Out of Character

Just two friends, sharing, laughing and remembering...Good Times!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Resolutions??

Realizing it had been quite a while since our last entry I decided it was time we blog something from this crazy life. Things have been so chaotic lately there has been no time for ...life (blogs!!) I asked R.B. for suggestions ...she suggested I embellish drunk tuesday ...and would ...if I could remember any of it. I thought maybe New Years Resolutions would be interesting ...and appropriate for this time of year ...and then I realized ...we don't have any ...wouldn't make for a very interesting story. ...No time for fun at Christmastime ...strictly mall rats! Aside from my debute at the new wal-mart ...I love pillow fights and surely it was the devil that put a whole bin of the softest squishiest pillows ever created in front of me ...I immediately started launching pink pigs and purple elephants at the man ...he was closer to picture frames and with no means of retaliation it was total annihilation ...until some creepy old chick called for reinforcement ...KILL JOY! Lighten up ...Merry freakin' Christmas..

Does anyone make resolutions anymore? I guess, with everyone being so health conscious these days, no one makes the age old lose weight and stop smoking vow ..We ...well mostly you, ...are going to be sorely disappointed when you are laying in a hospital bed dying of nothing one day ...me ...I'll be in the next bed with clogged arteries, high blood pressure, liver rot, scared up and banged up ...but don't worry ...I'll have plenty of good tales and margaritas to help you pass the time! ...life's short ...enjoy what you have while you can ...for tomorrow is to uncertain. Have dessert, eat fat and FIRE IT UP! Rainbow Bright and I ...being the here and now girls that we've alwasys been, probably will not be posting any resolutions ...but would like to know what you have planned ...or don't have planned for 2005?

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The Devil made me do it!

Okay, if you know me, you know that I have very little willpower whatsoever. I was not blessed with, what's it called? Ummm, a conscious? Just kidding, I do have one, but I do choose to ignore it from time to time in the name of fun. What is so wrong with that? I have a quote that I keep posted by my desk that reads like this... "You are free to make choices; you are not free to escape the consequences of those choices." I am not sure where this originated but I took it to heart almost 3 years ago when I found it. Three years ago, I was having the time of my life while I kept that little conscious of mine buried deep within, but I always knew there would be a day when I would have to face the facts that my actions did not affect me alone; but hurt many others along the way.

So, why am I bringing this up now? Well, here it is 10 days until Christmas and I should be worried about being a good girl so Santa will look kindly upon me and bring me that parfume from Victoria's Secret and the Keri Noble Cd that I've been wanting for a whole year! Instead, here I sit at my desk, thinking of all the fun I could be having if that little angel on my right shoulder would get snuffed out by the devil on my left. Life really is about choices and I don't regret any that I've made, I am happy and I love my family. I wouldn't change anything but I do believe that I will forever be looking for that excitment of the days gone by. Will I be 40, 50 and even 60 and STILL be looking for that "moment" that just blows my mind? Am I a Desperate Housewife? I never would have thought so, I mean, they are like in their 40's, on the verge of a mid-life crisis, not pushing 30 with a child under 2 at home.

So, I thought I was doing well at being a good wife and mother...that is until I was faced with a proposition that just seemed almost too good to turn down. I fought with this (yes, a sex proposition) for quite some time, even looked to SS for support. She knows that of my many weaknesses, this would be the biggest of them all. No strings attached, hot steamy sex with an adoring man who just wants to please and be pleased...nothing more. Oh, the simplicity of it all, no questions asked, no, I don't care that you took the garbage out AND did the dishes...just get me wet, do your thing and leave me be! We all know the perils of adultery and the dangerous road it can lead you down, so why was I even considering this proposal? Uhhh, were you even reading the above??? Because, it feels damn good!

In the face of temptation, how did I respond? I politely, begrudgingly said no and have tried to reconsider ever since. The better part of me knows that I made the right decision and I am glad I listened to my conscious, but man...what fun I could have!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Uptown Girl?

...Saturday night I had an invite to "a wine tasting party". Now ...if you know me well at all you can imagine how excited I was. I love to experience new things ...especially where alcohol is involved! My only problem was these people were a little more uptown than myself ...a little more ...cultured, if you will. I really wanted to wow them with whatever bottle I would introduce. ...So ...Sat. night I spent 15 minutes in the local liquor outlet picking a wine "with a robust bouquet" ha ha ha ...I love the internet! I settled on a massive bottle of arbor mist. Everybody who's anybody would love that ...right?

We met at a nice little place in town for a meet & greet and some supper ...that's when I realized I was terribly different than these chaps! They were sooooooooo grown up! I'm just ...not. As they talked of current events my mind wondered to my own current event ...Why the hell did I wear panties for these people ...they were peeking out of my pants and riding up the crack of my a** . I'm just not really a panty person ...but I was trying to keep up with the jones. When in rome....

As I arrived at the house I was a little anxious to get started ...but first, of course, more current events, followed by a global warming debate. Hmmmp ...someone please tell me why I am not drunk yet. ...Finally the wine was brought in ...I proudly sat my arbor mist on the counter with the generic price tag still in place ...$8.70 ...Wow! Then I noticed ...none of their wine was chilled and they certainly did not bear a price tag ...apparently good wine is not meant for the fridge ...but where did they shop that their wine didn't have a price tag??? The hostess explained why we needed to start with the dryest wines and move down to sweet ...and why we would NEVER move down the the arbor mist level ...WHAT??? Were you aware that arbor mist is not a wine ...but more so a wine cooler? I knew I loved that stuff;)

Okay ... Can we just get this thing started? We started with a very dry wine that made me think I was drinking river water spiked with a plentiful amount of warheads. NO THANKS ...I ate so much cheese to get the taste out of my mouth I won't potty for a week! This was followed by things like tree bark ...how lovely. We finally moved on to the sweeter wine ...where I discovered I like the home brewed stuff A LOT. I'm just a firm believer in eating/drinking what I like. I don't do anything because that's what someone else says I should do ...unless he/she is really hot ;) and it just seems like some folks force themselves to like things that others really don't ...just to make themselves appear ...bigger. ...If I have to acquire a taste for something ...I DON'T WANT IT! That's just terrible ...Steer clear of that ...if you don't like it the first time it's in your mouth ..spit!

In the end ...the bottle of arbor mist was opened/finished my me and I had a great time ...eventually I worked sex talk into their conversations and had a blast. By the end of the night everyone was telling secrets and contemplating ecstasy.

I guess I'm not really an uptown girl after all ...maybe more of a Hoe-Down kind of girl! Can anyone recommend a good wine that won't embarrass me/them the next time I walk in?

Friday, December 10, 2004

Partners in Crime-The Adventures of RB & SS

...Every 6 weeks I travel home to "a particular state" because there is only one beautician in the world who knows how to tye dye hair. ...but the best part of my trip is seeing RB and last night was no exception. After my 2 hour tour at the salon we met at Mexico for a meet and greet ...mostly drinks. She's my best good friend ...there's no one in the world like her and just seeing her makes my life more bearable ...mostly cause I know her sucks even worse than mine! LOL ...we sat there reminescing of gay clubs (not sucky gay ...but real gay boy meets boy clubs)and being drugged ....though we still haven't figured that out (another blog, another day) ...then my mine drifted away to the good ol' days of dancing and drive-ins ...and since we're pretty much barred (by the boys) from the only hot spot in town ...we opted for the ...though once thriving but now abandoned drive in ...where we shook our "plush" a**es to every 80's song we know (in the mud, mind you) ...and after studying one anothers dance moves ...wondered if we were ever as cool as we once thought. ...we have no moves, no rhythm and discovered we do not know one complete song! As that grew less and less appealing we craved more excitement (as if that wasn't enough?) so ...to leave our mark on the world ...we spray painted a building ...though not pre-meditated worked out nicely ...we were just going to sign our name and slogan (take it to da house ...again ...another blog) ...but there before us ...sat a forgotton paint can. ...RB went to work! YEEE-HAWWWL ..this is fun! Of course, after that, our night at the Roxbury was over ...we had to abandon ship ...though not being the stealthiest criminals ...left the evidence behind ..bad move. ...After that ...we were headed home ...but someone had left orange cones in the middle of the road ...strange ...hmmm "Stop this bus ...I need some cones" ...bright idea ...but now what ...hmmm ...and there before me ...an ex's house ...how convenient ...he won't need to get out in the morning ...let's do a little construction right here! Left the cones and we were on the move ...What 20 something women will do to relive their youth. What's the craziest thing you and your buds ever did?

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Tis' the wonderful season...or not

Only 15 shopping days left till the big ole' guy in red makes his appearance. Ask me how many gifts I have yet to buy...okay, I have about 15! Considering I only have 20 people to buy for, I'd say I'm not doing so well. Now, I love Christmas as much as the next person and my favorite part is watching loved ones open gifts that I spent my hard earned cash (not to mention, countless hours) on, but I am a bit discouraged this year for some reason. Here it is only 15 days away and I have not one light, decoration or anything to celebrate the season. Tell me, when do working people with children, family obligations and more, have time to do these things? I feel completely overwhelmed this year with no end in sight. My problem this year, as in past years is not financial, but finding the time to get it all done and not kill myslef in the process. Anyone else have this problem? I like to think of myself as a multi-tasker as I think most mothers must be, but I'm finding it very difficult to juggle this year. Any suggestions from those Martha Stewart/June Cleaver types who have it all together and keep a smile on their face all the while?

HELP!!!!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

The top 10 reasons I heart SS!

So, here it is nearly a month since my last blog and to my best blog friend...I am sorry! So, to make it up to you this one is all about you! I am sure I could come up with more but here is what I have so far.

10. SS loves to get her drink on as much as I, therefore I don't ever have to worry about being the "crazy drunk girl"...she has me beat there.

9. SS makes me laugh without saying a word. No, not because she looks funny but because she has this "up to no good smile" that I'm sure nobody else notices.

8. She tells me she loves me when we say goodbye. This may not seem like much to some but for me (someone who barely tells her mother this) it is.

7. SS is without a doubt, no questions asked, the BEST person to go out clubbin' with. Doesn't matter where, hole-in-the wall dive or best bar in town...she will make it fun.

6. She tolerates me correcting her vocabulary and doesn't get mad when I use big words on her, just because I want to feel smart.

5. She always remembers my b-day...okay, maybe not the date but the general time-frame at least and I know I can expect a good meal and a least 3 margarita's that day.

4. SS didn't run me over with her jeep when I did the unthinkable and slept with her boyfriend. She also didn't speak to me for what seemed like an eternity but at least she didn't egg my house!

3. SS will ALWAYS keep my secrets for me, good or bad and without any judgement. Everyone needs someone who will do this because it has certainly saved my sanity at times.

2. SS is the best back-tickler in the world and she doesn't even mind if I fall asleep before doing her back.

AND THE # 1 reason I heart SS is.....

1. She stays on my ass to blog! She knows how I have a great tendency to not finish what I start so I get many friendly reminders throughout the day and for that I'm grateful.

So, that is it....not really, I honestly have 1000 other reasons to heart her but mainly I heart her because she hearts me.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Don't Shoot

Although my week-end may not have been as "full-filling" as my counterpart I had some real excitement as well! Saturday morning 6am I awoke and put every article of clothing I own on. Opening Day ...Deer Season! I was pretty excited to get to go with the big boys ...if you saw little me in the midst of all those carhartt overalls and shotguns you would have surely laughed ...my gun ..although a youth model ...was bigger than I was and the only visible skin was my eyes. I was off to conquer the wild. Now the trip into the woods was pretty fun ...I liked the way the pick up bounced around ...I felt like we were really roughing it. However, the tree stand was a little frightening. If you've never seen one of these contraptions you can not comprehend ...and this backwards girl had some difficulty walking this thing up the tree. Up Up Up and Away ..higher he yelled ...At 6 feet off the ground I knew I had topped out! So ..there I sat. A hunter ...waitting for the hunted. I commanded my post 3 hours without seeing a single solitary deer. Alone in the woods ...or so I thought. It wasn't until the first shot was fired that I realized we had more company than we thought. I was okay up until this point ..and although I was really trying to impress the boys with my hunting skills ...something else had taken over ...fear!! I stood up in my stand waving my orange gloves wildly and unzipping my own carhartt so you could see the orange fleece beneath ...DON'T SHOOT, I pleaded!! ..and in an instant I was reduced back to ..just a girl. However, I was not done there. After leaving the wheat field I was camped in I was a little disappointed that I had not been able to shoot anything. After sensing my disappointment ...I was given the opportunity to fire live ammo from the hood of a pickup ...BIG MISTAKE! I don't know where I went wrong ...but what started out to be a hunting trip turned out to be an expensive trip to the body man. I wasn't aiming for the truck, just somehow managed to fire that first shot into the hood ...Maybe next year.

If I had a wish....

I wish I was more computer saavy and could link up our blogs ...but ...I'm not so I'll try to explain myself. Someone out there in the virtual world had the fabulous idea to post our wish lists! YIPPPEEE ...she said we could all work together to make wishes come true ...In addition she wants us to "spread some holiday cheer" by doing good things for each other in the blog community. I believe her thinking was ..that maybe we didn't have to spend $$ but if we had something we didn't use or want we could pass it on ...NEAT -O! ...and let's face it ..some of us just have more resources! So here goes...

1. I want to be somebody else. ...Make no mistake ...I love me ...but I'd like to trade places with someone in a different situation than my own ...there are so many less fortunate children in the world ...I'd like to give that little kiddo all my Christmas presents ...and walk in his bare feet for one day ...just cause we all need to have a reminder sometimes.

2. I'd like to have $500 to replace my front door I assaulted 3 months ago. You see, I have a giving loving heart but a temper like a 2 year old with the strength of a wrestler ...dont know where all the rage or strength comes from ...just shows up out of the blue. So while I was throwing the kiddie fit the man thought it would be better if the temper flared on the outside of the house as opposed to the inside ..big mistake!! LOL ...from a distance ...it just looks frosted!

3. I wish for Ciao! My Bella to rescue this lifeless blog!

4. Vin Diesel to sneak into my bedroom and whisk me away like peter pan ...though I'd settle for a romp in the floor;)

5. hmmm...let me think

..this is a work in progress..

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Hey Bidder Bidder

I love Ebay ...I think I'm addicted to ebay ...even though I've never had a positive experience and am strictly forbode by "the man" to go back there ...I keep returning! It's ...exciting to me ...so much merchandise in one place ...and the best part is ...you don't have to pay to play! Well ..not right away anyway. As Americans ...anything we can postpone payment on ...Is worth buying! Right?

My first ebay experience was fairly disappointing. I had been searching for the old tupperware stencils that I had as a child. The ones that kept me busy for hours on end and created every greeting card I sent from Kiddie-garden to Jr.High! I thought my neice should have the same experience and I knew she would love them. I searched for a year and finally ...there they were ...Good ol' Ebay! I bid ...what I thought was a modest amount and logged off. Some creepy old chick must have bid a billion and 2 dollars (as opposed to my billion). So off I go ..in search of more stencils ...but this time ...NO ONE WILL OUT BID ME ...Do I hear a million, 3? Why yes I do ...6 times! I bid on every set of tupperware stencils ebay offered up ....I was so excited to receive my 1st email saying I had one ...my first winning bid ...but the excitement did not stop there ...I continued to receive emails through out the day ...I one enough stencils for every kid in my family ..only there was one problem ...I didn't WIN them ...I still have to pay. YIKES! Fortunately, for me, the man worked overtime that weekend ...all morning in the cold wet rain so I could save face in the virtual world. My hero... HA! After that I was strictly forbidden ...kicked off the auction block. That was the deal ...he'd pay my debt if I promised not to go back ...okay ...sounded good at the time.

So ..last week ebay sent an invite to come and shop awhile ...How could I say no ..it was a personal evite ..right? ...but I didn't have a whole lot of time to shop around ...I knew I needed to buy momma tennis shoes for Christmas ...so I went straight to the athletic section. There they were ...brand new nikes for $5 ...WHAT! That's a great deal ...and I can defer the payment for 2 whole days. Count me in ..max bid $10. I was proud as a peacock. I WON I WON! I won freakin' used tennie's ...Who gives used tennies for Christmas. Did the wisemen smoke the muhr and bestow ashes upon the newborn ...NO! So here I am ...on an already tight budget and now I've spent $15 (add shipping) on used tennies. What to do? what to do?

to be cont'd....