Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

More Whine?

I wonder sometimes if all our good times set us up for a fall. Like a barronness loosing the Lebaron. We have surely shared some unbelieveable nights (and days) No one would ever believe all the tales and I am sure no one ever partied like that before us and no one will ever do it again. I am so thankful for my average life but ..at the same time feel a certain resentment to it. I am grateful for days without drama but, secretly somewhere inside, would like to create it. Why do we always desire what we can no longer have. Why is growing up so torture-ess?

I long for just 2 weeks. Just two more weeks of living ...not life ...but living like we used to. Going out, or even better, getting ready to go out together! Turning all the boys heads and turning the down ...or on. Taking shots and shaking our size 4 a**es on bars ...falling off bars ...Sympathy sex because it's going to keep your best friend out of trouble or because she's already in trouble. I miss partying till the break of dawn and eating waffle house ...or better yet ..starting bar fights in waffle house;) 8 girls in a toyota corolla, burritos as big as your head, taking it to the house and pretending to be super heros. Riding topless, wine and better chedders ...watching friends ...kissing friends ...not being friends ...I miss it all. I want to laugh till I'm laughing so hard you can no longer hear me. Soccer games in the rain, dirty movies in the dark ...drive-ins and ants in your dip, falling off bars and throwing up in cars ..throwing up neon green in the car;)


...How do you find contentment in an average life. I miss my friends and my crazy life. ..before it was so comfortable and predictable. When everyday was an adventure ...even the school days were cool! There was always so much to laugh about and an outrageous story you wish you could tell but knew you couldn't. I'm thankful for my life and wouldn't give it up for anything ...but I long for the good ol' days and not being such a good ol' girl..

Monday, November 15, 2004

Don't Shoot

Although my week-end may not have been as "full-filling" as my counterpart I had some real excitement as well! Saturday morning 6am I awoke and put every article of clothing I own on. Opening Day ...Deer Season! I was pretty excited to get to go with the big boys ...if you saw little me in the midst of all those carhartt overalls and shotguns you would have surely laughed ...my gun ..although a youth model ...was bigger than I was and the only visible skin was my eyes. I was off to conquer the wild. Now the trip into the woods was pretty fun ...I liked the way the pick up bounced around ...I felt like we were really roughing it. However, the tree stand was a little frightening. If you've never seen one of these contraptions you can not comprehend ...and this backwards girl had some difficulty walking this thing up the tree. Up Up Up and Away ..higher he yelled ...At 6 feet off the ground I knew I had topped out! So ..there I sat. A hunter ...waitting for the hunted. I commanded my post 3 hours without seeing a single solitary deer. Alone in the woods ...or so I thought. It wasn't until the first shot was fired that I realized we had more company than we thought. I was okay up until this point ..and although I was really trying to impress the boys with my hunting skills ...something else had taken over ...fear!! I stood up in my stand waving my orange gloves wildly and unzipping my own carhartt so you could see the orange fleece beneath ...DON'T SHOOT, I pleaded!! ..and in an instant I was reduced back to ..just a girl. However, I was not done there. After leaving the wheat field I was camped in I was a little disappointed that I had not been able to shoot anything. After sensing my disappointment ...I was given the opportunity to fire live ammo from the hood of a pickup ...BIG MISTAKE! I don't know where I went wrong ...but what started out to be a hunting trip turned out to be an expensive trip to the body man. I wasn't aiming for the truck, just somehow managed to fire that first shot into the hood ...Maybe next year.

NEWS FLASH!!! Monday's Suck!

Okay, so here it is nearly 2:30pm my time and I am finally getting to blog. I truly intended to do this sooner, as I know SS is awaiting my vivid sex stories from the weekend...

First, I must say that I was horny all weekend and it began Friday night, with me determined to have just as good of sex with myself as SS had the previous night. See, I am not quite that creative when it comes to solo sessions. Now, give me a partner and I'll come up with all sorts of interesting things to try but if left to my own devices...I have a tendency to fall very short. So, here it was 10pm, me wanting it so bad, I drug out my "fun box" and locked my door. Thinking about all of the porn SS spoke of, I couldn't wait to turn the toys on. When it wouldn't turn on, I became irritated and searched my entire room for replacement batteries...with none, I firmly threw the imposter in the closet and went to get the real thing. Only, this wasn't as easy as you would think it should have been...nearly 4 hours later (yes, 2am) and a two hour discussion on why sex isn't good all the time, I finally came and went to sleep.

Saturday comes and goes with no excitement whatsoever, I really believe that I was just too mentally exhausted from all the "red tape" I endured to achieve the big O the previous night, that I claimed defeat and went to sleep.

Sunday...well, lets just say Sunday was nice. Hell, nice doesn't quite say but since I'm running out of time, I'll leave it at that. Maybe save the details for another day...another blog, perhaps.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Don't Drink the Water & Confessions of a Functioning Alcoholic

I must confess ...yesterday was the 3rd time this week I've returned to work after lunch ...Intoxicated. I believe I am, quite possibly, the only truly functioning alcoholic I know. It's just so much clearer after a few drinks. Like viewing the world in technicolor after all those years in black and white (ok ..not so many years!) But what was I thinking ...Honestly ...Never drink the water in a mexican resterant ...IT'S NOT WATER! I became so delusional I began to fantasize about men! To set the record straight I am clearly heterosexual ...I was married twice in 10 years. However, I rarely fantasize about men! They consume to much of my time in the real world. I was a little disappointed to read what happened in Mexico yesterday. ..and I was hoping for so much more.

Moose Over!

Now here is an interesting article. Apparently Norway is stricken with drunken moose. I found this article so bizarre I wanted to post it this morning. Norway is often dubbed one of the best places in the world to live and ...after viewing their newspapers ...I agree. I don't remember the last time the moose held a block party in my neighborhood ...gives a whole new meaning to Moose lodges! The article suggests clapping if you come across the perp ...Now, I can't speak for everyone but if I come across a 1,200 lb. drunken moose I won't be applauding! However this was not the fun in Norway does not end there. Apparently beastiality is growing in popularness as well. Now for those of you who don't know ...this is sex with mans best friend! Now correct me if I'm wrong ...isn't Norway home of little blond dutch girls in tight bustiers? Why are these people probing pets poop? In a recent article they talk of a young girl with a strong desire to have sex with her horse. She called in to ask if it was illegal. ...Well sweetie, maybe you should try applauding a drunken moose.

Enjoy the read.....

Drunken moose alert in southern Norway
Experts are not sure how it will affect moose behavior, but if you meet Norway's 'King of the Forest' in the southern part of the country, he could be intoxicated - and potentially dangerous.

The 'King of the Forest' - too big not to respect.
PHOTO: Gorm Kallestad

According to a report from the Newspapers' News Bureau (ANB), the reason behind the warning is this year's early snowfall.
A warm summer has led to an unusual bounty from the region's fruit trees. The sudden and early snowfall has left some fruit under snowy cover, while still more remains on the branch. This fruit is fermenting, and also a readily available and tempting source of food for the region's moose.
"This is the first time I have heard that moose are getting drunk. But I assume that they react the same way people do to intoxication - some become harmless while others are the exact opposite," said district veterinarian Paul Stamberg in Kristiansand.
Martin Kolberg, head of the local animal committee in Telemark, warns people to beware of drunken moose.
"Be careful when you approach moose that have been munching apples for days. Their behavior can alter and they can become frighteningly aggressive. Clap and see how it reacts. If it doesn't retreat but instead comes even closer, by all means stay vigilant. It can be intoxicated and attack," Kolberg told newspaper Faedrelandsvennen.
This story was originally published on November 29, 2002.
Aftenposten English Web Desk
Jonathan Tisdall


Thursday, November 11, 2004

Defense

We hereby plead insanity by reason of intoxication and lack of relaxation. Rainbow Bright ...make no mistake ...she's a real character. She's definitely the instigator, although I have become a faithful follower ...taking zany ideas and bringing them to life! Experiencing life with with us is experiencing life in technicolor!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Let's Get Retarded!

Okay, this will be the first post...not really, since SS posted first but screwed it up. Alas, we all make mistakes so this will have to do. Seems fitting that I start this since I am often the one who starts shit that lands us in trouble. This time will be different though, no trouble here. I mean, what is the worst that could happen with all of our deepest, darkest secrets plastered out in cyber-space for all bloggers to read? Nothing, right? Well, if it does, let me say now that I'm pleading insanity. This being my only outlet, I call it therapy. There ya go, take me to court with that one!