Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Monday, January 31, 2005

Girls and Pimp's Gone Wild!

I have to talk about my weekend, since it was fairly eventful and that is unusual for me these days. Friday night was a girls night minus SS and her presence was sorely missed. Her move to that OTHER state has really put a crimp in my social life! I never seem to have as much fun when she isn't around...whether its her or the huge amounts of alcohol we ingest, I don't know but thats neither here nor there.

So, back to the "girls nite." There were only 6 of us who got together for manicures, pedicures and massages which meant, more massage time for me! It is very cool to have a friend who gives massages for a living and the fact that she doesn't mind doing it for free, is very cool too. I could embellish here a little and say that we were nude and it was a full body massage but I won't...it was full body but we kept our clothes on...it was way to cold for that! I left my girls nite feeling totally refreshed...and ready for bed!

The other thing that happened, didn't happen to me but to my spouse...I just still can't believe it so I have to talk about it. He went to a nearby City (a college town) to hang out with some friends and do what they do...it really isn't that exciting but this day, there was a new guy hanging out with him. This new guy kept getting phone call after phone call on his cell phone. He was really working while hanging out and he wasn't shy about his job. He is a....PIMP! Now, I have seen and done a lot in all of my years but I have NEVER met a real Pimp! Mr. Pimp was taking call after call from customers who were asking what girls he had working this day. He has 10 on his payroll and only five were working this past Saturday. So, Pimp would ramble the stats of his girls off like he was reading from a Taco Bell menu...but he had their stats memorized. So, I could imagine the conversation going a little like this...

"Big Pimp's Escort Service, how can I help you?" "Uh...yeah, what do you have available today at 5pm?" Well, I have a 5ft2 blond, blue eyed, 36DD, who loves to give head, also available is a 5ft6in redhead with green eyes who is submissive..." "Okay, I'll take the blond, 5pm, today, same place, right?" Yes, she will be there for one hour and will need your $200 up front." "You have a good day now, nice doing business with you."

Am I the only one to think this is odd? My spouse found it highly entertaining and not really odd at all. Apparently this guys "ho's" are all college girls or strippers who get to keep $100 of the money for their services. Mr. Pimp keeps the other $100 for providing them with a "decent" clientel and a hotel room to conduct business. He seems legit, paying taxes on his earnings and reporting wages for his "employees." What is even more odd, his wife is a professional in a highly respected medical field. How weird is that? What in the world are these girls thinking...and why do they need a pimp to take half their profit? Dance for money, yes, strip for money, yes...but sex for money? Oh hell no! I much prefer the control of knowing that I will NOT to have to stomach the stench of the overweight hairy perv who last showered during the Carter administration! I know, hairy guys need love too...sorry, but what's wrong with a little wax every now and then!

So, big question if you dare to be honest...ever paid for sex? I don't mean by paying for dinner and a movie. Ever hand over greenbacks for sexual favors? What was it like? If you haven't, would you? If this is the case and you are near northern Kentucky, I just may have a good pimp for ya!

Who Am I?

At what age do you really decide who you are? Every time I think I've found me I am sorely mistaken. I've been so many different people in my 29 years that I have myself thourally (sp?) confused at this point. I enjoy every aspect of life ...from every angle. I want to be the Soccer mom, the groupie at the front of the stage, the missionary who spreads God's word ...the pornstar or hot dancing girl on the stage ...the bikers gf, party girl and mother of 4 ...I want to experience everything there is to do and have had every hobby there is out there ..but I find myself developing crushes ..on a weekly basis ...and it dawned on me this morning ...I'm not crushing on these boys ...I'm crushing their lives. Yesterday I met a guy that races bikes ...on a Nat'l level ...that's all he does ...travels and races ...Initially I was not attracted ...but the more I thought about it the more into him I was ...which caused me to explore this fasination a bit further. What exactly attracted me to him ...and it was his lifestyle. Those who know me well ...can vouch that I am never the same and always the same ...my lifestyle changes to suit the boy I am most in love with at the time. Which may sound ..unfullfilling (again sp?) ...but it is so not ...I see the world from a lot of different positions and get to do things I never imagined I would ...and never get tired of being me ...whoever I am. Do you think this is healthy ..is everyone this way on the inside? Do you have a secret crush today?

p.s. I like this link a very cool friend sent to me today!


Friday, January 28, 2005

Back to Land of Living!

Thank you so much for all the concern as to my whereabouts yesterday and JQP, why did you have to rat us out? That was to be our secret and now they all know what a dirty cheatin' whore I am! At least tell them that Mrs. JQP was in the know and didn't mind since she left you all alone...that way, I'm only ruining one marriage (mine) and not two!

Seriously, I was at home and nobody would have wanted to be near me. I picked up a stomach bug from the little puky kid we took skiing with us on Sunday and began hurling my guts out around 2am Thursday morning. This didn't end until around 9am yesterday and the whole day was spent on the couch phasing in and out of consciousness, too tired to even watch talk shows! What kind of a day off is that? I do however have one good thing to report about spewing chunks all night...I LOST 2 LBS! 11 down, only 10 to go, WhoooHooo! Another couple days of chunking and I'll be bikini ready in no time flat! Oh and SS, it was not neon green, just in case you were wondering.

I am sorry that I missed such an eventful day though and too bad that I have way too much crap to catch up on today. I've got a grant deadline of Feb 1 looming above and I am suffering from writers block...how much can you really say about a boat/camping facility?

Have a good day and weekend everyone!
Last night after work I made my way back home (not home as in house, but home like ...roots, where you come from ;) to have my hair touched up and, sadly, cut. ...afterwards I made my way over to Rainbows ...just to check up on her ...she was feeling "a little under the weather" yesterday ..hmmp ...a little "under the cover" ...playing hang-over hookie AGAIN! I didn't stay long because I still had quite a drive ahead of me ...just long enough to make out and kiss her bye ...and I was on my way. Now ...here's where it gets interesting ...I take the backroads back to "current state" and had to pass a, at one time, popular bar. Curiosity killed the cat ...and I had to know what my old hang out was like these days. I scanned the parking lot ...did a little drive by ..Don't laugh YOU DO IT TOO! ...just to make sure there was no one I absolutely did not want to see;) SAFE! ..I was in. ...And there he was ...as soon as I walked in the door ...my EX-HUSBAND ...s*** ...this was sooooo not his place anymore ... what was he doing there ...and what in haidi's was I doing there at the same time. He immediately came over to me and whips out his wallet (mini photo album) to show me pics of his new bb. Now ...if you hang around here much you know how envious I am of people with new babies and how vulnerable I am this week ...ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I wanted to rip his head off and shove the whole album down his throat then jump up on the bar and do some kind of evil "So what if you have kids dance" while little baby devils danced around. What is my problem? ?? I am not usually this evil! HONEST! I am (according to me) one of the most wonderful people you will ever come in contact with ...I feed the homeless and volunteer to read to injured animals. ...but I have become down right baby crazed. We chit-chatted and I asked about the dirty B**** that eventually stole him right out from underneath me ...okay ...well so I left first ...but I had every intention on going back ...when I was done runnin' ;) Crazy Days, Crazy Days ...I kept me in check, had a drink, sang a song and headed home. It was nice to see him ...oddly.


Every morning on my way to work I listen to a preacher speaker on the radio (Chip Ingram). Listening to preachers on tv/radio is has never been appealing to me ...I love the Lord and go to church every Sunday ...but tv preachers usually seem a little shady to me. This guy is different ...he is about "our age" and is such an inspiration. He really provides a lot of insight to my crazy world. This week he has been talking about love, sex and relationships. This man is wise beyond his years and sent straight from God, I am sure, to speak to me alone. If you are in a relationship or looking to ever have a successful relationship you should DEFINITELY listen to todays sermon. It lasts about 25 minutes and will change your life ...at least for today. I really really wish someone would listen and give me your opinion. His sermons are available online at www.lote.org Give it a try ...it will not hurt ...I promise (how could it ..the guys talking about sex!!!)


On a lighter note ...today is national "bubble wrap appreciation day" ...For whatever reason someone developed a whole council to celebrate Americas favorite packing material! A local radio station is visiting U of L today to throw a DJ wrapped in bubble wrap out a 3rd story window ...this should be fun to watch;)

Thursday, January 27, 2005


Attention all officers ...We have a run-away Rainbow. I repeat, run-away Rainbow ...Please be advised ..Character is armed with smokin' hotness and believed to be sex-fene. Approach with caution!

Rockin' with Rednecks

I rocked the redneck bar yet another night! ...If you guys could see the little hick town I live in you would surely laugh. There is nothing to it ...which leaves me with few options for a night on the town ...especially on a Wed night;)

I came home last night with a frisky feelin' ...Sometimes you just got to get out. I fixed supper (because that's what I do) and tried to stay home like the rest of the moms watching LOST with their families ..and what is that show about anyway?? I am completely LOST at this pint (LOL ..the pint could be the reason I am lost!) At 9 ...I just couldn't take it any longer ...I put on my dancing shoes and I was headed down the dirt road!

I come to this little shack in the woods to clear my head sometimes and fog my mind. Usually when I get there it is quite and awkward ..awkward for me ..because I am not very quite ...i like excitement and lots of noise! I start with a shot of tequila (in addition to the shots Betty Crocker snuck at home while fixin' supper) and one margarita ...things are good (and i bought a pack of smokes to boot;) ) So ...i'm sitting at the bar ( a real bar, not just the kitchen counter like last night!) and realize this must be karaoke night (I should probably have one more shot!) Rainbow bright and I have ran a lot of people out of a lot of dives singing karaoke! I had a blast but "too much tequila last night" ...Those ol' country boys just sit and stare ..mainly because they are scared what I will do next ...and when I say ol' ...I really mean OLD! This is not a kiddie corral ...and most of these fellas are missing their front teeth ..it's pretty scary ...one thing I found most peculiar ...was why they have hula-hoops in a place like this ...obviously no one else would have used them ...but at one point I knew it must be a sign ..and broke out the hula hoops! ..which I am very proud to say I do ..VERY WELL! It took one whole summer at the lake but there's not much me and RB can't do with the hoops now;) Yeah ...I had these boys stunned ..amazed really, I'm sure ...but I don't think they really understood my talent till I belted out Barry Manilows "Copacabana" ...it was a good night.

What's your best sing-along-song?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Same Quiz

Wackiness: 74/100Rationality: 60/100Constructiveness: 60/100Leadership: 50/100
You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower.

This makes you a Paul Begala.You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to. You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised.You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.

Of the 81367 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 4.8 % are this type.

Like SS, this quiz hit a bullseye with me. Although, I do tend to be the leader, more than follower...right SS? She told me to take the quiz and I did but just wanted to get thru it. Fun, fun! If you take it, post a link so we can all see who you are.

Crazy Me Quiz

20 Questions to a Better Personality
Wackiness: 80/100Rationality: 50/100Constructiveness: 90/100Leadership: 40/100

You are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower.
This makes you a Candle burning at both ends.You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.
Of the 81322 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 7.6 % are this type.
** This quiz is creepy accurate ...It is so like me ...especially the attention part ...I've said all along ..."If you make me your girl, I'll be your girl" ...Just never found anyone that could give that much.. You take it too ...the link at Muzik Dude's http://muziks-muzings.blogspot.com/

We got a 402-Perp Suspected White Trash Redneck

I honestly believe it is quite possible that my neighbors have me beat. I assumed my family, at 48%, was the trashiest family in the whole county. NOT SO!

Last night around supper time we received a call from a kid that we’ve been trying to befriend and …save. Super nice kid, …17 years old …that despite the conditions at home ..does very well at school and has a tremendous amount of respect. The rockstar has really been devoting a lot of time to teaching the boy how to …be a man. Everything from being responsible to fixing cars and playing guitars. So …we get the call that the Boy’s (from here on out will be referred to as D) stepdad is threatening to “slit his throat” …we take this very seriously as less than a week ago D’s dad actually brought a knife to the fight. It’s just a terrible, heartbreaking situation. ….Definitely something you would see on cops..

Last week the rockstar took D to nearby city for major event. I guess D thanked rockstar 100 times before ever reaching city. He was just so ecstatic to “get away” ..and have a normal kids life for one day. However, the very next day he was punished for having fun and had to walk 4 hours in the cold to get to work …all because “if he can find a ride to play he can find a ride to work” …Then there’s the mother …who has a tremendous amount of love for the kids and was heartbroken that dad would not allow her to take son to work. …The ironic thing is that D paid all the families bills last week and bought stepdads beer …because stepdad does not have a job. It’s amazing what D has to go through on a daily basis …and what he does to provide for his family and …out of love for his mother.

So …The rockstar is immediately infuriated and turns into some kind of Stone Cold Hulky Hector Protector to save new friend. I was very proud ..and surprisingly turned on by his macho-ism …but wait …what is he looking for??? Rockstar pulls out level from Home Improvement bin …What is he thinking??? Hello Mr …that is a weapon and you will go to jail for using said weapon!! Rockstar is concerned white trash dad will attack with knife ….UM HELLO! It’s a little kitchen knife ..not a samurai sword and you are twice his size. Rockstar is 6’1 and weighs in at a hefty 230! Who brings a level to a knife fight anyway?? Rockstar should thank cool headed quick thinking gf appropriately today for keeping him from the clink …I’m thinking jewels …but the s-e-x was awesome …the power he showed off last night was exciting! Boxing makes me HOT!!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Mommy in the MIddle!

If you’ve been keeping up with the story line you know I am desperately seeking baby …However, I’m missing a daddy and am not a good candidate to host myself. In a change of events today, the sweet and absolutely wonderful Mr. John Q. Public has offered up free injections of his ever popular “baby baste” to one qualifying woman. I’ve decided to make it a contest! (this should be fun!) Entries will be accepted thru the end of the month.

How do you suggest I choose one lovely lady to host a home for my bb …and what will the candidates do to prove they are worthy to be “Mommy in the Middle”

Monday, January 24, 2005

Baby Blues...

I think sometimes everyone in blogworld thinks we have a ball over here in our world and never share in the rest of the worlds ups and downs ...and ..for the most part ..we don't. We usually keep our chin up and make the most of whatever happens in our crazy world. That's why I like being us;) ..but sometimes ..I get sad too. Like today ...like the past month for that matter ...it seems like everyone I know has a bundle of joy on the way or is planning another bundle of joy ...and I'm so super happy for them ...but, at the same time, terribly jealous ...I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet down my hall ...where's my bundle? I want to be a mommy again and feel those little flutters of new life in my belly ...it's the most amazing feeling in the world ...I hear so many new mommy's complaining of morning sickness and being tired ...and cranky ...and I think back ...and for the life of me ...can not remember feeling that way ...I was sick A LOT! ...but I was so excited and intrigued by this new life ...I completely enjoyed every minute of the whole experience and it hurts me so bad on the inside to know, never, no matter what ..I will never feel that again. I ache to feel that again and rock a baby to sleep and feed her in the middle of the night ...I want to be a mom again.

Greetings from Top of The World!

...Greetings From the top of the World ...or at least the bunny slope;) I so totally think I broke my hip last night. I don't know why we insist on abusing our bodies like this. I LOVE TO SNOWBOARD. I'm like a soldier on the slopes and love coming back for more ...Okay ...I totally suck and slide down the mountain on my a** most of the time. I am learning a little more control. ...I think you pro's call it drifting ...I call it standing upright without getting my lard a** run over by some crazy burton brat who spits in my face as he flies past me. I feel old today ...and need a drink. It was freezing last night ...my mouth was so cold I couldn't make it move. ...which totally sucked because I think I could've seduced R.B. into the back of my new pick'em up truck;) ...ya'll she was a full blown hottie last night ..wish you could've been there.

"anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you..." (taunting r.b. already this morning ..all for you sunshine!)

Friday, January 21, 2005

Cleanse Me Baby!

Well, I have been sick all week and still feel like crap. I thought that by it being Friday, I would feel better, just because the weekend was here and I would get out of this cramped little office for two days. But, no...I still feel like my head is going to explode from all the pressure and my usualy soft female voice has been replaced by a deep raspy, nasal tone that oddly sounds sexy to a couple of guys at work. Aside from it being a short week (thank you MLK and my government job) it has been one of the suckiest in awhile. Just the usual really, too much to do, too many meetings, my desk is a mess and the big boss man has been his usual tryant self but add all that to the way I feel and you got one hell'uva bad week. Oh yeah, don't forget this diet I'm on...only adding to my misery. I like Strawberrie have been trying to lose a few lbs (summer and lake weather will be here before we know it) more like about 20 lbs...but who's counting? I am dammit! I'm counting every day that I get on that scale and the number doesn't move down, not even one ounce! It is so frustrating, you would think that after nearly 3 weeks on the ultra low carb/good carb "South Beach Diet" I would have taken off the standard 8-13 lbs that they promise you in the book. No, I've been stuck at a 7 lb loss for about 3 days and it is utterly frustrating. So, this has got me to think of other ways to quickly drop lbs when I think I heard the perfect plan on the radio the other day. It's called the "Master Cleanser Diet." Anyone heard of it? I works like this, you drink at least 6, 8 ounce glasses of the "lemonade" a day and eat nothing else. You can drink more if you want but once you see what it is made out of, I doubt you'll be asking for more. It has squeezed lemon juice, cayenne pepper and natural maple syrup in it. Sounds delish, right? Well, this just might be my ticket to my itsy bitsy bikini this summer...I mean, I don't have to eat and I LOVE lemonade, so what could be so hard about it? Oh did I forget to mention that I have also started training for a mini marathon on March 30? Yeah, can you see me trying to run 4 miles with only lemon juice, pepper and syrup in my system? That is a trip to the hospital just waiting to happen. It is stated that this "lemonade" will cleanse you off all that ails you...including unwanted fat, so I may just have to forgo my marathon training for a week and give it a try.

I know that a "quick fix" is usually not the way to go but, I am not usually a patient person...I want what I want, when I want it. Don't make me wait any longer than necessary and 3 months is too damn long to lose 20 freakin' lbs! So, I may just go shopping over the weekend and give this lemonade thing a try. Anyone heard of it or ever tried it? I know its been around forever and I'd love to hear some real-life experiences. Can I do this one week AND maintain my sanity? Will I lose 10 lbs in a week? Please just don't tell me that you ended up in the emergency room on IV fluids!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

No Posts Today

No Posts today ...I've been busy buying big fat redneck truck. Congratulations to the rockstar and I on a brand new (to us) 2002 Ford F-250 Diesel!!!

Break open the Bubbly ..WE'RE GOIN' MUDDIN'!!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Role Call!

I love adventuresome s-e-x. I love to roll play. This is something, sort of, new for me. I just discovered it in the past year ...with my rock star boyfriend (whom I really like today!) When I moved in with rock star he literally had chains and cuffs screwed (appropriate word!!) into his headboard (which was hard to explain to Christian family) ...I think these props sort of prompted the new "vicious" me and it's lead into this role playing thing. I love to dress up like someone else (nothing toooo weird) and loose some of my own inhibitions. ...Simple stuff ...like indian maiden, school girl, construction chic, cowgirl ...you get the idea ...but enough to rev up the rock stars adrenaline ;) It's pretty fun ...and leads to a lot of dirty talk that doesn't happen otherwise (guys ..this really makes us hot when done right!) ..Tonight I'm thinking ...cowgirl boots and a red bandana ...don't forget my holster and 6 shooter ;) If you charged my posse ...who would you be?

LOL, it’s end of day and I was just reading this (who re-reads their own blogs?) You must think of a truly comical scene to see a grown woman in cowboy boots and a red bandana wrapped around her face, waving her gun around demanding the chief out of his clothes! When that plan backfires it’s all out war …you see …the rockstar just refuses to play along sometimes …my “6 shooter” is really only a water pistol and unfortunately the chief has found one too (must’ve hid it under his pillow) …INDIANS AIN’T S’POSED TO HAVE GUNS! It’s pretty funny (scary) to see grown ups chasing each other around the house with waterguns ..naked as j-birds! ..I guess my sexy saucy sex isn’t as saucy as it seems!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


As many of you know ...We've been low-carbing it lately ...and I noticed yesterday that my blood alcohol level was really starting to drop (side effect of crazy insane Atkins diet) ...so I was on a mission to find a drink with 0 carbs ...I had to correct this ..for I have just not been ..ME! After much researching I have found that neither Rum nor Vodka have carbs ..just one small dilemma ...what do I mix them with ...at this point my only "drinkable" options are water and crystal light ...but last night while making my dessert ...sugar free jello and whip-its ...I found the answer ...hit me like an ex-bf ....J-E-L-L-O ...if you don't freeze it ...it really makes for a nice mixer!! Sweet!! So here I am today ..running at full capacity and I've never been better ...wish me luck ...I'm weighing in at 125 today ;)

Monday, January 17, 2005

Diary of a Carb Craver...

Happy Monday Morning! ...only things are not so happy here in Strawberries world ...things are getting pretty scary around the house. My whole family has vowed to never eat carbs again. ...okay ...I'm over-dramatic ...20-30 carbs a day ...which is totally virtually impossible. What was Atkins thinking ...this is crazy. I'm hallucinating and beginning to sleepwalk. Friday morning 2am I found myself naked at the table eating a nutty bar (which is way better than the time I drank my daughters science experiment!) ...with no recollection of how I got there ... And the man is totally freaking me out ...he's got this weird foam thing going at the mouth ...and he's starting to look at my arms funny. ...I'm scared to go to sleep for fear he will try to eat me. I crave things I never wanted before ....I'd like to sink my face deep in a double decker chocolate cake this morning. I have lost 5 lbs (or around about) in 1 week ...I'd celebrate if I could drink ...but I'm afraid that's out of the question as well.

Does anyone have any low carb foods for me? ...How do you loose weight ;)

Friday, January 14, 2005

Confessions and Teenagers

I just have to confess...my first attempt at smoking pot was not with Strawberrie as she indicated. I was not a pot-head but my first attempt at the "good stuff" was at the tender age of 13. Yep, I was in 7th grade and it happened at the local movie theater...behind the theater. Doesn't all good things happen behind the theater? Your parents think you are calmly and safely watching a movie with your buds, but no, instead you are getting high on weed and drunk on MD 20/20. Boy, that drink brings back memories. With all those substances, its no wonder I ended up pregnant in the 9th grade! Now I know teenage parenthood isn't for everyone but for me...it save my life. I truly believe I was headed down a dangerous road and that my son is the only way I would have made it to my twenties alive. I had started hanging out with the wrong crowd, doing the wrong things and I had very little accountablity. I wanted to be accepted by everyone, so I did as they did. It didn't help that at 14, I looked 21...fully developed, at least physically. Most of my friends were 18 or over and to me, they were so cool. They were worth breaking curfew, sneaking out at night and having sex before I was ready.

Now that my son is getting to the age I was when trouble started, I am "Mama the Watchdog." I know I wear him out sometimes with my "who, what, when & where," but how else are we supposed to know what are kids are up to? I am thankful that he is a wonderful son and that he was born first, so I can practice my teen parenting before my daughter wreaks havoc on my life. I will be a bit older and hopefully wiser then, I know from other parents of teenage girls...it will be a bumpy ride. And if my daughter is ANYTHING like I was...just put me in "Our Lady of Peace" now because, I'm sure all the anti-depressants in the world won't help!

When I began this, I intended to share plenty of "gettin' high" stories but after reading a post by Muzikdude about his teenage daughter, I guess my thoughts went elsewhere. Here you can check out his teenage daughter story....I'm sure he has many more. http://muziks-muzings.blogspot.com/

Maybe I'll share my wicked childhood...and possibly adult ways later.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Fire it UP!

Due to a recent polling we found Rainbow Bright to be quite a little hippie chick ...a love bird! LOL! (link to hippie chick for more) However, I think she may have lead you astray and made you believe that smoking weed is out of the realm of possibility for us ...sorry sweetie ...got a tell it ;)

...On a cold night, not so long ago two grown women huddled in the bushes trying to light their first joint ...we had attended a Halloween party and ironically I was dressed as ...a hippie chick! We participated ...mostly watched the festivities around all night ...laughing and ...well ..just trying to look our usual cool ...when we noticed someone had left their weed RIGHT BESIDE US! YIKES!! ...already rolled! ...Heaven forbid we'd have to roll one ...we'd have had to eat it if we'd have had to roll it! We tossed around the idea of smoking it all night and wondered what it'd be like ...curiosity killed the cat ...and we were out the door. I guess plenty of people at this particular party smoked and we could've have "fired it up" right there ...but they could NEVER know that we would ;)

After a lengthy scavenger hunt for lite ...We made our way to hostess' bushes (not hosts bush -ewwwww grody!) and lit this baby up! Initially I didn't feel anything ...I don't mean didn't feel my toes or head ...I mean ...just did not feel any effects at all ...then I began to laugh hysterically ...attracting a passer-by ...OOPS! BAD!! This guy walks over to us and asks what we are doing hiding in the bushes ...we were busted and had to confess ..."We're smoking" ...he laughs hysterically and takes our funny little friend and ...after examination lets us know that it is not weed at all ...but a capri cigarette with the filter removed and rolled up... Silly girls ... I guess the jokes on us.

Ever smoked? Got any smoke stories?

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Mi Vida Loco

Last Fall (2003 not 2004) hot dancing girl (it's healthy to have positive self-image) met hard rockin' band boy. Hot dancing girl was on mission to find her 1st one night stand ...she got that ...with so much more than she ever bargained for. It was truly love at first sight ...the perfect party couple. Last Christmas (again 2003) hot dancing girl moved in with rock star despite the dismay of Christian family. Now, one year later, band boy has dis-banded and hot dancing girl is more like a fatty patty pity party. WHAT HAPPENED?

I've never been much of a long term person, very flighty ...fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I am 29 years old (Monday) and have had 10 serious bf's. The 1st year is always hot and heavy. He's always "the one" ...no matter who he is. When I reach my "1 year max time" I start finding flaws and miss those wild week-ends of long ago. ...but it's a vicious cycle ...because after 6 months of "alone time" ...I want someone again. The rock star is ...ALL STAR ...he doesn't like to party like he did when I met him ...but isn't that what every girl wants ...someone who will settle down with them? He's always home if he's not doing his super hard (good paying) job. He loves me and loves my bb girl. He's so good to/for us ...and takes us to chuch on Sunday. So why am I so homesick?

Well ..the straw that broke fatty patty's back was not the extra 20 lbs she's gained living near to the close of nowhere ...it was the fact that the rock star is putting fatty patty on a carbless diet! I'm a pasta princess ...this can not be ...Yes ..yesterday morning ...rock star just woke up and decided he wanted to be healthy ...get fit ..." sure sweetie, you go ahead ...I'll be here when you get back" This is crazy ...he throws out all of fatties favorite snacks and makes patty paddle her way to wal-mart to spend all rock stars hard earned money on health food ...funk food ...I could've bought new shoes and ate spaghetti tonight. Have you ever noticed how much more it cost to eat healthy? You can buy a full meal at McD's that tastes dag-gone good for $3 ...but the ketchup I bought last night was closer to $5. It alls goes back to Darwin ...they're weeding the poor man out ..only the rich can survive ...they are the only ones that can afford to eat this stuff.

I know that this is the best thing for our growing family ...and I don't mean growning as in having bb's ...I mean growing ...and I had to jump on his bandwagon and take control before he flipped it over ...but I'm scared. Has anyone done this before? What will I eat?

Just call me Hippie Chick!!!

Wow, thanks Strawberrie for the quiz link...I always knew I was a bra burning, pot smokin, love makin' hippie that should have been born in the era of "make love, not war!" Okay, I don't smoke pot...not in a LONG time but back in the days of "free love" I'm sure I would have been firing up my share.

You are a Hippie. Wow.

What kind of Sixties Person are you?
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Quiz Time

Get the link up:


What kind of sixties chick are you? I always knew I was a Go go girl ...just never knew where I was going...

Go-Go Girl

You are a Go-Go Girl! Yay you!

What kind of Sixties Person are you?
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Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! I love this time of year! My birthday is my favorite holiday ...which probably says a lot about me;) I think most people overlook the significance of this holiday and forget this day gives them a license to make everything about themselves. I LOVE TO MAKE IT ABOUT ME!!!

My b-day was actually yesterday ...but I was so totally swapmed there was no time to let you all know! I had a fab week-end with Rainblow Bright (wouldn't you like to know!) LOL ...just being girls again! It's amazing how much fun you can have with costumes and cameras ...and don't forget the sears sales associate!! hee hee hee

..but due to my birthday I missed a new blogger. I'd like to welcome Hanzo ...who is ever so interesting ...but what are all the riddles about? Visit his place "Snowflake Kaleidoscope" http://hanzoitami.blogspot.com/ ...let us know what you think ...and if you can find reason in his rhythms. ...careful though ...he's very seductive;)

Thursday, January 06, 2005


I'm a little concerned today. Yesterday during my "down time" I took an online survey which informed me I am 48% white trash redneck. ...Pardon? Moi? Me? Redneck? I was very put out by this and chalked it up to "bogus survey". ...that was until I drove home last night ...when I realized the trucker beside me was annoyed by the sound coming from my hood ...it caused me to start thinking a little more about things. ...The poo really hit the fan when I pulled up to my house ...where I realized I still have t.p. hanging from my trees ...this was a Christmas gift left for me from vandels that visited waaaaay before Christmas. I made excuses (as usual) and reminded myself how wet and rainy it had been ...how could anyone expect me to pick wet tp out of the trees. I continued up the drive and saw the first thing that greets our visitors ...a big green dumpster ...again ...we are constructing a new house ...a dumpster comes in handy ...it's excusable ....by the time I got in the door ...I really had to pee ...We live so far in the middle of no where my drive home takes an hour ...this is when reality hit ...I walked into my bathroom and realized I have a couch and loveseat sitting on their side in there ...I was saving it for the day I ditch the man and leave him with nothing ...he'll need something to sleep, eat and watch tv on. I'm not totally ruthless ..just redneck

I do not recommend taking this survey ...brings about way to much over-analysation (sp?) ...but maybe it would console to know others share my white trash ways?

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Confessions of a Board-Bunny...

On New Years Eve, Rainbow Bright and I decided to venture into the mountains (ha ha, Paoli Peaks) for a little snowboarding. If you have ever been skiing ...you know ...what you are wearing is of utmost importance to the girls. I planned a big shopping day to make sure I had just the right snow pants and pink fuzzy sweater ...However, I did not plan on the stores closing early for New Years ...sad day. I spent the rest of the night searching for something that would, at least, keep me dry ...a far cry from the board-bunny attire I had invisioned ...fleece sleepy pants, aeropostle pants and (black) nike swoosh pants ...I looked like a big black marshmellow. My thighs looked thunderous under all those clothes! p.s I did find a fluffy pink hoodie ;) At midnight we were headed down the slopes ...I guess we looked okay at first ...However, it happened to be 60 degrees here on N.Y. eve ...between all the exhertion and layers of clothes & (pink) toboggin (love pink!!!) I begin to sweat ...furiously! Now, I have never been overly athletic ...I love to wakeboard ...but honestly, I believe that is due to the fact that the boat does all the work ...all I need to do is stand there and look pretty for the VERY HOT BOYS on rough river;) SNOWBOARDING TAKES EFFORT!

So ...here comes the confession. I am becoming increasingly attracted to one of bf's distant friends (makes it sound better if he is not close friend) Upon initial introduction this was not so ...However in conversation I discovered he was a virgin! Extreme Turn-On! I have never taken anyones virginity and find it intriging (sp?) ...This boy is like 10 years younger than me ...and it matters at our age ..he's legal ...but not right.

It's like 3 in the morning and I decide it's time to take on some steeper hills ...big mistake! Was soooo not ready for them ...I fell every 4 feet ...I'm down AGAIN! Sweating like a big fat pig, my hair is wet and sticking to my face, I'm so frustrated I begin beating my hands in the snow, my knees are sore and I am rolling around in the snow trying to get back on my feet ...when who should appear to lend a helping hand ...my virgin sacrifice ..only I can't even begin to act cool ...I am exhausted. He tries to pull me up and I am so drained I can not lend any help at all! ...I must have looked something desperate. I imagine he felt like he was trying to pull a cow up out of the snow. Pitiful. ...I make it down the hill and am in line for the ski lift when I overhear him muttering something about my bf and how he should be taking care of me because I am his girl ...I felt so milky ...snow bunny I am no longer.

How are you on the slopes? Ever stole someones virginity?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

To Pant or Not to Pant?

I don't wear panties ...usually ...some clothes require them and so ....after much research I deemed thongs the most comfortable panty ...you know ...for those days when it's absolutely necessary not to go to work with a camel toe;) I have a very large a** for such a little girl ...No matter what I wear whatever is there my a** will eat ...so I decided that having one string up my crack is not as sucky as having a whole roll of material up there.

This morning, as I was dressing in the dark ...it reminded me of a morning not so long ago ...I got up ...late as usual and dressed myself in record time. Upon my arrival to the workplace I realized something ...was just not right. Something in my pants was definitely wrong. I went all morning with this uncomfortable, wrong feeling. I checked things out down there several times ...but still a little foggy from my night out with Jerry Lee ...came to the conclusion that nothing looked out of place ...then after lunch I saw it ...I had my panties on sideways! How does this happen ...I felt like such a loser ...my crusty crotch was over on my hip and my hip was hanging out with my monkey ...how did that happen?! ...and how does it happen twice ...for today it nearly happened again..