Girls and Pimp's Gone Wild!

I have to talk about my weekend, since it was fairly eventful and that is unusual for me these days. Friday night was a girls night minus SS and her presence was sorely missed. Her move to that OTHER state has really put a crimp in my social life! I never seem to have as much fun when she isn't around...whether its her or the huge amounts of alcohol we ingest, I don't know but thats neither here nor there.

So, back to the "girls nite." There were only 6 of us who got together for manicures, pedicures and massages which meant, more massage time for me! It is very cool to have a friend who gives massages for a living and the fact that she doesn't mind doing it for free, is very cool too. I could embellish here a little and say that we were nude and it was a full body massage but I won't...it was full body but we kept our clothes on...it was way to cold for that! I left my girls nite feeling totally refreshed...and ready for bed!

The other thing that happened, didn't happen to me but to my spouse...I just still can't believe it so I have to talk about it. He went to a nearby City (a college town) to hang out with some friends and do what they do...it really isn't that exciting but this day, there was a new guy hanging out with him. This new guy kept getting phone call after phone call on his cell phone. He was really working while hanging out and he wasn't shy about his job. He is a....PIMP! Now, I have seen and done a lot in all of my years but I have NEVER met a real Pimp! Mr. Pimp was taking call after call from customers who were asking what girls he had working this day. He has 10 on his payroll and only five were working this past Saturday. So, Pimp would ramble the stats of his girls off like he was reading from a Taco Bell menu...but he had their stats memorized. So, I could imagine the conversation going a little like this...

"Big Pimp's Escort Service, how can I help you?" "Uh...yeah, what do you have available today at 5pm?" Well, I have a 5ft2 blond, blue eyed, 36DD, who loves to give head, also available is a 5ft6in redhead with green eyes who is submissive..." "Okay, I'll take the blond, 5pm, today, same place, right?" Yes, she will be there for one hour and will need your $200 up front." "You have a good day now, nice doing business with you."

Am I the only one to think this is odd? My spouse found it highly entertaining and not really odd at all. Apparently this guys "ho's" are all college girls or strippers who get to keep $100 of the money for their services. Mr. Pimp keeps the other $100 for providing them with a "decent" clientel and a hotel room to conduct business. He seems legit, paying taxes on his earnings and reporting wages for his "employees." What is even more odd, his wife is a professional in a highly respected medical field. How weird is that? What in the world are these girls thinking...and why do they need a pimp to take half their profit? Dance for money, yes, strip for money, yes...but sex for money? Oh hell no! I much prefer the control of knowing that I will NOT to have to stomach the stench of the overweight hairy perv who last showered during the Carter administration! I know, hairy guys need love too...sorry, but what's wrong with a little wax every now and then!

So, big question if you dare to be honest...ever paid for sex? I don't mean by paying for dinner and a movie. Ever hand over greenbacks for sexual favors? What was it like? If you haven't, would you? If this is the case and you are near northern Kentucky, I just may have a good pimp for ya!

Back to Land of Living!

Thank you so much for all the concern as to my whereabouts yesterday and JQP, why did you have to rat us out? That was to be our secret and now they all know what a dirty cheatin' whore I am! At least tell them that Mrs. JQP was in the know and didn't mind since she left you all alone...that way, I'm only ruining one marriage (mine) and not two!

Seriously, I was at home and nobody would have wanted to be near me. I picked up a stomach bug from the little puky kid we took skiing with us on Sunday and began hurling my guts out around 2am Thursday morning. This didn't end until around 9am yesterday and the whole day was spent on the couch phasing in and out of consciousness, too tired to even watch talk shows! What kind of a day off is that? I do however have one good thing to report about spewing chunks all night...I LOST 2 LBS! 11 down, only 10 to go, WhoooHooo! Another couple days of chunking and I'll be bikini ready in no time flat! Oh and SS, it was not neon green, just in case you were wondering.

I am sorry that I missed such an eventful day though and too bad that I have way too much crap to catch up on today. I've got a grant deadline of Feb 1 looming above and I am suffering from writers block...how much can you really say about a boat/camping facility?

Have a good day and weekend everyone!

Same Quiz

Wackiness: 74/100Rationality: 60/100Constructiveness: 60/100Leadership: 50/100
You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower.

This makes you a Paul Begala.You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to. You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised.You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.

Of the 81367 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 4.8 % are this type.

Like SS, this quiz hit a bullseye with me. Although, I do tend to be the leader, more than follower...right SS? She told me to take the quiz and I did but just wanted to get thru it. Fun, fun! If you take it, post a link so we can all see who you are.

Cleanse Me Baby!

Well, I have been sick all week and still feel like crap. I thought that by it being Friday, I would feel better, just because the weekend was here and I would get out of this cramped little office for two days. But, no...I still feel like my head is going to explode from all the pressure and my usualy soft female voice has been replaced by a deep raspy, nasal tone that oddly sounds sexy to a couple of guys at work. Aside from it being a short week (thank you MLK and my government job) it has been one of the suckiest in awhile. Just the usual really, too much to do, too many meetings, my desk is a mess and the big boss man has been his usual tryant self but add all that to the way I feel and you got one hell'uva bad week. Oh yeah, don't forget this diet I'm on...only adding to my misery. I like Strawberrie have been trying to lose a few lbs (summer and lake weather will be here before we know it) more like about 20 lbs...but who's counting? I am dammit! I'm counting every day that I get on that scale and the number doesn't move down, not even one ounce! It is so frustrating, you would think that after nearly 3 weeks on the ultra low carb/good carb "South Beach Diet" I would have taken off the standard 8-13 lbs that they promise you in the book. No, I've been stuck at a 7 lb loss for about 3 days and it is utterly frustrating. So, this has got me to think of other ways to quickly drop lbs when I think I heard the perfect plan on the radio the other day. It's called the "Master Cleanser Diet." Anyone heard of it? I works like this, you drink at least 6, 8 ounce glasses of the "lemonade" a day and eat nothing else. You can drink more if you want but once you see what it is made out of, I doubt you'll be asking for more. It has squeezed lemon juice, cayenne pepper and natural maple syrup in it. Sounds delish, right? Well, this just might be my ticket to my itsy bitsy bikini this summer...I mean, I don't have to eat and I LOVE lemonade, so what could be so hard about it? Oh did I forget to mention that I have also started training for a mini marathon on March 30? Yeah, can you see me trying to run 4 miles with only lemon juice, pepper and syrup in my system? That is a trip to the hospital just waiting to happen. It is stated that this "lemonade" will cleanse you off all that ails you...including unwanted fat, so I may just have to forgo my marathon training for a week and give it a try.

I know that a "quick fix" is usually not the way to go but, I am not usually a patient person...I want what I want, when I want it. Don't make me wait any longer than necessary and 3 months is too damn long to lose 20 freakin' lbs! So, I may just go shopping over the weekend and give this lemonade thing a try. Anyone heard of it or ever tried it? I know its been around forever and I'd love to hear some real-life experiences. Can I do this one week AND maintain my sanity? Will I lose 10 lbs in a week? Please just don't tell me that you ended up in the emergency room on IV fluids!

Confessions and Teenagers

I just have to confess...my first attempt at smoking pot was not with Strawberrie as she indicated. I was not a pot-head but my first attempt at the "good stuff" was at the tender age of 13. Yep, I was in 7th grade and it happened at the local movie theater...behind the theater. Doesn't all good things happen behind the theater? Your parents think you are calmly and safely watching a movie with your buds, but no, instead you are getting high on weed and drunk on MD 20/20. Boy, that drink brings back memories. With all those substances, its no wonder I ended up pregnant in the 9th grade! Now I know teenage parenthood isn't for everyone but for me...it save my life. I truly believe I was headed down a dangerous road and that my son is the only way I would have made it to my twenties alive. I had started hanging out with the wrong crowd, doing the wrong things and I had very little accountablity. I wanted to be accepted by everyone, so I did as they did. It didn't help that at 14, I looked 21...fully developed, at least physically. Most of my friends were 18 or over and to me, they were so cool. They were worth breaking curfew, sneaking out at night and having sex before I was ready.

Now that my son is getting to the age I was when trouble started, I am "Mama the Watchdog." I know I wear him out sometimes with my "who, what, when & where," but how else are we supposed to know what are kids are up to? I am thankful that he is a wonderful son and that he was born first, so I can practice my teen parenting before my daughter wreaks havoc on my life. I will be a bit older and hopefully wiser then, I know from other parents of teenage girls...it will be a bumpy ride. And if my daughter is ANYTHING like I was...just put me in "Our Lady of Peace" now because, I'm sure all the anti-depressants in the world won't help!

When I began this, I intended to share plenty of "gettin' high" stories but after reading a post by Muzikdude about his teenage daughter, I guess my thoughts went elsewhere. Here you can check out his teenage daughter story....I'm sure he has many more. http://muziks-muzings.blogspot.com/

Maybe I'll share my wicked childhood...and possibly adult ways later.

Just call me Hippie Chick!!!

Wow, thanks Strawberrie for the quiz link...I always knew I was a bra burning, pot smokin, love makin' hippie that should have been born in the era of "make love, not war!" Okay, I don't smoke pot...not in a LONG time but back in the days of "free love" I'm sure I would have been firing up my share.


You are a Hippie. Wow.

What kind of Sixties Person are you?
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