and the windows rolled down. I'm light as a feather and my belly's full of butterflies. I love to hear his voice a million times a day and laugh at him when he's singing something totally gay ...knowing he looks so super silly and he does it to make me giggle like a school girl. I heart goofing off and playing around with this boy -he's so fun loving and not afraid to be a kid again ...but then he can be a big boy too *wink* I love the way his hands feel -heavy and secure but never harsh or hurtful ...when he runs them over me it's like he's putting me all back together, sealing the cuts that have bleed me dry for to many years. Touching every inch of me to wipe away all the bad of all the years. Repairing each wound that has somehow aged me inside and outside too. Fixing everything and making me whole again. Somehow, they seem to me like big giant erasers wiping the slate clean. It's good to feel again...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Apparently ...I have reached M.I.L.F status in several young minds. I am told, this is an "honor" ...that I should somehow take satisfaction in knowing that, even at 30, I am still "a hottie" to ...slightly younger men. In this case, it happens to be 15 year old boys. GOODNESS GRACIOUS! I hardly think it an honor ..I'm old enough to be their momma! Somehow, just the thought of it all makes me feel like a "phile".... **cringes** AND OLD! IT MAKES ME FEEL OLD!

So ...Because I am the coolest mom EVAH (it's true!) *WINK* I took my daughter and 3 friends to one of the biggest concerts of the year (in our area -which is, I'm sure, considerably smaller than yours!) I was really (secretly, of course!) kind of excited about going. 12 Bands were performing through out the day and I really did like some of them (3 Days Grace Rocks Hardcore!) Though I would never let the kids see my excitement! Let me just say ...I had NO IDEA what I was getting into ...and I am left VERY MUCH AFFECTED! If you have not been to a rock concert recently and/or have children attending them -YOU NEED TO SEE THIS! It was like a big giant VIOLENT ORGY! I am not sure I have the words to convey exactly what I witnessed Sat. night.

I like to think that I am ..somewhat ...experienced... (PEOPLE -PLEASE -I've seen a lot in my time!!) I walk a fine line with my daughter. I try to give her "just enough" freedom and I really want her to be able to do everything she wants to do. (This usually involves me tagging behind her everywhere she goes! hee hee hee) I am just kind of a "paranoid polly" and have some (ok HUGE) safety concerns. ..I'm pretty sure I couldn't do without her, so I do my best to protect her. Generally my imaginiation runs rampant ...and I always envision "worse case scenerio" -in everything that has to do with my girl. Usually ...things are never as bad as I make them out to be... but ...I'M PRETTY SURE I COULD'VE NEVER MADE THIS CONCERT WORSE THAN IT WAS!

I'm not sure if I'm growing up and viewing things a little differently ...or if they are really that bad... but I watched 6 stretchers bring out teenagers that were supposedly "just having a good time" at a concert. Keep in mind, this concert was on the riverfront -open field, no seating -mosh pits... YES YOU HEARD -MOSH PITS. ...let me clarify here, these are not the old school mosh pits we goofed off in and jumped around in acting like retards -these are VIOLENT PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH AND KNOCK YOUR ARSE DOWN PITS! Scary, scary!! And crowd surfing ...I knew that was something that happened in Calif., but never seen it done in KY -and that's another thing... maybe city kids can crowd surf with style ...but keep in mind ...kids in the country do everything a little different ..these are big ol' boys with big ol' muscles ..I saw little girls tossed in the air like rag-dolls ...some flew ..some fell ...some were caught -others trampled (hence the stretchers!!) The girls that weren't crowd surfing were on boys shoulders flashing their goodies and making out with friends -GIRL FRIENDS!! ...stay with me -12 year old girls, topless and tounging their friends -DISTURBING.

I was really scared -once i'd just reached my limit -which came after like 7 hours of stalking, texting and calling the children (just trying to keep up with everyone) I entered the mosh pit. I ...just needed to see all the kids together ..WITH ME. Re-evaluate the situation, treat any obvious wounds/broken bones.. This is when I pass a group of boys who surround me and chant "MILF, MILF, MILF" while stomping their feet and raising their fists in the air. HOW HUMILIATING! I AM A M.I.L.F

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Misplaced Motivation...

I think ...I have misplaced my motivation somewhere. ...We are all moved in to new house (Thanks to Hot Cop! Yes ..It's true ...he's been to Ky twice now) but ..all our stuff is shoved into the garage like a bunch of mexicans in an efficiency apartment. Last night I started drinking just to forget ...just so I wouldn't have to deal with it! (then hot cop called, and I didn't care about latinos in garage anymore!) ...I do have to lay blame on roomie for that! HELLO! (own your part) It was a pretty fun night -I must admit. We needed a serious "pow-wow".

R.B. came home pretty bewildered after making appt with lawyer. ...It's true ..just because we're happier without husbands, doesn't mean we want a divorce looming over us (i know. i've had 2 **crosses fingers/hopes hot cop never reads**) She looked like a lost little girl sitting indian style in the kitchen floor ...we bared our souls, each of us leaned against our own set of cabinets, cutting limes in the floor, empty smirnoff bottles all around. LOL - I'm pretty sure we are the biggest losers on the block. ...but after the first six we laughed like high school girls pranking cute teenage boys on the phone. ...and of course, things always end up with us sneaking out back to play "hide and smoke" hoping to burn a whole marlboro down before the children notice we're gone.

Speaking of "gone" ...just so you know R.B. ...I looked for you for 15 mins outside, barefoot, in the dark shed, out by the wood line and under your car before I found you passed out in the bed ...like the least likely place I would've looked. Next time... phone a friend! I was worried!!!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


It's been a memorable week... R.B. and I are completely moved into new house and a chapter of her life closed forever. We have taken on a substantial payment every month on new place (which is a little scary -totally going to have some serious issues when fall clothes come out -No $$$ **makes really sad face**) And Hot Cop has been to Ky twice -in one week.... **sighes**

I don't really think I thought about what would happen if I ever found him again (you'd think that 10 years would give a person enough time to think things thru!) It's been ...overwhelming. I'm pretty sure I've had every emotion possible this week. When I initially emailed him, I never expected things would play out the way they have. He came to visit just a few days after we re-connected. Plans were ..just for lunch and ended up staying thru next night. -We have so much to catch up on. I enjoy talking to him and want to know everything about him ...he has great conversation skills and is very well mannered. I am quite impressed of the man he has grown into. We were just kids back then.

His first visit he spent the night in hotel in town -because HELLO -paranoid polly can't trust the man she's stalked since she was 20 years old! I'm getting surprisingly comfortable around him ...it almost seems as if no time at all has past. He came back to Ky sat. night -after working extremly long shift (by my standard ..which is probably lower than some!! LOL) to help us pack and move. After 5 hour drive he arrived at 330 am. I was still awake packing but extremely just ..exhausted. We chatted awhile ..and when it was time for bed ..I just wanted him with me. We both slept with clothes on ...I, under the covers ..he atop them. We had amazing conversation once again. There is no pressure for more from him. ...and he held my hand. He held my hand till I was fast asleep. His hand in mine, right there in that instant. ...said more than all of our conversations combined. Past and present. ...It was all that needed to be said.


Mirror mirror in the car -When touched by light can set a fire! ...So I'm totally p***ed off today. Sunday was the big move. R.B's house sold and since we're like THE GREATEST ROOMIES EVAH we decided to rent another place together (umm HELLO -let me just stop and say VERY CUTE HOUSE! KUDOS TO R.B. for Searching relentlessly as I sat back and supped the Gay!) -ok ..back on track. ...So I'm in this convoy of trucks (because we avoided renting uhaul to save money to buy shoes) and I'm chattering away to R.B. about "chicago" and really just generally not paying attention to anything around me and then I see smoke billowing out from my passenger seat ...and it's totally smelling like burnt rubber... I'm flipping losing it because I have no idea whats causing this fire... I mean really ..stop and relate ...I'm driving, in my car ..and it's catching fire for no reason at all ..just fire appears! Im totally expecting the worst ...as history proves ...if an explosion is going to happen ...it's going to be right-smack-dab in the middle of my world. ...So ..I'm on the phone explaining (fairly loud and chaotically) that my car is on fire and I'm just not knowing why... Then the light comes on ...or maybe more of a reflection from the mirror in my passenger seat ...THAT'S IT! This is no joke ..the light from the suns reflection in the mirrow sat my headliner on fire... and I sat there like a dumb a** and watched it melt! So ..I'm just wondering now ...can this be considered actual "fire damage" ..and what's my deductible on that?